Thanks to Michelle walking off last week, the top 5 are all male for the first time. All of them except Brian Boitano have a lot to enjoy with Giada's latest dress.
The first challenge is to work with their brand to create a dish that a home cook can recreate in half an hour from a kit of fresh ingredients. Lenny Jr is making fish and grits instead of shrimp and grits, and Dom is making chicken cutlets with arugula. Because arugula shows him off as a tough New Yorker. Brian Boitano is all ready for people to receive him in a box, as if he's used to being anywhere near one. Sandwich King Jr. has the best tagline for his brand, but we'll have to see if he can present without giving an ingredient list. Eddie Football is making a Caribbean shrimp salad, but he added too much citrus juice.
Presentation time, and Alex is shining for once. He describes harissa paste with colorful and descriptive language instead of saying what it's made from, and he works his brand in. Mike thinks that Alex will run over time, but instead Lenny comes close to it. Brian Boitano says that his brand here is "party in a box." I'm sure there are a lot of people who want a party in a box, especially as Giada starts talking about it too! She sure seems to be inviting one with what her neckline shows...more like a boobline than anything else. Dom also shines at presentation time! I guess he and Alex both had the fear of God put into them. Eddie Football goes last while knowing his food isn't up to par, and the nerves take over. Eddie comments that Giada does not have the best poker face (while Mike adds that Eddie would probably like to poke her face), and Bobby is not impressed. Eddie has been on a downward slope for too long now, and if Alex and Dom aren't in their usual position at the bottom he may be in trouble this week.
The judges reveal what rank everyone was given in order to let them choose what holiday they want to do a special for. Alex wins and takes Fourth of July as the best sandwich holiday, and Eddie loses and get stuck with Halloween. Alex talks about going to Dewey Beach as a kid, so he's an East Coast boy. Eddie Football wants a big piece of meat with a big bone in it for Halloween, and Giada seems to want the same. Lenny hits his personal touch while also getting a piece of meat that cooks faster by making Thanksgiving quail. Eddie comments about Lenny barely being able to get his fingers in the butt as he stuffs the quail...isn't that Brian Boitano's job? I know the jokes in this post seems to follow a theme, but they've just been writing themselves. Brian Boitano has Valentine's Day and is making chocolate framboise wontons that sound incredible. However, he is worried about them oozing down onto his shirt, which can't be the first time he's ever said that. And since it's Valentine's Day, then he wants to remove his shirt. Still, I do like his teaching point that wontons don't have to be savory. Italian Boy Dom is making fish for Christmas, but I kinda wish he was making octopus like some friends of ours!
Just before the end of the challenge, Demaris walks in! I can only imagine the fun she and Brian Boitano could have together with Valentine's Day, given her romance movie video from last season. She is excited to see all the men, which I can believe with her persona on the show. Demaris tells them that they have to sell themselves... Dom is getting nervous again as he goes into doing his video, so we will see how this ends. Lucky for Lenny, they get two takes and he gets to fix getting a little too personal in his story. Alex has realized that the Food Network execs aren't wanting him to be someone else, they just want him to be himself. However, he lists his ingredients yet again, at least in his first take. Brian Boitano wants to shock and he decides to go tacky by talking about how much money he makes on Valentine's Day. Eddie Football is ready to shine...or maybe not. He finishes his first take with 20 seconds left. Let's see if Dom can do better. He does start by rocking the Christmas sweater, but then he starts stuttering.
As we see a few minutes later, Dom's second take isn't much better, at least not until he starts cooking. Once he starts cooking, though, he starts to shine enough to stay alive. Eddie still has trouble connecting the main components of his dish to Halloween and looks to join Dom at the bottom. Brian Boitano does fairly well aside from not defining framboise or ganache. Alex and Lenny seems to be the winners here, but we will see what the judges say. They do not list anyone as being safe now that the group is this small, but it seems to be Dom's time to go. Bob and Susie agree, but Giada and Bobby are arguing for him to stay. They want Eddie to go, but Bob and Susie like him on camera much more than Dom. Giada emphasizes that it was not a unanimous decision, and Bobby breaks the bad news to Dom. When it comes down to it, Bob and Susie are the bosses.
Down to the final four, and we will see next week whether Eddie can turn it around in time.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Food Network Star 7/19/14
I'm more on top of things tonight, or at least not falling asleep, so we get this episode on time! As we left last time, Michelle was commenting on being the last woman standing, and that's how we begin this episode. Honey, if you can't do better than last week, you won't be standing much longer once Dom and Alex fall.
Giada starts by asking the contestants what they like for breakfast/brunch. I'm sure there are men watching all across the country who would kill to have Giada asking what they want for breakfast! Unfortunately for them, it's just a precursor to the challenge, where they have to make breakfast in 20 minutes that can be taken to go, so no utensils. Cut out to Brian Boitano saying, "I get it, I'm a busy soccer mom..." Is that your persona? I guess there are people who may like that, but I don't usually think of a soccer mom look when I think of a drag queen. Granted, I can't say I've been to many drag shows lately (okay, ever), so there's a lot I don't know about drag queens, but still.
This challenge does at least play to Alex's strengths, but we'll see what the others do. Football Eddie is crusting a steak in uncooked grits. We'll see how that works. I don't usually just pick up a steak and eat it unless I'm at Renn Fest. Lenny Jr. puts his andouille hash into a taco shell, Brian Boitano turns his hash into a wrap filling and Michelle makes her quiches mini so they can be hand held. Dom wants us to eat a poached egg in the car, because everyone wants to go into an important meeting at work with egg yolk streaking their shirt. He tells Bobby to poke it first, which sounds more like what he'd like to do to Giada.
Brian Boitano starts his presentation by saying he cooks with a lot of boys who love bacon. That's just too easy. He also says the ladies love it, which I didn't know he cared about. Mama Michelle starts thinking about her kids and gets sidetracked enough to start babbling. To hear her talk, she picks her kids up from school on Sundays and then sips mimosas with them. To top off her stellar performance, she forgot to salt her quiches. So your food was as bland as your presentation last week. Not a winning strategy. Good thing you already got to be the last girl, because that seems to be the last thing you'll be known for. Sandwich King made a sandwich that you can't pick up and eat and made chipped beef with fresh chorizo that Giada compares to baby food. Hmmmmm, maybe I should start making Patrick some baby food with chorizo! His presentation is heartfelt, but that won't save him for long. Eddie Football scores big with his presentation but fumbles his food as the grits get lost. Lenny's tacos earn him the win and the as-yet-unnamed advantage in the next challenge.
Richard Blais comes in to introduce a food truck throwdown, and Dom knows he's come home. The contestants are divided into three teams and Lenny gets to choose the theme for each team between burgers, tacos, and grilled cheese. They also get to create a side dish. Oh, and they get to make a video to draw people in. Do we get to see Lenny Jr. as a monster like Lenny Sr.? Dom says he does social media all the time to advertise his food truck. How does he manage the spotlight for that?? Brian Boitano and Lenny have burgers, Alex and Dom have tacos, and Eddie and Michelle have grilled cheese. Brian Boitano and Lenny decide to call theirs Asian Cajun Burger Boys. Stick it between the buns? Alex wants to get into some slapstick comedy with their video and truck name. We might as well just ask right now which one of them is going home.
Brian Boitano and Lenny Jr. are making their video, and Brian Boitano says they are alike because they both like meat and buns. Then Lenny is gesturing about how big he can take it and saying he's going to bring that Cajun flavor between his buns. Burns going in, burns coming out? Brian Boitano said he wants to eat Lenny's. Does he just see a bear? Good thing they have two more takes! Or is it? The second take is flubbed badly. We don't see the third take, so I guess that's the one they use in the end.
Eddie and Michelle start their first take with Michelle doing her version of the White Man's Overbite while Eddie looks on in the horror of a man who looks like he has some rhythm. Michelle keeps dancing in the second take while also saying "cheesy weesy," which sounds like she either needs an inhaler or has her kids on the mind again. We don't see their third take either.
Alex and Dom have three takes to slap each other and eat a tortilla-wrapped jalapeno. Again, burns going in, burns coming out? I don't want to be standing behind them in an hour!
While they're cooking, Michelle is distracted by her kids again. Lenny is worried about the time to cook that many burgers. Well, he was warned. Brian Boitano is making his buns out of ramen noodles, and they have to sit for 20 minutes before they can be grilled. I'm just waiting for them to lose customers to people with shorter lines.
We see the videos now, and the Burger Boys took the sex out of their video. Michelle keeps dancing through take three and ends with a move that makes you think she's waving a thong around her hand. The judges say her soup needs to kick butt in order to not boring. The Slapstick Boys actually did end up with a video that had Giada and Bobby cracking up enough to make Giada lean forward and show even more cleavage...they might be the winners on the video side after all.
Customers! The Burger Boys have a crowd and no burgers lined up. Unfortunately for Eddie and Michelle, her soup is awful. Dom and Alex are looking safer and safer all the time. Or they were. By the time the judges get there they have no customers and Alex's sausage taco is all burnt. Brian Boitano's ramen noodle bun is a surprise hit, and Richard Blais thinks the burger customers will be the most satisfied despite the wait.
During judgment, Michelle tells the judges that her mind is with her kids. Giada replies that she's a mom too and that it's hard, but that they only want people who really want to be in it. She adds that some people don't realize how hard it is until they're in there doing it. Amy from Season 3, anyone?
The Burger Boys pulled out the win despite the wait. They are the only ones safe, as Giada points out that at this point there are only winners and losers. Alex and Michelle are at the most risk, but I think Michelle will go home. Giada is poised to send Alex home until Michelle interrupts her and quits. Giada gives her a yes/no/cancel, but she goes through with it. And she was so proud to be the last woman standing. As Mike says, she's been in over her head for weeks, but still. Giada and Bobby talk about it and decide to let Alex stay. Eddie Football is competitive enough to not want an asterisk on his win. He needs to bring the flavor from here on out if he wants that to even be a consideration. So Dom and Alex are safe for another week, Alex by the skin of his teeth.
Giada starts by asking the contestants what they like for breakfast/brunch. I'm sure there are men watching all across the country who would kill to have Giada asking what they want for breakfast! Unfortunately for them, it's just a precursor to the challenge, where they have to make breakfast in 20 minutes that can be taken to go, so no utensils. Cut out to Brian Boitano saying, "I get it, I'm a busy soccer mom..." Is that your persona? I guess there are people who may like that, but I don't usually think of a soccer mom look when I think of a drag queen. Granted, I can't say I've been to many drag shows lately (okay, ever), so there's a lot I don't know about drag queens, but still.
This challenge does at least play to Alex's strengths, but we'll see what the others do. Football Eddie is crusting a steak in uncooked grits. We'll see how that works. I don't usually just pick up a steak and eat it unless I'm at Renn Fest. Lenny Jr. puts his andouille hash into a taco shell, Brian Boitano turns his hash into a wrap filling and Michelle makes her quiches mini so they can be hand held. Dom wants us to eat a poached egg in the car, because everyone wants to go into an important meeting at work with egg yolk streaking their shirt. He tells Bobby to poke it first, which sounds more like what he'd like to do to Giada.
Brian Boitano starts his presentation by saying he cooks with a lot of boys who love bacon. That's just too easy. He also says the ladies love it, which I didn't know he cared about. Mama Michelle starts thinking about her kids and gets sidetracked enough to start babbling. To hear her talk, she picks her kids up from school on Sundays and then sips mimosas with them. To top off her stellar performance, she forgot to salt her quiches. So your food was as bland as your presentation last week. Not a winning strategy. Good thing you already got to be the last girl, because that seems to be the last thing you'll be known for. Sandwich King made a sandwich that you can't pick up and eat and made chipped beef with fresh chorizo that Giada compares to baby food. Hmmmmm, maybe I should start making Patrick some baby food with chorizo! His presentation is heartfelt, but that won't save him for long. Eddie Football scores big with his presentation but fumbles his food as the grits get lost. Lenny's tacos earn him the win and the as-yet-unnamed advantage in the next challenge.
Richard Blais comes in to introduce a food truck throwdown, and Dom knows he's come home. The contestants are divided into three teams and Lenny gets to choose the theme for each team between burgers, tacos, and grilled cheese. They also get to create a side dish. Oh, and they get to make a video to draw people in. Do we get to see Lenny Jr. as a monster like Lenny Sr.? Dom says he does social media all the time to advertise his food truck. How does he manage the spotlight for that?? Brian Boitano and Lenny have burgers, Alex and Dom have tacos, and Eddie and Michelle have grilled cheese. Brian Boitano and Lenny decide to call theirs Asian Cajun Burger Boys. Stick it between the buns? Alex wants to get into some slapstick comedy with their video and truck name. We might as well just ask right now which one of them is going home.
Brian Boitano and Lenny Jr. are making their video, and Brian Boitano says they are alike because they both like meat and buns. Then Lenny is gesturing about how big he can take it and saying he's going to bring that Cajun flavor between his buns. Burns going in, burns coming out? Brian Boitano said he wants to eat Lenny's. Does he just see a bear? Good thing they have two more takes! Or is it? The second take is flubbed badly. We don't see the third take, so I guess that's the one they use in the end.
Eddie and Michelle start their first take with Michelle doing her version of the White Man's Overbite while Eddie looks on in the horror of a man who looks like he has some rhythm. Michelle keeps dancing in the second take while also saying "cheesy weesy," which sounds like she either needs an inhaler or has her kids on the mind again. We don't see their third take either.
Alex and Dom have three takes to slap each other and eat a tortilla-wrapped jalapeno. Again, burns going in, burns coming out? I don't want to be standing behind them in an hour!
While they're cooking, Michelle is distracted by her kids again. Lenny is worried about the time to cook that many burgers. Well, he was warned. Brian Boitano is making his buns out of ramen noodles, and they have to sit for 20 minutes before they can be grilled. I'm just waiting for them to lose customers to people with shorter lines.
We see the videos now, and the Burger Boys took the sex out of their video. Michelle keeps dancing through take three and ends with a move that makes you think she's waving a thong around her hand. The judges say her soup needs to kick butt in order to not boring. The Slapstick Boys actually did end up with a video that had Giada and Bobby cracking up enough to make Giada lean forward and show even more cleavage...they might be the winners on the video side after all.
Customers! The Burger Boys have a crowd and no burgers lined up. Unfortunately for Eddie and Michelle, her soup is awful. Dom and Alex are looking safer and safer all the time. Or they were. By the time the judges get there they have no customers and Alex's sausage taco is all burnt. Brian Boitano's ramen noodle bun is a surprise hit, and Richard Blais thinks the burger customers will be the most satisfied despite the wait.
During judgment, Michelle tells the judges that her mind is with her kids. Giada replies that she's a mom too and that it's hard, but that they only want people who really want to be in it. She adds that some people don't realize how hard it is until they're in there doing it. Amy from Season 3, anyone?
The Burger Boys pulled out the win despite the wait. They are the only ones safe, as Giada points out that at this point there are only winners and losers. Alex and Michelle are at the most risk, but I think Michelle will go home. Giada is poised to send Alex home until Michelle interrupts her and quits. Giada gives her a yes/no/cancel, but she goes through with it. And she was so proud to be the last woman standing. As Mike says, she's been in over her head for weeks, but still. Giada and Bobby talk about it and decide to let Alex stay. Eddie Football is competitive enough to not want an asterisk on his win. He needs to bring the flavor from here on out if he wants that to even be a consideration. So Dom and Alex are safe for another week, Alex by the skin of his teeth.
Food Network Star 7/12/15
I'm still less than a week late for Improv Madness. It's sad that that's the best I can manage, but I'll take what I can get right now. We saw a commercial last night for FNS Redemption, and that reminds me to still hold out hope that Rue will come back.
Armenian Mama and Dom say they're going to put last week behind them, and Dom says he's going to do something this week that plays to his strengths. Mike comments that this plan basically limits him to mime.
Ooh, Duff comes to town!!! Oh, yeah, and there's some bigwig with CiCi's Pizza as they get to make pizzas. But Duff is here!!
Brian Boitano thinks that bold, kicked up flavors will be easy for him. Yeah, cause that's what he's been giving us for the last few weeks while he keeps getting saved from elimination by other people being worse than him. The CiCi's guy says that the winning pizza will be on their menu for a limited time. Mike comments that we'll get stuck with it whenever we go, but luckily for us, we never go there! Stevi B's is looking better and better all the time. Mike paused the show while I wrote this, and we get a freeze frame after the clock starts where Emilia is the only one still standing there while everyone else is running for the pantry. There's a winning strategy right there, sweetie.
Dom is putting sausage and pickle relish on his pizza. He does realize that this is pizza and not a hot dog, right? Alex is seeing a pizza as an open-face sandwich, which is an interesting take on it. Too bad he's putting eggplant on it, which is nothing more than a canvas for other flavors unless you're making baba ghanoush. Brian Boitano is making veggie samosa pizza. Uh, come again? Wait, and Emilia is too?? Did they both get off at the same stop on the Crazy Train? They stayed on a station longer than Eddie Football and Lenny Jr, who are both making fruit pizzas. Lenny, however, can't get his cooked through.
Stage Fright Dom is stage frighty again about presenting on camera. Maybe we can get some black and white clothes and makeup for him after all. Lenny knows his pizza is raw, but he does rock the presentation. Brian Boitano also gets stage frighty and starts babbling, but taking a bite puts him back on track and his pizza is good. Harissa has become the It Ingredient du jour, as 2 contestants out of 3 have used it so far. Sandwich King forgets to mention sandwiches, and his crust is raw as well. Emilia sounds like she's presenting to first graders. Both samosa pizzas get raves on flavor, though, so what do I know? Armenian Mama ends up with dead air and nothing special on the plate. Eddie's dessert pizza is fully cooked, and he pulls the brand into his presentation, making him the winner.
For Improv Madness, the contestants get to choose their fellow contestants' dishes based on protein, unlikely ingredient, time of day, and color. Alex gets chicken livers and caramel...that could either make them finally edible or make them something for Fear Factor. The contestants get 45 minutes to cook and then have a 4-minute demo. Ohhhh, the first demo makes the snark so easy! Dom continues to whine about being on camera. Did anyone tell him this contest is to have a tv show?
Bob and Susie are back for the demos, which also include improving a story and an expert tip. Wow, good thing they have 4 minutes! Sandwich King needs bleeping...there's a good way to impress Bob and Susie. Eddie Football looks like a winner again, and Bobby wants to put his salt-and-vinegar chip-crusted fried quail on his menu. Armenian Mama is like cream of wheat, smooth but bland. Emilia starts out well, but then she starts trashing everyone else in a way that moves over the line from funny to offensive. Did she miss the lesson given to others about working with other people? I don't think her reception is going to be very warm back in the green room or in the judging room. Dom gets to go right after her, just to make his stage fright even worse! He actually shines for the first minute, though, before running out of material and having to be a stand-up comic for three more minutes. He's still chewing his duck, too...apparently he missed the lesson about talking with your mouth full. Lenny Jr. shines again, including making fun of his own seized-up gumbo from earlier in the season when he had to talk about a dish done wrong. See, Emilia, that's how you're supposed to make fun of the show experience on camera! At this point, he and Eddie are the front-runners in my book.
As the contestants talk in the green room, Alex talks about how hard it is to come up with a story to tell on camera. Lenny knows his stuff, though, telling Alex that if they can't connect with the viewer, the viewer will change the channel. Bob points out at the beginning of judgment that this is midterm evaluation time. Eddie Football and Lenny Jr. are at the top, with Lenny pulling out the win. Michelle and Brian Boitano are safe as well...apparently bland is enough for Michelle this week. That puts Dom, Alex, and Emilia at the bottom. I think Alex is safe out of that group, but he got the lowest rating from the audience. Emilia apologizes to the judges for her meanness, but where is the apology to her fellow contestants? While the judges are deciding, she's in the green room disagreeing with them while wearing a shirt that says "Break the Rules." They don't even play with saying a name and saying they get to stay, they just tell Emilia she's gone. Giada at least pretends regret, but that is so clearly #sorrynotsorry. Dom and Alex are hanging on by a thread, though, and one of them would have left if Emilia wasn't so mean, so let's see which one of them can pull it up just enough next week to stay alive. Armenian Mama is the last lady standing, which also paints a target on her back, as the boys make clear during the credits.
Armenian Mama and Dom say they're going to put last week behind them, and Dom says he's going to do something this week that plays to his strengths. Mike comments that this plan basically limits him to mime.
Ooh, Duff comes to town!!! Oh, yeah, and there's some bigwig with CiCi's Pizza as they get to make pizzas. But Duff is here!!
Brian Boitano thinks that bold, kicked up flavors will be easy for him. Yeah, cause that's what he's been giving us for the last few weeks while he keeps getting saved from elimination by other people being worse than him. The CiCi's guy says that the winning pizza will be on their menu for a limited time. Mike comments that we'll get stuck with it whenever we go, but luckily for us, we never go there! Stevi B's is looking better and better all the time. Mike paused the show while I wrote this, and we get a freeze frame after the clock starts where Emilia is the only one still standing there while everyone else is running for the pantry. There's a winning strategy right there, sweetie.
Dom is putting sausage and pickle relish on his pizza. He does realize that this is pizza and not a hot dog, right? Alex is seeing a pizza as an open-face sandwich, which is an interesting take on it. Too bad he's putting eggplant on it, which is nothing more than a canvas for other flavors unless you're making baba ghanoush. Brian Boitano is making veggie samosa pizza. Uh, come again? Wait, and Emilia is too?? Did they both get off at the same stop on the Crazy Train? They stayed on a station longer than Eddie Football and Lenny Jr, who are both making fruit pizzas. Lenny, however, can't get his cooked through.
Stage Fright Dom is stage frighty again about presenting on camera. Maybe we can get some black and white clothes and makeup for him after all. Lenny knows his pizza is raw, but he does rock the presentation. Brian Boitano also gets stage frighty and starts babbling, but taking a bite puts him back on track and his pizza is good. Harissa has become the It Ingredient du jour, as 2 contestants out of 3 have used it so far. Sandwich King forgets to mention sandwiches, and his crust is raw as well. Emilia sounds like she's presenting to first graders. Both samosa pizzas get raves on flavor, though, so what do I know? Armenian Mama ends up with dead air and nothing special on the plate. Eddie's dessert pizza is fully cooked, and he pulls the brand into his presentation, making him the winner.
For Improv Madness, the contestants get to choose their fellow contestants' dishes based on protein, unlikely ingredient, time of day, and color. Alex gets chicken livers and caramel...that could either make them finally edible or make them something for Fear Factor. The contestants get 45 minutes to cook and then have a 4-minute demo. Ohhhh, the first demo makes the snark so easy! Dom continues to whine about being on camera. Did anyone tell him this contest is to have a tv show?
Bob and Susie are back for the demos, which also include improving a story and an expert tip. Wow, good thing they have 4 minutes! Sandwich King needs bleeping...there's a good way to impress Bob and Susie. Eddie Football looks like a winner again, and Bobby wants to put his salt-and-vinegar chip-crusted fried quail on his menu. Armenian Mama is like cream of wheat, smooth but bland. Emilia starts out well, but then she starts trashing everyone else in a way that moves over the line from funny to offensive. Did she miss the lesson given to others about working with other people? I don't think her reception is going to be very warm back in the green room or in the judging room. Dom gets to go right after her, just to make his stage fright even worse! He actually shines for the first minute, though, before running out of material and having to be a stand-up comic for three more minutes. He's still chewing his duck, too...apparently he missed the lesson about talking with your mouth full. Lenny Jr. shines again, including making fun of his own seized-up gumbo from earlier in the season when he had to talk about a dish done wrong. See, Emilia, that's how you're supposed to make fun of the show experience on camera! At this point, he and Eddie are the front-runners in my book.
As the contestants talk in the green room, Alex talks about how hard it is to come up with a story to tell on camera. Lenny knows his stuff, though, telling Alex that if they can't connect with the viewer, the viewer will change the channel. Bob points out at the beginning of judgment that this is midterm evaluation time. Eddie Football and Lenny Jr. are at the top, with Lenny pulling out the win. Michelle and Brian Boitano are safe as well...apparently bland is enough for Michelle this week. That puts Dom, Alex, and Emilia at the bottom. I think Alex is safe out of that group, but he got the lowest rating from the audience. Emilia apologizes to the judges for her meanness, but where is the apology to her fellow contestants? While the judges are deciding, she's in the green room disagreeing with them while wearing a shirt that says "Break the Rules." They don't even play with saying a name and saying they get to stay, they just tell Emilia she's gone. Giada at least pretends regret, but that is so clearly #sorrynotsorry. Dom and Alex are hanging on by a thread, though, and one of them would have left if Emilia wasn't so mean, so let's see which one of them can pull it up just enough next week to stay alive. Armenian Mama is the last lady standing, which also paints a target on her back, as the boys make clear during the credits.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Food Network Star - 7/5/15
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, but I was still sleeping off the Fourth...or falling asleep too early after work each night, but the other sounded cooler. Let's see if the contestants' lives are more interesting than my own.
Ooh, is it time for the Chopped challenge? No, everyone has something different, all their favorite ingredients. Lenny Jr. says he's licking his chops for the venison on his board, but it looks more like he's licking his lips over Giada's cheerleader outfit (which Mike keeps rewinding to see). Speaking of boobies, Dom says that ricotta is mother's milk to him. When was Patrick going to tell us that it tastes like ricotta??? Eddie Football knows habaneros like the back of his hand...just don't rub that back of the hand across your eyes, buddy.
Uh oh, now they have to switch ingredients with someone else. Eddie gets Michelle's grape leaves and wonders what a Southern boy can do with that, while I'm wondering how they would taste cooked up like collards. I'd try it some time to see if I didn't hate collards! Rue just got Lenny's venison when it seems from her cooking like they don't have meat anywhere in South Africa. At least Lenny gets a protein in Rue's fish. Eddie Football thinks the same way I do, using them instead of collards in a sausage soup. Ok, maybe I will try it that way, I like kale in soups like the one at Olive Garden. Rue is going to a deconstructed pot roast with Lenny's gorgeous venison. In other words she's going to overcook the hell out of it and then scatter it around on the plate with a few other things? Michelle uses habaneros to overpower her shrimp. Brian Boitano switched from shrimp to scallops because it's ok if they're a little raw. I guess that's one way to learn from your mistakes? Dom has five spice and wants to make a dish like one he used to get on the way to see his grandmother in Flushing Queens. All I know about Flushing Queens comes from watching The Nanny as a kid, but Mike says it's a heavily Asian area, so that might work out well. Alex is going to use ricotta to make cucumber tea sandwiches...maybe he can have a tea party with a group of 5-year-old girls afterwards?
Michelle's plate looks beautiful, but we'll see how hot it is. The judges tell them to switch plates again and then cut to commercial before telling us why. Maybe they have to taste and describe the other dishes like they're doing a tasting on camera? Bingo! They do get to be a little critical, though, like they're on Chopped instead of like they're having to play up someone's dish on another show. Michelle actually doesn't have enough heat to her dish. Michelle did a better job than Eddie in describing, which makes sense since she's a food blogger. Emilia is kinda harsh in her description, but the judges agree with her about the scallops needing more of a sear on them. Brian Boitano wants to eat the whole meal before speaking, and then he gets slammed for saying there's too much salt when there isn't and for not being descriptive enough. Dom wants to know if Sandwich King II treated his ricotta with tender loving care. We don't need to know what you do in your bedroom with your mother's milk, hon. Alex doesn't see Dom crushing tea sandwiches with his boys on Staten Island. We'll see if they both manage to out-feminize Brian Boitano during this segment. Now Dom is comparing ricotta and lemon to PB&J. Wow, Mr. Asian Cuisine Sandwich King can't name the five spices in Five Spice, and in Giada's reaction we see what looks like the exact opposite of her O-face. I can at least name more than half of them! Now let's see how Rue did on her venison. It's not overcooked!! Lenny thinks she did justice to the animal and was effective at describing what venison actually is. Rue described Lenny as having "attempted" to grill the fish, and she was eloquent in describing what the fish should be and why it wasn't that way. As we thought, Rue won for the first time!
The judges have an experiment to try to help discern their cooking styles. Brian Boitano wants the experimenting to stop as he says, "Let me do me!" He seems more like he wants to be doing others, but hey. The judges think they have pairs that can work together well. Eddie Football/Mckayla is not impressed. Time for the coupling up! Giada thinks Brian Boitano will be "fabulous" with Michelle, who Brian does NOT want to work with. Rue's reward for winning the last challenge is that she gets to switch her pairing. She got Dom but wanted Brian Boitano, so now Dom is paired with Michelle. And you can see how thrilled he is. You know, it's pretty bad when even Mr. Stage Fright doesn't want to be paired with you!
The pairs have to make a meal for Match.com that pulls their POVs into one cohesive dish. Eddie Football and the Sandwich King are meshing like peanut butter and jelly as they make a jerk chicken banh mi. Lenny and Emilia make a Cajun pork loin over polenta. Rue and Brian Boitano make an African and Asian surf and turf while Brian Boitano worries that Rue can't bring the spice. Michelle can't seem to do anything except snipe at Dom, who feels the need to supervise her every step of the way. Will she screw up anyway, or will he screw his own up in parenting her? Michelle calls this "The Dom Show, and I'm the dumb sidekick." Finally, some self-awareness!
Lenny and Emilia are plating and Emilia wants Lenny to get a lot of that pork sauce on the plate. Um, why is it yellow then? Emilia says the sauce is where the spice is... They don't get the sauce onto the plate, and the Brussels sprouts seem lacking on some. Their presentation is a hit, but the food? Eddie Football makes sure to talk first, and their presentation and dish show their bromance has staying power. Rue and Brian Boitano wait until service time to cook so that their meat isn't overcooked, but we'll see if the diners are ready for the Hunger Games. They do get the plates created but have no time to coordinate their presentation. Couldn't they have been doing that while they weren't cooking earlier? Their food is raw and touch at the same time and under-seasoned to boot. Michelle takes charge of the presentation since Dom took lead on the food because of Dom's stage friend. Dom doesn't like that, since the first thing he says criticizes marriage in general to a bunch of people wanting to get married. There's a winning play right there, babe. And Michelle doesn't know why he's upset. Dom's risotto is overcooked while Michelle's shrimp worked. Michelle and Dom are fighting like Kramer v. Kramer until Michelle walks off the set. Dom feels remorse and Drama Mama comes back to fight another round.
And fight she does until she is shut down by Anne Burrell telling her to put her Big Girl Panties on and deal with the hand she is dealt. Brian Boitano was wiping away tears at being told their dish has no flavor. He is safe, though. As is Dom, surprisingly, although he is on notice. I think Drama Mama's going, since Rue is so unique. And I'm wrong, very disappointingly. I really wanted to watch and cook from her show. I'm so disappointed I can't even make fun of her mascara running on camera.
Hopefully I'm happier after Sunday's judgment, and I will try to post it sooner!
Ooh, is it time for the Chopped challenge? No, everyone has something different, all their favorite ingredients. Lenny Jr. says he's licking his chops for the venison on his board, but it looks more like he's licking his lips over Giada's cheerleader outfit (which Mike keeps rewinding to see). Speaking of boobies, Dom says that ricotta is mother's milk to him. When was Patrick going to tell us that it tastes like ricotta??? Eddie Football knows habaneros like the back of his hand...just don't rub that back of the hand across your eyes, buddy.
Uh oh, now they have to switch ingredients with someone else. Eddie gets Michelle's grape leaves and wonders what a Southern boy can do with that, while I'm wondering how they would taste cooked up like collards. I'd try it some time to see if I didn't hate collards! Rue just got Lenny's venison when it seems from her cooking like they don't have meat anywhere in South Africa. At least Lenny gets a protein in Rue's fish. Eddie Football thinks the same way I do, using them instead of collards in a sausage soup. Ok, maybe I will try it that way, I like kale in soups like the one at Olive Garden. Rue is going to a deconstructed pot roast with Lenny's gorgeous venison. In other words she's going to overcook the hell out of it and then scatter it around on the plate with a few other things? Michelle uses habaneros to overpower her shrimp. Brian Boitano switched from shrimp to scallops because it's ok if they're a little raw. I guess that's one way to learn from your mistakes? Dom has five spice and wants to make a dish like one he used to get on the way to see his grandmother in Flushing Queens. All I know about Flushing Queens comes from watching The Nanny as a kid, but Mike says it's a heavily Asian area, so that might work out well. Alex is going to use ricotta to make cucumber tea sandwiches...maybe he can have a tea party with a group of 5-year-old girls afterwards?
Michelle's plate looks beautiful, but we'll see how hot it is. The judges tell them to switch plates again and then cut to commercial before telling us why. Maybe they have to taste and describe the other dishes like they're doing a tasting on camera? Bingo! They do get to be a little critical, though, like they're on Chopped instead of like they're having to play up someone's dish on another show. Michelle actually doesn't have enough heat to her dish. Michelle did a better job than Eddie in describing, which makes sense since she's a food blogger. Emilia is kinda harsh in her description, but the judges agree with her about the scallops needing more of a sear on them. Brian Boitano wants to eat the whole meal before speaking, and then he gets slammed for saying there's too much salt when there isn't and for not being descriptive enough. Dom wants to know if Sandwich King II treated his ricotta with tender loving care. We don't need to know what you do in your bedroom with your mother's milk, hon. Alex doesn't see Dom crushing tea sandwiches with his boys on Staten Island. We'll see if they both manage to out-feminize Brian Boitano during this segment. Now Dom is comparing ricotta and lemon to PB&J. Wow, Mr. Asian Cuisine Sandwich King can't name the five spices in Five Spice, and in Giada's reaction we see what looks like the exact opposite of her O-face. I can at least name more than half of them! Now let's see how Rue did on her venison. It's not overcooked!! Lenny thinks she did justice to the animal and was effective at describing what venison actually is. Rue described Lenny as having "attempted" to grill the fish, and she was eloquent in describing what the fish should be and why it wasn't that way. As we thought, Rue won for the first time!
The judges have an experiment to try to help discern their cooking styles. Brian Boitano wants the experimenting to stop as he says, "Let me do me!" He seems more like he wants to be doing others, but hey. The judges think they have pairs that can work together well. Eddie Football/Mckayla is not impressed. Time for the coupling up! Giada thinks Brian Boitano will be "fabulous" with Michelle, who Brian does NOT want to work with. Rue's reward for winning the last challenge is that she gets to switch her pairing. She got Dom but wanted Brian Boitano, so now Dom is paired with Michelle. And you can see how thrilled he is. You know, it's pretty bad when even Mr. Stage Fright doesn't want to be paired with you!
The pairs have to make a meal for Match.com that pulls their POVs into one cohesive dish. Eddie Football and the Sandwich King are meshing like peanut butter and jelly as they make a jerk chicken banh mi. Lenny and Emilia make a Cajun pork loin over polenta. Rue and Brian Boitano make an African and Asian surf and turf while Brian Boitano worries that Rue can't bring the spice. Michelle can't seem to do anything except snipe at Dom, who feels the need to supervise her every step of the way. Will she screw up anyway, or will he screw his own up in parenting her? Michelle calls this "The Dom Show, and I'm the dumb sidekick." Finally, some self-awareness!
Lenny and Emilia are plating and Emilia wants Lenny to get a lot of that pork sauce on the plate. Um, why is it yellow then? Emilia says the sauce is where the spice is... They don't get the sauce onto the plate, and the Brussels sprouts seem lacking on some. Their presentation is a hit, but the food? Eddie Football makes sure to talk first, and their presentation and dish show their bromance has staying power. Rue and Brian Boitano wait until service time to cook so that their meat isn't overcooked, but we'll see if the diners are ready for the Hunger Games. They do get the plates created but have no time to coordinate their presentation. Couldn't they have been doing that while they weren't cooking earlier? Their food is raw and touch at the same time and under-seasoned to boot. Michelle takes charge of the presentation since Dom took lead on the food because of Dom's stage friend. Dom doesn't like that, since the first thing he says criticizes marriage in general to a bunch of people wanting to get married. There's a winning play right there, babe. And Michelle doesn't know why he's upset. Dom's risotto is overcooked while Michelle's shrimp worked. Michelle and Dom are fighting like Kramer v. Kramer until Michelle walks off the set. Dom feels remorse and Drama Mama comes back to fight another round.
And fight she does until she is shut down by Anne Burrell telling her to put her Big Girl Panties on and deal with the hand she is dealt. Brian Boitano was wiping away tears at being told their dish has no flavor. He is safe, though. As is Dom, surprisingly, although he is on notice. I think Drama Mama's going, since Rue is so unique. And I'm wrong, very disappointingly. I really wanted to watch and cook from her show. I'm so disappointed I can't even make fun of her mascara running on camera.
Hopefully I'm happier after Sunday's judgment, and I will try to post it sooner!
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