Worst Cooks in America 1/17

We're a little behind at the moment, but we wanted to take some time for decent cooks yesterday. Now we can return to the hellaciousness that Anne and Tyler get to endure on a weekly basis.

After losing Sydney and Gospel Ty last week, we've got 10 remaining hopefuls. They enter to hear they will get to create their own flavor combinations. They get to taste a bunch of flavor samples that on the surface seem blech, but turn out fine.

Yo Gabba Gabba Donna describes the flavors as fighting and then making love in her mouth - I hope she washes afterwards. The olives and white chocolate don't seem to give anyone a pregnant pause. I'm thinking any recruit that looked like they would puke would be on the short list this week.

Time to make ice cream sandwiches! Yay! Oh, wait, the contestants are making them, nevermind. Finger-lickin Holgie has her normal confused stare as Anne demonstrates how to use the mixer and everyone else takes notes.

Tyler demonstrates the science of the cookies. I cannot WAIT to see who screws up the measurements the most. My better half is anxious to see who screws up tempering the eggs the most. It could end up being the same person colossally messing up both, though.

Oh, they get to pick their own flavor of cookie, using what they have just "learned" in flavor sampling. I hope Tyler likes olive-based chocolate cookies that have the consistency of cement. It'll be a blind taste test, which surprises Holgie that they found enough blind people to sample the dishes. My head hurts from the facepalm.

Donna is considering a basil/coconut ice cream, which sounds like it could be passable - until she gets flustered by heat. Too bad, it actually sounded like an interesting concept. Holgie is using espresso and cinnamon in her ice cream, with a peanut butter cookie - again, sounds good on paper. Rachel's going for a margarita based ice cream - OK, that sounds good too. Ernie's going for a peanut cookie, drawing on something he had with his dad.

Chanda is the winner in the who-will-screw-up-measuring contest! You get a teaspoon to hold the world's tiniest violin. It won't help in cutting her cement cookies though.

Taylor is going for a bacon and banana cookie, which sounds odd at first. Manbun Nick is making a sauce of maraschino cherry juice, chocolate, and vodka - so sweet you will get an immediate rush, I think. He seems to like it though.

GINNY THINKS HER ICE CREAM IS BETTER THAN SEX. I feel bad for her sex life. I don't want to know about her milkshake, either.

Time for the blind tasting. Chanda's is picked out right away for the cement consistency. Lazy Latina Glenda went nuts on salt and it shows. Manbun Nick's plate is a mess.

Bottoms up!

10. Chanda (cement dragged you to the bottom)
9. Glenda (salt, blech)
8. Lawrence (sprinkles galore)
7. Ginny
6. Nick (syrup backfired, misplaced on this dish)
5. Holgie
4. Taylor (bacon and banana worked well enough)
3. Ernie (good texture)
2. Donna (I'm stunned she did this well)
1. Rachel (delicious and major kudos for the margarita cookie, a win for the blue team)

Continuing to the main dish challenge, we're making empanadas! As no one there seems to know what those are (including Glenda), Anne explains the basics of them. Tyler shows turkey picadillo empanadas with lime crema. Anne is going for a pork/potato empanada with tomatillo salsa. Glenda thinks this is a really weird combination. I think Glenda is weird for thinking that it weird to have pork and tomatillos in a Cuban dish.

Glenda gets right to work drowning her pan in salt again. Lawrence is going for lamb curry flavor - creative, and Tyler likes it. Rachel's dish sounds good too, going Greek with her chicken assignment. Boston taylor is grabbing the bacon again, which is going to get tired very quickly. Manbun Nick is staying very much in the box in flavors - Spanish only and nothing else, so he's behind his competitors UNTIL he whips out the tequila. Getting judges drunk will help. Chanda is confused on what to make and sounds like she is making it up as she goes along. Ernie is cautioned against going too simple again as he did for the ice cream challenge, which halts his progress for a while as the wheels spin in his mind...and spin....and spin.... and spin. Holgie's making a nice mess, and so is Chanda. Ginny's going to try and use a bunch of things she's never tasted before to be "creative". At this exact same moment, I notice that I have no wine left, and go to get another glass.

Taylor is lost and stressed and the food processor is stumping him as time winds down. Chanda's confusion has not improved. Heck, nobody looks happy or content. Sounds like a perfect time to judge!

First up, Chicken (Taylor and Rachel): Taylor's is dry despite a good flavor profile, but Rachel's is all around good and gets the nod. 

Lamb (Glenda and Lawrence): Lawrence's is juicy but is unbalanced for sweetness. Glenda's is loaded with salt and makes both judges almost gag., 

Pork (Nick and Holgie): Holgie's didn't seal up right but taste good,. Nick's filling is dry. Holgie takes it. 

Turkey (Chanda and Ernie): Chanda actually gets good marks for a breakfast approach. Ernie tried to go Caribbean but get a stinkface from Anne. Chanda manages to take one for the red team!

Beef (Donna and Ginny): Ginny's didn't seal right either, and can't shut up. Anne looks like she wants to punch her. So do half the contestants. The dish is badly seasoned. Donna went for a mini-calzone approach and it gets good marks - it lacks salt but it's enough to win. 

Time for eliminations - my money is on Glenda to go home after getting lucky last week. I don't know about the blue team but I am guessing Ginny may go based on the first challenge playing in as well. 

Safe from Blue: Rachel's was the best this week. Also safe are Lawrence and Holgie, putting Ernie and Ginny in the bottom two. However, Ernie goes home, not Ginny. I'm surprised since he did all right in the first challenge, but Tyler felt he had stalled out and wasn't progressing so it was time to go.
Safe from Red: Chanda is at the top (not saying much considering the rest of the red team), Donna's also safe, and so is Nick. Taylor and Glenda are the bottom two. Glenda is the easy choice to go, as she flubbed both parts today and last week as well.

Tune in next week as the remaining survivors are asked to multitask in the kitchen and Holgie attempts to sell everyone some magic mushrooms so they can taste the color blue.