14 Chefs Compete. The contestants face another intense challenge. Man, even the episode descriptions suck now! Viewer Discretion Advised: Language. Well, at least this time there's no violence. Dave wants to get the opening credits song on iTunes. He heard it once at the gym and thought immediately of HK.
I realized from the "scenes from last week" that I had the wrong blonde in the last write-up. It was Elizabeth, not Natalie. I can't even blame that one on the pain pills since I wrote that one before I took them.
Elise is annoyed that Carrie's still here. Dave says, "Face it, Elise, she's going to be here for a while. She's going to keep going just enough to avoid elimination." Some of the girls want to go to bed, but they're kept awake by Elise, Jennifer, and Krupa yelling at each other. One of the girls comments about too much drama. Dave comments, "Pot, kettle, black." There you go with those racist comments, Dave.
The contestants get to dress up like Farmer Joe and Jane for their challenge. Dave notices that they're not wearing waders, so they're not grabbing their own fish. Contestants have to catch chickens to get to choose ingredients for their chicken dishes. Dave wonders whether teams have to use all of the ingredients they get. If so, he pities the team that has to use grits and pickles. Natalie's farmgirl roots come out, and Will comments that Chino knows how to choke a chicken. The teams each get one chicken, and they have to pair up and take a chicken quarter per group. They have to make sure it comes out perfect, since they only have one serving to create their dish from. Each pair has to use a different cooking method (between frying, sauteeing, grilling, and roasting). Carrie's fried chicken is raw, and Elise tries to throw Carrie under the bus not just for this but for everything that has gone wrong for the red team. Carrie says she doesn't like girls...I'm sure there are plenty of guys who are happy to hear that, honey! Tommy needs to learn a better way to tie on a bandanna, since his makes his hair look like a ski hat. Monterray shows he has class by owning up to the fact that he was the reason that one plate had no chicken on it. The challenge comes down to the last dish, and Dave comments that this is only because Ramsay chickened out by giving both sauteed dishes a point. Yes, folks, he meant to say that. Now you know what I live with and why we have someone in our life that routinely takes away his talking privileges!
The red team wins and get a go-karting trip. The blue team's punishment is to make a ton of chicken stock. Dave comments that this is the best punishment so far since it at least relates to what the contestants want to do with their lives...much better than ironing or assembling playground equipment. Elise claims that she's going to kick butt despite having never go-karted before. "One thing you don't lack for is confidence," Dave points out. We learn that Elizabeth doesn't actually have a driver's license since she lives in Manhattan. Jennifer feels like she's racing while "driving like Miss Daisy." Dave has the pop culture knowledge to point out that Miss Daisy never drove. Elise plans to run Carrie off the "road" so that Carrie can't beat her. Love your teamwork, Elise. While the stock is working, the blue team role-plays dinner service. As a therapist, I have to like that idea! Natalie describes herself as "doing my fish thang." However, as Will notes, Chino sucks when he's not even cooking.
During prep, Elise finds someone else to piss off as she gives Andi backtalk and then walks away after Andi calls her out on it. Andi's eyes look like they're bulging with anger. "We've learned in previous seasons, don't piss off Andi," Dave notes. C'mon, Andi, give her the business!
Ooh, champion athletes in the chef's tables for each kitchen. Elise feels good that Carrie's not on meats to screw things up, but Elise ends up being the first screw-up with scallops. To her credit, though, for once she forgets that she knows everything and applies the advice that Ramsay gives. Natalie gets the blue team off to a good start on apps, but then Monterray shows that he's dumber than Elise tonight by talking back to Scott instead of listening to his advice. Dave and I learn that the way to keep fish from falling apart after removing it from the pan is to leave it on the fish spatula instead of taking it off the spatula right away. We also note that we need to acquire a fish spatula. The Bed Bath & Beyond CEO must love us...when we did our wedding registry, we spent about 3 hours in the kitchen section. Monterray says in his private camera spot that he didn't sign on to be cussed at by Scott. Um, dear, you knew what you were getting into, or you sure as hell should have! Monterray tries to get help from Jonathan, and half of the blue team starts yelling and cussing at each other in front of their Olympians. Gina cuts her steak too early and when yelled at says she wishes she was in a bubble bath with champagne. Dave replies, "If you wish you were in a bubble bath instead of wishing you had done it right the first time, you won't be around for long." She later sends up lamb that's still baa-ing. Over in the blue kitchen, forget Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader, Chino needs to go back to first grade. Not only can he not write, he can't tell time, repeatedly saying "just a minute" when he needs 3-5 minutes. The blue kitchen gets shut down and the red kitchen follows while trying to food both chef's tables. Why is there still bread in the baskets on the chef's tables?? They do at least get to eat, unlike the regular diners, as Ramsay has Scott and Andi make their entrees.
There are no winners here, only losers. Each team gets to choose 2 for elimination. Dave makes his picks: "Chino, since he's been useless since Week 0. For the other, it's hard because the worst is SO far below the rest. Monterray, I guess, because I like his attitude but his performance was bad. On the red team, Gina, since you brought up food that was clearly raw. For the other, they'll think of some reason to throw Carrie up there, but she'll still be around for a while. Elise will too." For my pics, I'm with you on Chino and Monterray and Gina. I would kill for them to send up Elise, but I doubt they will. I can see them trumping up a reason for Carrie, but I can also see them trumping up an excuse for Krupa. She didn't get a chance to screw anything up tonight, but she seems to also be high on the hit list."
Natalie's right about Chino: "You don't come to Hell's Kitchen to learn to cook, you should already know how to cook." Dave thinks the top 3 chefs on the blue team are, in whatever order, Natalie, Will, and Jonathan. Natalie tears up about Chino accusing her of sabotaging him. As the red team dithers, Jamie takes charge to make a tally of who screwed up today. As usual, Elise and Carrie are shouting at each other. I'm going to have to start thinking of new ways to say that. Elise yells, "Shut up, I'm talking," and Dave comments that if you need to say that because no one is listening to you, that usually means you don't have anything real to say.
Hot damn, the red team nominates Elise in addition to Carrie! Other than that, Dave and I both got the picks right. I hope Ramsay calls Gina up too. Monterray defends himself by saying he didn't give up. From Dave, "You did the stupider thing by fighting back. You got dumb!" Chino says he wants to be able to show the guys what he can do. Dave: "You have shown the guys what you can do, that's the problem." Well, he hasn't converted much of the team into drooling mouth-breathers, if that's what he means. Elise looks arrogant when some of the red team members say they would rather send her home than Carrie and completely shocked when Natalie agrees. Elise, honey, if you go outside in Seattle with your nose that far in the air, you'll drown inside of a day. Ramsay deliberates, and Dave asks him to do us all a favor and get Chino off our tvs. (He seems to like that phrase) According to Dave, Chino makes it look like Dave should be on HK instead of him. "And I sure as hell don't belong on there. Yet." The sad thing is that it took 3 weeks to get rid of Chino because there were 2 people worse than him.
In the previews for next week, we see that Gina takes the nice-girl gloves off and faces down Elise. That'll be fun to see. From Dave, "Jamie, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Natalie, Jonathan, and Will. There's your final 6. But they'll bring Elise and Carrie for the final episode because they create too much drama to leave then out." OK, Dave, we've noted that down for posterity. To quote a Mercedes Lackey book, "Let's see if [you are] brilliant or deluded!"
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