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Is this just in my Teenage Dream(s), or did Last Friday Night include a lot of butter, y'all? Again... you be the judge.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
You Be The Judge...
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Is this just in my Teenage Dream(s), or did Last Friday Night include a lot of butter, y'all? Again... you be the judge.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Worst Cooks in America - 2/19/12
Our competitors awaken to find a big fortune cookie on their table telling them to go to Chinatown. Dave points out that the music during the trip is a riff on "Turning Japanese." Serena points out that she's not going to be able to do this just because she's Asian, and Dave wonders whether Serena will start throwing around soy sauce and garlic like Debbie Lee. Anne informs the contestants that they will be making noodles from scratch. They do at least get to avoid some steps in the process, but they will be pulling the dough into noodles. I have a strong feeling that at least half the contestants will not flour their noodles enough to keep them separated. I'm not sure I would want to try that, especially not as a beginning cook.
The chefs teach knife skills, and Bobby opens a cat food can of red curry paste. I use red curry paste all the time, but my curry paste comes in a jar, thank you! Anne teaches smashing garlic, and Dave predicts that someone will end up hurting themselves. I'm more worried about fingers in the julienne cut on the carrots. The noodle-pulling begins, and Serena is the first to end up with a gloppy mess. Tiff is good enough at pulling noodles for Bobby to ask her during evaluation if she has done this before.
Erica, it's not toofoo, and it's not supposed to melt! Bobby just said it's supposed to heat through. Sherrill decides to skimp on the curry paste, but Serena uses the extra in her dish. Bobby tells Sherrill she's a very confident cook, and she replies that she cooks at home. Yes, honey, but you're on this show for a reason! Anthony describes his noodles as a fat kid and a skinny kid getting into a fight and leaving their fingers in a bowl. Bob turns his frown upside down and makes Anne smile as well with his consistent knife cuts. Rachel thinks Anne is giving her tough love...honey, that wasn't tough love, she was being really nice to you! As I typed this, though, I kept having the Freudian typo of "touch love"...well, now! Vinnie wins for the blue team, and Sherrill loses. Bob wins for the red team, and Rachel loses.
The theme of the main dish is comfort foods around the globe, with meatballs. Bobby comes perilously close to quoting Babylon 5 with his comment that every culture has a meatball. Trust me, that was Dave that noticed that and not me!! Uh oh, Anne and Bobby are teaching them to assemble the meat grinder? That's dangerous with this crowd. Tiffany is grossed out by what meat looks like raw. Dorothy wins brownie points for being able to correctly answer the question of why an egg is added to the mix. Bobby's making the meatballs small...how much you wanna bet that someone makes giganto balls that end up raw in the middle? And with his being pork... Anne talks about searing the meatballs before adding chicken stock to cook in order to avoid soggy, sad, limp-looking balls while Dorothy snickers.
Each of the competitors gets a country, but no recipe. Fortunately, they do get a basket of ingredients appropriate to the country. Unfortunately, they're encouraged to taste test...before they've developed a sense of taste and palate. Dave's now taking bets on who will be the one with the raw meatballs. My money's on Anthony, since he's the one always rushing at the end. Erica can't figure out that it helps to take the top off of the food processor to remove the contents. Vinnie hopes that Rachel will make things easier for him by dropping the ball; Rachel can't even make the ball to be able to drop it! Aside from the hair, David keeps reminding me of Clay Aiken...I guess it shows that I watched Celebrity Apprentice last night. Sherrill says Sweden is safe and reminds her of the Alps and skiing, since it's part of Switzerland. You know, Tiff not knowing where Lebanon is doesn't surprise me, but not knowing that Sweden is a separate country?? Wow, Anthony's done early! OH, NO, Serena should not be given extra time!!! She decides to garnish her Spanish meatballs with something like $200 worth of saffron! Sherrill turns out to be the one with big balls, and Bobby hopes they're cooked. Dave is going nuts as he sees Sherrill's pink sauce, which he says looks like Pepto Bismol.
Time for tasting and evaluation. Erica wants to please the four flavors the tongue can experience, which apparently includes "crunchy." Anthony wins the Indian meatballs. Bobby listens to Serena describe her Spanish meatballs and decides as he's laughing that he's quitting all the rest of his jobs to just do this. Serena beats Bennet despite her waste of saffron. Both Sherrill and Bob have pink sauce, but it's actually lingonberry, so it isn't as frightening as it looks. Sherrill thinks she is getting a slap in the face from Bobby for him telling her that her tennis balls are raw. If you want a slap in the face for raw food, honey, try Gordon Ramsay! Dave points out that Sherrill is frequently wrong but never in doubt. Score one for Bob. Dave says that Rachel's meatballs looked sad...someone has to have sadplate now that Bob is no longer sadface. Vinnie does not look like he will go home on meatballs, so he will eventually be allowed back into Philly. Tiff and Melissa show their Lebanese meatballs; Melissa has no flavor, and Tiff wins. Dorothy and David have a close competition on Greece, but Dorothy wins. Kelli's goat cheese turns out to have been a better move than it looked at the time, adding flavor and moisture, and she beats Benjamin on France. Red team beats blue by one country, and we approach elimination.
Dave thinks it's not looking good for Rachel, and I think Sherrill's on the chopping block. Dorothy wins the day on the red team, and Vinnie on the blue team. Benjamin avoids being among the bottom two by a hair, leaving Erica and Sherrill hanging. Rachel and Bennet are on the bottom for the red. Anne foreshadows her choice by pointing out that Bennet has been showing improvement, and she does indeed send Rachel home. Erica and Sherrill are told they have very different problems, with Erica being a tornado in the kitchen, and Sherrill is reminded that she came here to learn new skills rather than to repeat what she had been doing. Sherrill is sent home, and she says that she'll continue cooking, you just watch. Oh, believe me, I'll be watching the headlines.
Next week we get Food Network Dance Party!
The chefs teach knife skills, and Bobby opens a cat food can of red curry paste. I use red curry paste all the time, but my curry paste comes in a jar, thank you! Anne teaches smashing garlic, and Dave predicts that someone will end up hurting themselves. I'm more worried about fingers in the julienne cut on the carrots. The noodle-pulling begins, and Serena is the first to end up with a gloppy mess. Tiff is good enough at pulling noodles for Bobby to ask her during evaluation if she has done this before.
Erica, it's not toofoo, and it's not supposed to melt! Bobby just said it's supposed to heat through. Sherrill decides to skimp on the curry paste, but Serena uses the extra in her dish. Bobby tells Sherrill she's a very confident cook, and she replies that she cooks at home. Yes, honey, but you're on this show for a reason! Anthony describes his noodles as a fat kid and a skinny kid getting into a fight and leaving their fingers in a bowl. Bob turns his frown upside down and makes Anne smile as well with his consistent knife cuts. Rachel thinks Anne is giving her tough love...honey, that wasn't tough love, she was being really nice to you! As I typed this, though, I kept having the Freudian typo of "touch love"...well, now! Vinnie wins for the blue team, and Sherrill loses. Bob wins for the red team, and Rachel loses.
The theme of the main dish is comfort foods around the globe, with meatballs. Bobby comes perilously close to quoting Babylon 5 with his comment that every culture has a meatball. Trust me, that was Dave that noticed that and not me!! Uh oh, Anne and Bobby are teaching them to assemble the meat grinder? That's dangerous with this crowd. Tiffany is grossed out by what meat looks like raw. Dorothy wins brownie points for being able to correctly answer the question of why an egg is added to the mix. Bobby's making the meatballs small...how much you wanna bet that someone makes giganto balls that end up raw in the middle? And with his being pork... Anne talks about searing the meatballs before adding chicken stock to cook in order to avoid soggy, sad, limp-looking balls while Dorothy snickers.
Each of the competitors gets a country, but no recipe. Fortunately, they do get a basket of ingredients appropriate to the country. Unfortunately, they're encouraged to taste test...before they've developed a sense of taste and palate. Dave's now taking bets on who will be the one with the raw meatballs. My money's on Anthony, since he's the one always rushing at the end. Erica can't figure out that it helps to take the top off of the food processor to remove the contents. Vinnie hopes that Rachel will make things easier for him by dropping the ball; Rachel can't even make the ball to be able to drop it! Aside from the hair, David keeps reminding me of Clay Aiken...I guess it shows that I watched Celebrity Apprentice last night. Sherrill says Sweden is safe and reminds her of the Alps and skiing, since it's part of Switzerland. You know, Tiff not knowing where Lebanon is doesn't surprise me, but not knowing that Sweden is a separate country?? Wow, Anthony's done early! OH, NO, Serena should not be given extra time!!! She decides to garnish her Spanish meatballs with something like $200 worth of saffron! Sherrill turns out to be the one with big balls, and Bobby hopes they're cooked. Dave is going nuts as he sees Sherrill's pink sauce, which he says looks like Pepto Bismol.
Time for tasting and evaluation. Erica wants to please the four flavors the tongue can experience, which apparently includes "crunchy." Anthony wins the Indian meatballs. Bobby listens to Serena describe her Spanish meatballs and decides as he's laughing that he's quitting all the rest of his jobs to just do this. Serena beats Bennet despite her waste of saffron. Both Sherrill and Bob have pink sauce, but it's actually lingonberry, so it isn't as frightening as it looks. Sherrill thinks she is getting a slap in the face from Bobby for him telling her that her tennis balls are raw. If you want a slap in the face for raw food, honey, try Gordon Ramsay! Dave points out that Sherrill is frequently wrong but never in doubt. Score one for Bob. Dave says that Rachel's meatballs looked sad...someone has to have sadplate now that Bob is no longer sadface. Vinnie does not look like he will go home on meatballs, so he will eventually be allowed back into Philly. Tiff and Melissa show their Lebanese meatballs; Melissa has no flavor, and Tiff wins. Dorothy and David have a close competition on Greece, but Dorothy wins. Kelli's goat cheese turns out to have been a better move than it looked at the time, adding flavor and moisture, and she beats Benjamin on France. Red team beats blue by one country, and we approach elimination.
Dave thinks it's not looking good for Rachel, and I think Sherrill's on the chopping block. Dorothy wins the day on the red team, and Vinnie on the blue team. Benjamin avoids being among the bottom two by a hair, leaving Erica and Sherrill hanging. Rachel and Bennet are on the bottom for the red. Anne foreshadows her choice by pointing out that Bennet has been showing improvement, and she does indeed send Rachel home. Erica and Sherrill are told they have very different problems, with Erica being a tornado in the kitchen, and Sherrill is reminded that she came here to learn new skills rather than to repeat what she had been doing. Sherrill is sent home, and she says that she'll continue cooking, you just watch. Oh, believe me, I'll be watching the headlines.
Next week we get Food Network Dance Party!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
...That Just Shouldn't Be Served!
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| Via: http://imgur.com/PRUOo |
The kicker? Someone actually found this comment helpful. Huh?
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sounds almost right...
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I think my personal corollary to this one is "OMG...I really want to eat there!". That may be an offshoot of how hungry I am, though.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Iron Chef America - Duff v. Symon
As I finish snarking Worst Cooks in America, Iron Chef America comes on (in a rerun) with Chef Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes and I comment that I'd love to see him take on Mike Symon. The time comes to choose an Iron Chef to challenge, and Duff says that he wants to challenge the man who took his laugh, his haircut, and his love of bacon, his doppelganger, Mike Symon. Ok, I have to snark this! Secret ingredient: 2 ingredients, this time, chilis and chocolate.
Duff says he's going to show he can cook by cooking classics and making them awesome. Symon pretends to be surprised about being described as bald as he rubs pork with cocoa powder and has one of his sous chefs making chocolate pasta. Ooh, chocolate stout going into a dutch oven on the Iron Chef side. Symon goes up to the judging table to pour champagne for the judges, and a friend comments on FB that they need to show more closeups of Nigella.
Duff complains about Symon not telling him that the sheet pans don't fit in the oven, and Symon laughs and tells him where the half sheet pans are. Yay, sportsmanship! Duff is playing with meringue, and now I want to try chili meringues instead of peppermint ones. Even without Bobby Flay being on the floor, who will be the first to make a mojo with the theme ingredients? Duff uses a drill to excavate serrano peppers and I get more ideas. Dave and I used to joke that if we were on Next Food Network Star back when they allowed pairs compete together, our theme would be bringing the garage into the kitchen, using various tools in cooking. Symon moans as he cuts into pork belly. Just don't light a cigarette around those gas implements!
Alton has gotten to the point of yelling to Duff's peanut gallery to shut up with the cheering and noisemakers. I love Duff's look of mock surprise as Alton predicts what he's planning to do with his tuille batter/dough. Ooh, poblanos and triple sec, I can see that being really good. Duff's cheering section has taken the foam finger idea one step further with an inflatable finger.
In one of the commercials, we see Jeff Mauro talking about visiting other chefs and then using what they do as inspiration to make new sandwiches. I like that, since I still kinda wondered how sustainable the Sandwich King idea was.
Turns out Mike Symon is the first to do a mole, with his moan-worthy pork belly. Dried cacao pods as a serving vessel for the lobster dish almost as a play on Lobster Thermidor, I like it. Also, Duff melts pure cocoa butter to cook scallops in...interesting. Apparently Duff doesn't think he's getting enough props for this, and Alton argues back that it's easier to notice what he's doing if his cheering section is quieter and that maybe Duff should worry less about Alton's attention and more about there only being 7 minutes left. Symon tries to steal Duff's baseball cap, and Duff tells Symon that he can have the hat if he wins.
Alton is thrilled that the Chairman is gone, since he gets to play Vice-Chairman (insert jokes about the game Mao here) and eat for once. One of the judges tells Symon she's not really a pork fan, and it seems clear that, despite being really hot, she drops off his list of women he'd consider. We learn that Symon does indeed pronounce the word as "sherbert," and I immediately flash back to elementary school and the amount of teasing that one boy got because his last name was Sherbert.
In the end, Symon gets the win and the hat with a landslide win. Alton quotes Peanuts to finish up. Not as much snarkiness in this episode of SnarkFood, but it was an enjoyable episode.
Duff says he's going to show he can cook by cooking classics and making them awesome. Symon pretends to be surprised about being described as bald as he rubs pork with cocoa powder and has one of his sous chefs making chocolate pasta. Ooh, chocolate stout going into a dutch oven on the Iron Chef side. Symon goes up to the judging table to pour champagne for the judges, and a friend comments on FB that they need to show more closeups of Nigella.
Duff complains about Symon not telling him that the sheet pans don't fit in the oven, and Symon laughs and tells him where the half sheet pans are. Yay, sportsmanship! Duff is playing with meringue, and now I want to try chili meringues instead of peppermint ones. Even without Bobby Flay being on the floor, who will be the first to make a mojo with the theme ingredients? Duff uses a drill to excavate serrano peppers and I get more ideas. Dave and I used to joke that if we were on Next Food Network Star back when they allowed pairs compete together, our theme would be bringing the garage into the kitchen, using various tools in cooking. Symon moans as he cuts into pork belly. Just don't light a cigarette around those gas implements!
Alton has gotten to the point of yelling to Duff's peanut gallery to shut up with the cheering and noisemakers. I love Duff's look of mock surprise as Alton predicts what he's planning to do with his tuille batter/dough. Ooh, poblanos and triple sec, I can see that being really good. Duff's cheering section has taken the foam finger idea one step further with an inflatable finger.
In one of the commercials, we see Jeff Mauro talking about visiting other chefs and then using what they do as inspiration to make new sandwiches. I like that, since I still kinda wondered how sustainable the Sandwich King idea was.
Turns out Mike Symon is the first to do a mole, with his moan-worthy pork belly. Dried cacao pods as a serving vessel for the lobster dish almost as a play on Lobster Thermidor, I like it. Also, Duff melts pure cocoa butter to cook scallops in...interesting. Apparently Duff doesn't think he's getting enough props for this, and Alton argues back that it's easier to notice what he's doing if his cheering section is quieter and that maybe Duff should worry less about Alton's attention and more about there only being 7 minutes left. Symon tries to steal Duff's baseball cap, and Duff tells Symon that he can have the hat if he wins.
Alton is thrilled that the Chairman is gone, since he gets to play Vice-Chairman (insert jokes about the game Mao here) and eat for once. One of the judges tells Symon she's not really a pork fan, and it seems clear that, despite being really hot, she drops off his list of women he'd consider. We learn that Symon does indeed pronounce the word as "sherbert," and I immediately flash back to elementary school and the amount of teasing that one boy got because his last name was Sherbert.
In the end, Symon gets the win and the hat with a landslide win. Alton quotes Peanuts to finish up. Not as much snarkiness in this episode of SnarkFood, but it was an enjoyable episode.
Worst Cooks in America - 2/12/12
Welcome back to SnarkFood, boys and girls! The snark has been focused elsewhere for a while, but it's coming back to the food arena. Tonight we start with the season opener, with Bobby Flay as this season's foil to Anne Burrell. The show begins with "highlights" from the selection process. We have a culinary student with uncooked food, a woman with pink hair who keeps putting herself (and once her husband) in the ER, and a woman who puts things that individually are good together and makes horrible combinations. Seriously, woman, you are the right age to have learned from Full House the same as I did! Michelle only got her cooking badge in Bumblebees once she stopped putting things like tuna fish and ice cream together and just made orange juice popsicles!
One woman considers herself "resourceful" in the kitchen as she dismantles bell peppers with shears and tells Bobby that he's not menopausal. Oh, no, dishwasher salmon??? Who the hell cooks in the dishwasher?? Jurassic Mark agrees on Facebook:"My guess is that if you have a dishwasher, then you probably have an oven. Use it. If you are too lazy to cook in an oven, get out of the kitchen. And never invite me over for a meal. Or anything else. First it's dishwater salmon. Next it will be toilet tank gespacho."
Did none of these people have parents who taught them to cook? The answer is no."
Tasting and judgment: I'd eat Vinnie's pancakes, they look great! I love the comment of, "I really thought I could cook, but maybe my husband was right. I don't want my husband to be right." "That is the fabulous syrup. It might also be cement syrup, or a candle, or a weapon." Bobby: "Was there anything I did in my demonstration that confused you?" Response: "Everything!"
Anne's team: Anne tells Richard that he needs to get serious about wanting to learn. Pink-haired Dorothy decides she's willing to color inside the lines in at least one area of her life. Other than that, nothing special about evaluation.
Tiffany wins on the blue team and excited to have sucked the least this time. Kelly wins on the red team with her "beautiful plate," as described by Anne. Libby becomes the first to turn in her apron and is thinking of just never trying to cook again. Richard is not given the chance to get serious in this arena but says that he is not going to give up and that he wants to learn to cook well enough that his girlfriend will say yes when he proposes. Apparently this wake-up call was good for him (at least for as long as he's on camera).
Until next week, ladies and gentlemen. In the meantime, Iron Chef America just came on with Chef Duff from Ace of Cakes as the challenger. Oh, this'll be good, especially if it ends up being him against Mike Symon!
One woman considers herself "resourceful" in the kitchen as she dismantles bell peppers with shears and tells Bobby that he's not menopausal. Oh, no, dishwasher salmon??? Who the hell cooks in the dishwasher?? Jurassic Mark agrees on Facebook:"My guess is that if you have a dishwasher, then you probably have an oven. Use it. If you are too lazy to cook in an oven, get out of the kitchen. And never invite me over for a meal. Or anything else. First it's dishwater salmon. Next it will be toilet tank gespacho."
Did none of these people have parents who taught them to cook? The answer is no."
Tasting and judgment: I'd eat Vinnie's pancakes, they look great! I love the comment of, "I really thought I could cook, but maybe my husband was right. I don't want my husband to be right." "That is the fabulous syrup. It might also be cement syrup, or a candle, or a weapon." Bobby: "Was there anything I did in my demonstration that confused you?" Response: "Everything!"
Anne's team: Anne tells Richard that he needs to get serious about wanting to learn. Pink-haired Dorothy decides she's willing to color inside the lines in at least one area of her life. Other than that, nothing special about evaluation.
Tiffany wins on the blue team and excited to have sucked the least this time. Kelly wins on the red team with her "beautiful plate," as described by Anne. Libby becomes the first to turn in her apron and is thinking of just never trying to cook again. Richard is not given the chance to get serious in this arena but says that he is not going to give up and that he wants to learn to cook well enough that his girlfriend will say yes when he proposes. Apparently this wake-up call was good for him (at least for as long as he's on camera).
Until next week, ladies and gentlemen. In the meantime, Iron Chef America just came on with Chef Duff from Ace of Cakes as the challenger. Oh, this'll be good, especially if it ends up being him against Mike Symon!
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