Worst Cooks in America 1/17

We're a little behind at the moment, but we wanted to take some time for decent cooks yesterday. Now we can return to the hellaciousness that Anne and Tyler get to endure on a weekly basis.

After losing Sydney and Gospel Ty last week, we've got 10 remaining hopefuls. They enter to hear they will get to create their own flavor combinations. They get to taste a bunch of flavor samples that on the surface seem blech, but turn out fine.

Yo Gabba Gabba Donna describes the flavors as fighting and then making love in her mouth - I hope she washes afterwards. The olives and white chocolate don't seem to give anyone a pregnant pause. I'm thinking any recruit that looked like they would puke would be on the short list this week.

Time to make ice cream sandwiches! Yay! Oh, wait, the contestants are making them, nevermind. Finger-lickin Holgie has her normal confused stare as Anne demonstrates how to use the mixer and everyone else takes notes.

Tyler demonstrates the science of the cookies. I cannot WAIT to see who screws up the measurements the most. My better half is anxious to see who screws up tempering the eggs the most. It could end up being the same person colossally messing up both, though.

Oh, they get to pick their own flavor of cookie, using what they have just "learned" in flavor sampling. I hope Tyler likes olive-based chocolate cookies that have the consistency of cement. It'll be a blind taste test, which surprises Holgie that they found enough blind people to sample the dishes. My head hurts from the facepalm.

Donna is considering a basil/coconut ice cream, which sounds like it could be passable - until she gets flustered by heat. Too bad, it actually sounded like an interesting concept. Holgie is using espresso and cinnamon in her ice cream, with a peanut butter cookie - again, sounds good on paper. Rachel's going for a margarita based ice cream - OK, that sounds good too. Ernie's going for a peanut cookie, drawing on something he had with his dad.

Chanda is the winner in the who-will-screw-up-measuring contest! You get a teaspoon to hold the world's tiniest violin. It won't help in cutting her cement cookies though.

Taylor is going for a bacon and banana cookie, which sounds odd at first. Manbun Nick is making a sauce of maraschino cherry juice, chocolate, and vodka - so sweet you will get an immediate rush, I think. He seems to like it though.

GINNY THINKS HER ICE CREAM IS BETTER THAN SEX. I feel bad for her sex life. I don't want to know about her milkshake, either.

Time for the blind tasting. Chanda's is picked out right away for the cement consistency. Lazy Latina Glenda went nuts on salt and it shows. Manbun Nick's plate is a mess.

Bottoms up!

10. Chanda (cement dragged you to the bottom)
9. Glenda (salt, blech)
8. Lawrence (sprinkles galore)
7. Ginny
6. Nick (syrup backfired, misplaced on this dish)
5. Holgie
4. Taylor (bacon and banana worked well enough)
3. Ernie (good texture)
2. Donna (I'm stunned she did this well)
1. Rachel (delicious and major kudos for the margarita cookie, a win for the blue team)

Continuing to the main dish challenge, we're making empanadas! As no one there seems to know what those are (including Glenda), Anne explains the basics of them. Tyler shows turkey picadillo empanadas with lime crema. Anne is going for a pork/potato empanada with tomatillo salsa. Glenda thinks this is a really weird combination. I think Glenda is weird for thinking that it weird to have pork and tomatillos in a Cuban dish.

Glenda gets right to work drowning her pan in salt again. Lawrence is going for lamb curry flavor - creative, and Tyler likes it. Rachel's dish sounds good too, going Greek with her chicken assignment. Boston taylor is grabbing the bacon again, which is going to get tired very quickly. Manbun Nick is staying very much in the box in flavors - Spanish only and nothing else, so he's behind his competitors UNTIL he whips out the tequila. Getting judges drunk will help. Chanda is confused on what to make and sounds like she is making it up as she goes along. Ernie is cautioned against going too simple again as he did for the ice cream challenge, which halts his progress for a while as the wheels spin in his mind...and spin....and spin.... and spin. Holgie's making a nice mess, and so is Chanda. Ginny's going to try and use a bunch of things she's never tasted before to be "creative". At this exact same moment, I notice that I have no wine left, and go to get another glass.

Taylor is lost and stressed and the food processor is stumping him as time winds down. Chanda's confusion has not improved. Heck, nobody looks happy or content. Sounds like a perfect time to judge!

First up, Chicken (Taylor and Rachel): Taylor's is dry despite a good flavor profile, but Rachel's is all around good and gets the nod. 

Lamb (Glenda and Lawrence): Lawrence's is juicy but is unbalanced for sweetness. Glenda's is loaded with salt and makes both judges almost gag., 

Pork (Nick and Holgie): Holgie's didn't seal up right but taste good,. Nick's filling is dry. Holgie takes it. 

Turkey (Chanda and Ernie): Chanda actually gets good marks for a breakfast approach. Ernie tried to go Caribbean but get a stinkface from Anne. Chanda manages to take one for the red team!

Beef (Donna and Ginny): Ginny's didn't seal right either, and can't shut up. Anne looks like she wants to punch her. So do half the contestants. The dish is badly seasoned. Donna went for a mini-calzone approach and it gets good marks - it lacks salt but it's enough to win. 

Time for eliminations - my money is on Glenda to go home after getting lucky last week. I don't know about the blue team but I am guessing Ginny may go based on the first challenge playing in as well. 

Safe from Blue: Rachel's was the best this week. Also safe are Lawrence and Holgie, putting Ernie and Ginny in the bottom two. However, Ernie goes home, not Ginny. I'm surprised since he did all right in the first challenge, but Tyler felt he had stalled out and wasn't progressing so it was time to go.
Safe from Red: Chanda is at the top (not saying much considering the rest of the red team), Donna's also safe, and so is Nick. Taylor and Glenda are the bottom two. Glenda is the easy choice to go, as she flubbed both parts today and last week as well.

Tune in next week as the remaining survivors are asked to multitask in the kitchen and Holgie attempts to sell everyone some magic mushrooms so they can taste the color blue.

Hell's Kitchen - 18 Chefs

Here at Snarkfoods we're going to go crazy if we're just watching terrible "chefs" cook. So let's tackle Hell's Kitchen too instead of Worst Cooks for a minute - the 15th season of Hell's Kitchen, as a matter of fact. Gordon hasn't had a stroke or aneurysm yet, so we have 18 chefs vying to be his newest chef at....Bally's in Vegas. It's a slight downgrade from Caesar's Palace seen in previous years, but at least it's close by. 

Matter of fact, let's head to Vegas RIGHT NOW. The first test will not be in Hell's Kitchen, but will take place at BLT Steak in Vegas where the winner will assume his/her place. 

(Yes they got off the bus at Caesar's, but the parade...across the Strip.....takes them to Bally's. I've walked this distance. It ain't that far.)

How come when I pop a balloon there isn't a Vegas showgirl that pops out? Nice opening though. Winter is coming after all. 

In the signature dish challenge at BLT, there are a few standouts - that remind us of Worst Cooks in America. Mark (Black mussels with chorizo) serves a bland dish that causes Gordon to just shake his head and sigh. Meese served a pork loin that is dry as a bone. Vanessa, who cooks for first class passengers, serves an eggplant dish that Gordon "wouldn't serve to coach class". Kevin served a chicken ceasar pizza that looks terrible, uses prepared dough, and uses premade caesar salad dressing which prompts Gordon to wonder why the hell he is there - I think we have an early leader for the first elimination from Kevin. Alan's maple-glazed salmon gets questions as to why maple glaze was put into a risotto - strange. 

2 - Sharkenna (crab stuffed salmon), Ashley (ostrich filet), 

3 - Eddie (Bambi tenderloin), Frank (Penne a la vodka), Joe (creamy polenta), Jackie (seared scallop - just one - but tasty), Kristin, whose food was recommended by her probation officer (grilled pork tenderloin with garlic aioli), Ariel (Shakshuska, a middle eastern dish I hadn't heard of before but looks pretty good), Manda (corn-flake fried scallops, weird like her as she says). 

Danni (pan-seared scallops with Thai Curry sauce), Jared (halibut on Alaskan king crab cake), Chad (partridge breast) and Hassan (pan-seared scallops) impress Gordon with nice dishes to score 4's. 

The men win with Hassan's scallops providing a 1-point win. The men's reward is a nice observation tour on the High Roller and VIP exclusivity at a nightclub. The ladies get to go to the Bally's buffet to prep it - including a thousand pounds of potatoes. 

The next day we are back in LA, prepping for dinner service. Knives, dorms, and jackets are given and we're ready to go - maybe. Joe has trouble hearing the first order and Alan screws up every order of scallops after his first batch while also firing tuna early without an order coming in. Vanessa is so flustered on the appetizer station that the ENTIRE TEAM has to take over her station. 

The rest of the red team pulls together nicely and has a smooth service. They all fill in well on the appetizers, and Sharkenna nails her Wellington dishes. They don't have any problems that get broadcast and finish the service - not bad!

The blue team doesn't fare as well. Gordon eventually has enough of burned pizzas, raw scallops, undercooked risotto, and eventually blue patrons leaving that he sends the blue team upstairs. Jared and Eddie came in from tableside service to help in the kitchen from being so far behind, but it didn't help. Undercooked lobster is the last straw as Gordon exiles the blue team from the kitchen. The signature dish win now means nothing. Congrats boys!

Elimination discussion - Alan, Mark and Kevin all deserve to go home from the dinner service - and they all got 1's on the signature dish challenge to boot. Mark and Kevin get nominated, and Mark is sent home - surprised me, I thought Kevin would go based on just how awful his dish was in the signature challenge and how lost he looked but he lasts another week. 

Next week: Partying, gyrations, nudity, hangovers, and distractions for our remaining 17 chefs. Also, sumo wrestling - BOOBS! Man-boobs, but still. 

GONE: Mark

HOT SEAT: Kevin, Vanessa, Alan

FRONTRUNNER: Damned if I know, but the entire red team except Vanessa would qualify I guess. 

Worst Cooks in America 1/10/16

Having enlisted my loyal assistant's help for the last post, I'm back again with your weekly snark.

Let's see who can follow directions and who our teenage rebels are.  But wait, first we get to play a trivia game to see how stupid these people are.  Mike says this is like Gordon Ramsay's tasting test for idiots.  Wait a sec, Yo Gabba Gabba Donna is a lunch lady?  I sure hope she wasn't cooking the food!

Each team has to make an Italian classic dish, but they also need to figure out the rest of the recipe by committee.  They do both manage to fill in the blanks correctly, but can they follow it?  Ginny thinks that you dredge chicken by sprinkling it with a little flour (Mike thinks she needs to stop winging it), and Lawrence thinks that prosciutto and bacon are the same thing.  Lazy Latina is having trouble understanding English well enough to read the recipe...she cannot pronounce or understand the word "finely" in the direction "finely chopped."  Holgie has trouble identifying what part of the parsley to use and says the last time she followed a recipe it was the Summer of Love and she was handing out flowers in Haight-Ashbury.  You know, out of everyone here, I'd expect her to be the MOST familiar with various herbs, not the least!  She's still doing better than Gospel Ty, who as never seen a recipe before in his life.  I want my Maryland boy to do well, but so far today he has had no idea what a plantain is and, in his own words, had more of a spit than a sauce for his chicken marsala.

Red Team Results: Manbun Nick was able to actually diagnose his own mistake.  Good boy!  Chanda is trying to kill Anne with raw chicken, but her sauce is good.  Taylor cooked his chicken well but needs to learn about the Salt Life.  Yo Gabba Gabba Donna ran her steps together like she runs her words together, and nothing cooked properly as a result.  Lazy Latina also needs a dose of salty goodness.  Gospel Ty had his chicken blessed by an angel, but the other ingredients did not have a chance to cook together long enough for their own spiritual awakening.

Blue Team: Maryland boy shows off the rural with his grammar, but he does at least know what he did wrong.  Holgie did better than I expected, but her sauce is floating in a sea of fat from too much butter.  Yes, Holgie found a way to ruin butter.  Lawrence, on the other hand, found a way to make Tyler unable to taste the chicken in the chicken marsala.  Ginny, who I see is from close to where I was in Maryland, apparently was hogging the salt shaker that the red team couldn't find.  Rachel seems like the winner so far, while the best Cindy can say about her dish is that it looks pretty.

Manbun won the red team, and Holgie actually won on the blue side.  Wow, Maryland's really representing, as Ernie and Ginny are sharing the shame of the Blue bottom.  Lazy Latina and Yo Gabba Gabba Donna are told by Anne that they need to calm down because they are on the bottom.  However, this was not an elimination segment, so let's see if any of these four can claw their way out of the dungeon.

So in today's technique tutorial, Anne and Tyler are teaching them to stuff their meat properly.  Oh, baby!  Tyler's team is basically making an Oscar-stuffed filet, but he's not calling it that since most of them couldn't tell Steak Oscar from Oscar the Grouch.  It will have crispy potatoes on the side.  The water for parboiling the potatoes should be as salty as the ocean...I think Ginny can handle that!  Anne's team is making a mushroom and blue cheese-stuffed tenderloin with haricot verts and a potato-celery root puree.  Five bucks says at least half the purees are as thin as the sauce on the meat and all but one of the other half are chunky from the veggies being underdone.  Also, now taking bets on who complains first about haricot verts not just being called green beans.  Yo Gabba Gabba Donna mistakes shiitake for shih-tzu.  No, honey, we're making Western food, not Korean.  Taylor makes me laugh comparing blanching to Golden Girls, but will he be the one to forget the ice bath in his comedy routine?  Going back to the blue team, I fully expect someone to forget to tie the meat and someone to tie it so tightly and badly that everything is squeezed out.  Blue team is lucky that Tyler has them making the Bernaise in a blender rather than by hand, though.  Each team gets a different method for stuffing, with Tyler cutting around his tenderloin to flatten it out and roll it up again and Anne cutting a pocket and piping the stuffing in.  I already said what I think Tyler's team will do to screw up, I think Anne's kids are going to either make the pockets too small or so big they cut the meat in half.

Cooking time.  Lazy Latina and Yo Gabba Gabba Donna are right next to each other.  Because Anne wanted to keep the explosion contained or something?  Either way, they can't even figure out what a quarter cup is when they work together.  Tyler and Anne are snarking between them as they watch.  Holgie cuts her meat properly and then proceeds to put her meat-covered hands to her mouth.  However, they all do it correctly, and without losing any fingers!  Rachel is badly behind, and then she has enough oil in her pan to be deep frying her filet rather than searing it.  So far we don't have any complaints about calling green beans by a fancy French name.  Gospel Ty is the Rachel of his team.  Tyler tells Cindy to run like the wind, Bullseye!  Cindy says cooking is hard.  All right, Asian Barbie, get off the stage.  Chanda looks like she's wearing nothing but a bra under her apron, but that's not why Ty's flustered.  As soon as the clock runs out, Ty is crying on Taylor's shoulder.  At least he doesn't have a taboo about men expressing emotion?  He's got less reason to be crying than Lazy Latina, who didn't get anything on her plate but her meat.

Tasting.  Yo Gabba Gabba Donna recovered and did well.  Taylor has chunky raw potato but good steak.  Chanda is missing her carb, so she also has less on her plate than Ty.  Manbun's beans are shriveled, isn't he too young for that?  Lazy Latina does have good meat and the best stuffing of the day, but that doesn't make more food magically appear on her plate.

Rachel did manage a good plate, but with an asterisk for the help from Tyler.  Holgie can actually follow a recipe when she's sober!  Lawrence needs more salt, but he did well overall.  Tyler freaks Ginny out with his deadpan, but she seems to be the winner so far.  Ernie overdid his meat but redeemed himself with his sauce.  Time for Cindy.  Hold on a sec, I need to grab the popcorn.  She also needs salt, and she didn't sear her meat well enough.

Judgment Day.  Ginny comes back from the first challenge to get the win for the blue team!  Yo Gabba Gabba Donna won for the red, but I feel like that needs an asterisk as well, since Anne needed to fix her putting an extra cup of sherry in the stuffing.  Bottom two for each team are Rachel/Cindy and Ty/Lazy Latina.  Please send Lazy Latina home!!  Darn, she sends Ty home, time for him to start crying again.  And no more Asian Barbie.

Tune in next week to see if Lazy Latina can stay alive.

The Return of Worst Cooks - and how bad will it be?

It's back! The Worst Cooks in America has returned and it has gone back to the concept of finding random, "everyday" folks who couldn't cook a baked potato in a microwave. No more of this celebrity garbage.

In the casting line, we have congealed cement and orgasmic thunder, vomit, and food worse than MREs. We have spam with chocolate and mustard. We have tofu bunnies. We have a gospel singer with cement as a dish. We have a self-described lazy Latina. We have tuna fish mousse that made Anne and Tyler almost puke. We have "eco-friendly beauty lasagna" that looks like it is the remnants of someone's plastic surgery and smells like diapers.

Let's see who Anne and Tyler get stuck dealing with this year. I guess Tyler couldn't convince Bobby to come back to deal with these hopeless yokels:

Five seconds into the "prepare your best dish" and someone's

• Lazy Latina Glenda had fish of the sea. Both judges liked her. Tyler even gave her a dance. 
• Yo Gabba Gabba Donna, the Newport hairdresser who is speaking jibberish to Anne describing her dish. Her dish made Chanda gag quickly. It looked like noodles dipped in egg wash and left out for a week on the counter. 
• Lawrence, Jersey Army vet, who is abusing a steak worse than anything on the battlefield.
• Ernie the truck driver who is better hauling liquid chemicals than using them on the stove. He also thinks there is no thing as bad seafood. I shuddered. Tyler liked it though. 
• Chanda, who's got nice shoes and is too busy checking her hair in the microwave. Probably good, since her cooking may have actually killed someone. Her strategy seems to be boiling a container of bacon bits. This may put her in the top half of the field. 
• Manbun Nick is making a jailhouse burrito. And pouring boiling water into a standing bag. And wrapping it in a paper towel. On the bright side, all of his ingredients may be easily smuggled into a prison to make this dish. Convicts, we have your champion! His final product looks like a hot pocket, which may be how the items got into prison in the first place. 
• Gospel Ty is making a hot mess. His words, not mine. I agree with Anne, that crappy singing would make me want to kill him the first day too. His food is as raw as his singing. 
• Bloody Jeni is going to get the judges drunk with her Bloody Mary chicken. Again, not the worst strategy - until she adds pickle juice. Judges thought it was a crime scene
• David managed to come up from his parents' basement for this series, but is using the wrong end of the knife. Is there a medic around? He's making a BLT but using fried plantains as the bread. Eek. 
• Boston Taylor was swiftly put on the show by his girlfriend/fiancee/dominatrix/boss before his cooking kills her. His accent is so egregiously Boston that I could almost hear the Patriots bleating in his voice. 
• Finger-licking Holgie left her bongos at her geodesic dome. I don't think she left her stash of Maui Wowie behind though. She's more baked than her food. 
• Gini is multicultural! She served Spanish rice, because it had avocados from Spain (which is the same as Mexico) and French onion dip that resembled gremlin vomit. 
• Rachel served a pancake that can double as a hockey puck on Friday and a yarmulke on Saturday. She is talented enough to serve a pancake that was raw and burnt at the same time. 
• Sydney made a shepherds pie that was spit out by Anne in less than a second. It was very consistent, though - so much that it doesn't appear to be cuttable. 

Tyler ended up with Jeni, Sydney, Rachel, Gini, Lawrence, Finger-Licking Holgie, and Ernie.

Anne got Yo Gabba Gabba Donna, David , Manbun Nick (who literally flipped out over his selection), Gospel Ty, Taylor Swift, Chanda, and Glenda.

Time for boot camp. Holgie seems scared of being thrown into the fire. Maybe she'll fire one up before boot camp starts. 

Red team gets to attempt prosciutto-wrapped pork tenderloin with peach chutney and asparagus. Yo Gabba Gabba Donna is wearing two sets of glasses to see because "bifocals don't work for her". Apparently, heating pans doesn't work for her either, and ovens amaze and confuse her. Fire bad for Yo Gabba Gabba Donna! The red team gets excited for the bourbon but no one seems to be taking notes. 

Blue team will try a sticky brick chicken with creamed corn and crispy kale. Tyler tried to teach them how to break down a chicken. Two team members look like they're going to cry, and the rest seem amazed by the sorcery. At least they are taking notes, though Holgie's scared of the food processor and Rachel is confused by doing a reduction. 

Chanda seems unfamiliar what to do with a long piece of meat like that. I wouldn't have guessed that based on her shoes! Lazy Latina Glenda is having trouble reading packages as she tried to wrap pork in something other than prosciutto. David and Taylor Swift forget what "skinny" end means when they wrap their loins wrong - but their girlfriends say it's ok, it happens to all men at some point. First fire of the season goes to Rachel, who stares at it in confusion, or secret pyro adoration - I can't tell which. Manbun Nick is having more trouble with knife skills than with his backflips. Ginny has a smoking - no, fiery - pan and burned her wrist. Chanda is peeling her thumbs along with the peaches. David is having an anxiety attack brought about by peaches, and got a boo-boo with the peeler which caused him to freak out. Bloody Jeni is carrying lots of equipment around the kitchen with no clue on how to use any of them. She's also scattering her trash and knives all over the floor - disgusting.

When it comes to tasting - well, I hope Anne and Tyler took antibiotics beforehand. 

Ernie's dish is good but incomplete because he decided not to serve underdone chicken - good move. Sydney's presentation is good and she gets decent marks. Jeni's dish is as messed up as she is, making Tyler gag with how overdone it is. Ginni gets good reviews. Holgie serves "the best creamed corn so far". Rachel has anemic color, no glaze, and her food tastes like fear. 

Anne reviews her team. David's asparagus is OK but other elements are off, and she calls out his breakdown in seeing "all the dominoes fall". Yo Gabba Gabba Donna is back to one set of glasses, and her presentation is good, but the whole dish is way too spicy. Manbun Nick was out of his element by not using a microwave, but overall does a good plate - and does another backflip. Lazy Latina Glenda's dish was off by using double prosciutto and underdone pork. Gospel Ty gets called out for throwing out the wrong part of asparagus and serving what appears to be scrambled eggs, but the pork is cooked well. Taylor Swift did well on all elements but poorly on knife cuts. Chanda wants to run away and take the chainsaw she used to cut her food with her. 

Time for eliminations! Ginni and Manbun Nick are the best on their teams this week. Taylor Swift, Yo Gabba Gabba Donna, Lazy Latina Glenda and Gospel Ty are also safe on Anne's red team. Lawrence, Sydney, Holgie, and Ernie are all safe for Tyler's blue team. 

Jeni and Rachel are at the bottom for Blue - fire versus trash. Jeni's going home - thank goodness, given her propensity for tossing trash all over the floor and leaving knives on the floor to slip on, fall on, or worse. Chanda and David are at the bottom for Red - and David is done. Anne hopes this is a good jumping off point for David, but given his reaction to a cut earlier I'm just hoping it isn't a jump off a bridge. 

Tune in next week for more disasters and facepalms.....

Spam S'mores

For those times in life where you just have to ask, "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT???"

Unlike Lenny, Justin Warner did end up with a TV show after winning Food Network Star, back in season 8. Unfortunately, we get to see this sort of monstrosity.

I know it's a Web series and not on TV, but still.........blech.

I've never heard of it but apparently it's known enough to be Google-able:

Still....no. I think I'll pass up on this Foodie Call.

Great Food Truck Race - Labor Day Edition

For Labor Day weekend, we present...food trucks!  Today Santa Fe gets to be a destination in more than Ticket to Ride.

Let's see if the Waffle Boys can do better in a taste challenge than they have in the truck stop challenges.  Uh oh, the theme is peppers, which favors everyone BUT the Waffle Boys.  They do at least have a corn waffle they do, which would work better with a savory presentation, but I worry about how they could keep it from seeming forced.  They are making a chile relleno into a waffle???  It looks like someone made an omelet into a waffle.  The teams only have 30 minutes to cook, which makes me worry about the soul food truck's ability to develop flavor profiles in their soup.  The Spice Girls have a chile relleno that does not appear fried, and the Burger Boys are told their meat needs more seasoning.  The Waffle Boys are told their waffle relleno is "innovative."  The soul food truck does indeed get the flavor into their soup.  This challenge is right up the alley of the Apple Dumpling Gang, and they do shine, but the soul food truck comes out the winners of $1000 for their final till.  I thought they were going to get dinged for using bell peppers in their soup instead of something with more spice.  The Spice Girls are unimpressed, with one of them calling soup and cornbread what she makes to mail it in when she doesn't want to cook.  Bring on the trash talk!

The Waffle Boys appear to have chosen poorly on their spot, as people are driving by without stopping.  We'll see if it helps them more by the end of the day, but it doesn't look good right now.  The Apple Dumpling Gang is running smooth as pie, which is a nice change for them.

Speed bump time: Only one hour to shop for the rest of the weekend, no more restocking allowed.  Interesting balance, because you don't want to run out of food early and lose customers, but at the same time any extra food costs could have been money in the final till instead.  Someone is sure to run out, but who's it gonna be?  The Spice Girls are wondering about their price point since they are having people walk away after asking the price.  Fifteen bucks is a lot for a bowl of chili no matter where you are.  Some of the trucks are closing up a bit early because they don't have the customers and they want to save their food for the next day.  Tyler gives the soul food truck a bit of friendly advice...wonder if he's doing that for the others off camera as well.

So, on to the next day and another speed bump: everyone gets to park in the same place.  The farmers' market seems like a great spot, but again we have to wonder who will run out of food?  The soul food truck adds a breakfast wrap because they're parked right next to the Waffle Boys.  The Spice Girls are having trouble explaining their food to dumb people with no taste, but their whining about it is getting annoying.  They do finally consider lowering the price, but one of them is griping about it and saying they don't think it was necessary.  Honey, when people are walking away when they hear your prices, that's an issue!  The Burger Boys are already worrying about whether they will have enough food.

The farmers' market closes, and everyone has to search for a spot again.  The soul food truck is thinking their parking spot will be big enough.  Nope, they hit someone's bumper.

As a side note among the commercials, we see the promo for Eddie Football's new show, BBQ Blitz!  We also see that Worst Cooks in America has now jumped the shark with a celebrity showing.  Sorry, folks, but that marks the end of my interest in the show for watching it or blogging it!  Now taking nominations for someone else to join the SnarkFood team and blog it...

We come back to the soul food truck and their bumper crop.  The dad is saying it's a minor graze.  Uh oh.  That just sounds like it's going to lead to going somewhere else and leaving no note.  Dude, YOU'RE ON CAMERA!!!  It's not even Candid Camera, you know it's there!!!  Say goodbye to that extra thou in your till, or at least a few hundred of it!  Sadly, I'm right.  At least a couple seasons ago the guy was honest about it!  It's sad when your kid can figure out that your money just disappeared and you can't!

In better news, the Waffle Boys came up with the idea of a grilled cheese waffle.  That had better stay on your menu, you need to have a savory option to keep up with the others!!  The Spice Girls apparently didn't need to drop their prices, because they ran out first, with FOUR HOURS left to sell.  The Apple Dumpling Gang is dropping their prices by half with 45 minutes left, and people are turning around when they hear 50% off.  The Waffle Boys did overbuy by a whole batch, which runs them $150.  They're saying, "we can't go home this weekend."  Hate to say it, boys, but you can go home any weekend.

Judgment time, and Tyler asks the teams to recap the weekend.  This sounds like the leadup to pounding on the soul food truck.  He goes to the Spice Girls first and tells them they need a better elevator pitch.  Looks like the Burger Boys also had a bunch of food left over.  The soul food truck loses $250 as a deductible AND another $250 for not stopping and doing the right thing.  Did you really make that much in sales in the time it would have taken you to leave a note???  Next stop is Amarillo, but who will make the trip?  Despite the extra batch of dough not getting sold, the Waffle Boys run away with the victory, selling over $5000 in product.  The soul food truck is in second, but if they hadn't hit that car they would have been at the top.  Spice Girls and Burger Boys are at the bottom, separated by 80 bucks.  Selling out too early and dropping their price hurt the Spice Girls too much, and they go home.

Keri from Spice Girls is tearful again talking about being away from her kids.  You know, we see that on this show and Food Network Star both, as well as to a lesser extent on Hell's Kitchen.  First of all, you know what you're signing up for and you know it's not going to be easy.  No, I've never tried to be away from my son for that kind of time, but on camera isn't the place to show the emotions about it either.  Second, it's only the moms they show on camera saying this.  When they have dads on these shows, they talk about doing all this for their kids, but it's not the emotional scene that it is for the moms.  Thanks, editors, for furthering the stereotype that moms don't get to become top chefs and stars, and that you can only be a mom food star if you became a food star before having your kids.  At least we have Melissa d'Arabian to show us otherwise!  Ok, stepping off my soapbox for this week.

Great Food Truck Race 8/30/15

Time to see if the Apple Dumpling Gang can continue their madcap caper!  The recap starts with the type of introduction of each team that we would have liked to have had last week.  The Apple Dumpling Gang was allowed to use their proceeds from last week to rent another truck to use.

It's raining/snowing in Flagstaff.  I didn't even know it snowed there!  First challenge is simple, who can sell the most by the end of the first day.  The soul food truck is addressing the weather by making soup.  The Waffle Boys are sticking Belgian chocolate into the middle of their waffle.  WANT. RIGHT. NOW. The Apple Dumpling Gang is sticking close to them hoping that being different enough will get people to buy from them also, rather than wanting people to come of them instead of the Waffle Boys.  The Burger Boys start doing BOGOs, never a good sign.

The winner of today's challenge gets to start selling an hour early tomorrow.  That won't help the Waffle Boys if today is Saturday, as it appears to be, because they'll be in church, right?  The Waffle Boys win, so how will that work out?  They leave at 9 AM while everyone else leaves at 10.  They all have to get to Sedona, and the Waffle Boys decide to shop and start mixing before their leave so they're ready to go as soon as they get to Sedona.  I guess it's not Sunday after all.  Looks like the one thing they forgot to do was get a place to park, but they do find a spot at the same place as 4 other trucks.  Well, this is where the fact that they're ready to go right away helps them.

The Spice Girls are playing to their audience by putting a vegan dish on the menu, and their customer base seems to appreciate it.  One of them has her kids visit...I guess they're local?  They didn't mention that, and they're not talking about being able to get a ton of friends to visit.  The New Yorkers don't seem to have much of a market here, but they decide against moving over to the store where everyone else is.  The Spice Girls' vegan curry seems an even better financial decision as the Apple Dumpling Gang and Burger Boys are losing sales for not having any vegetarian options.  The trucks have one more hour until it's time to stop for the night, but they have to have a full truck of ingredients by the time they leave.  The Waffle Boys shopped well enough this morning that they don't have to stop selling to shop.

Truck Stop Challenge: The teams have to sell rabbit-rattlesnake sausage dishes, and at the end of the challenge they have to pay $100 for the sausage.  However much they sell, Tyler will double it.  The Waffle Boys are making a sausage benedict that I also WANT. RIGHT. NOW.  They've skinned rabbits before and are able to describe both the taste and the texture of rattlesnake...clearly they know their ingredients well.  The Burger Boys mix their sausage meat into their burgers, and the Apple Dumpling Gang mixes theirs into egg roll fillings.  The Spice Girls have made chili.  The Apple Dumpling Gang and the Waffle Boys are cooking WAY too slow, though, and they are the last to leave.  The Apple Dumpling Gang ends up with only 20 bucks after paying for their sausage, and the Waffle Boys have to hand over 10 bucks of their own money, which will then become 20.  The Waffle Boys should be okay after their previous days at least, but the Apple Dumpling Gang is in trouble.

They have a few more hours to sell, which means finding a spot again.  The Burger Boys added a vegetarian option, and people are ordering it.  This time the New Yorkers do move halfway through when they see the scene is dead.  The soul food family parks outside a tourist info spot, good call there.  The Waffle Boys are getting good sales, but one of them needs to learn that there's no crying in food trucks!!  My money at this point is on the Apple Dumpling Gang or the New Yorkers going home.  The Waffle Boys are nervous because of the lack of excitement over their sausage, but they sold out of dough at the end of the night, so they can't be that bad off.

Judgment Day.  Ice T could not be reached for comment.  Next trip is to Santa Fe, but we still have to see who is making the trip.  Spice Girls win on their home turf, not a surprise.  Waffle Boys came in second, and the Spice Girls are lucky that the boys did so badly in the cooking challenge.  Tyler points out that this is the second week in a row that the boys haven't done well in the cooking challenge.  I was right, bottom two are the Apple Dumpling Gang and the New Yorkers.  Fifteen dollars decides it in favor of the Apple Dumpling Gang, and their caper continues.

Join us next time to see if the Waffle Boys can up their game in the challenges.