Spam S'mores

For those times in life where you just have to ask, "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT???"

Unlike Lenny, Justin Warner did end up with a TV show after winning Food Network Star, back in season 8. Unfortunately, we get to see this sort of monstrosity.

I know it's a Web series and not on TV, but still.........blech.

I've never heard of it but apparently it's known enough to be Google-able:

Still....no. I think I'll pass up on this Foodie Call.

Worst Cooks in America - 2/19/12

Our competitors awaken to find a big fortune cookie on their table telling them to go to Chinatown.  Dave points out that the music during the trip is a riff on "Turning Japanese."  Serena points out that she's not going to be able to do this just because she's Asian, and Dave wonders whether Serena will start throwing around soy sauce and garlic like Debbie Lee.  Anne informs the contestants that they will be making noodles from scratch.  They do at least get to avoid some steps in the process, but they will be pulling the dough into noodles.  I have a strong feeling that at least half the contestants will not flour their noodles enough to keep them separated.  I'm not sure I would want to try that, especially not as a beginning cook.

The chefs teach knife skills, and Bobby opens a cat food can of red curry paste.  I use red curry paste all the time, but my curry paste comes in a jar, thank you!  Anne teaches smashing garlic, and Dave predicts that someone will end up hurting themselves.  I'm more worried about fingers in the julienne cut on the carrots.  The noodle-pulling begins, and Serena is the first to end up with a gloppy mess.  Tiff is good enough at pulling noodles for Bobby to ask her during evaluation if she has done this before.

Erica, it's not toofoo, and it's not supposed to melt!  Bobby just said it's supposed to heat through.  Sherrill decides to skimp on the curry paste, but Serena uses the extra in her dish.  Bobby tells Sherrill she's a very confident cook, and she replies that she cooks at home.  Yes, honey, but you're on this show for a reason!  Anthony describes his noodles as a fat kid and a skinny kid getting into a fight and leaving their fingers in a bowl.  Bob turns his frown upside down and makes Anne smile as well with his consistent knife cuts.  Rachel thinks Anne is giving her tough love...honey, that wasn't tough love, she was being really nice to you!  As I typed this, though, I kept having the Freudian typo of "touch love"...well, now! Vinnie wins for the blue team, and Sherrill loses.  Bob wins for the red team, and Rachel loses.

The theme of the main dish is comfort foods around the globe, with meatballs. Bobby comes perilously close to quoting Babylon 5 with his comment that every culture has a meatball.  Trust me, that was Dave that noticed that and not me!!  Uh oh, Anne and Bobby are teaching them to assemble the meat grinder?  That's dangerous with this crowd.  Tiffany is grossed out by what meat looks like raw.  Dorothy wins brownie points for being able to correctly answer the question of why an egg is added to the mix.  Bobby's making the meatballs small...how much you wanna bet that someone makes giganto balls that end up raw in the middle?  And with his being pork...  Anne talks about searing the meatballs before adding chicken stock to cook in order to avoid soggy, sad, limp-looking balls while Dorothy snickers. 

Each of the competitors gets a country, but no recipe.  Fortunately, they do get a basket of ingredients appropriate to the country.  Unfortunately, they're encouraged to taste test...before they've developed a sense of taste and palate.   Dave's now taking bets on who will be the one with the raw meatballs.  My money's on Anthony, since he's the one always rushing at the end.  Erica can't figure out that it helps to take the top off of the food processor to remove the contents.  Vinnie hopes that Rachel will make things easier for him by dropping the ball; Rachel can't even make the ball to be able to drop it!  Aside from the hair, David keeps reminding me of Clay Aiken...I guess it shows that I watched Celebrity Apprentice last night.  Sherrill says Sweden is safe and reminds her of the Alps and skiing, since it's part of Switzerland.  You know, Tiff not knowing where Lebanon is doesn't surprise me, but not knowing that Sweden is a separate country??  Wow, Anthony's done early!  OH, NO, Serena should not be given extra time!!!  She decides to garnish her Spanish meatballs with something like $200 worth of saffron!  Sherrill turns out to be the one with big balls, and Bobby hopes they're cooked.  Dave is going nuts as he sees Sherrill's pink sauce, which he says looks like Pepto Bismol. 

Time for tasting and evaluation.  Erica wants to please the four flavors the tongue can experience, which apparently includes "crunchy."  Anthony wins the Indian meatballs.  Bobby listens to Serena describe her Spanish meatballs and decides as he's laughing that he's quitting all the rest of his jobs to just do this.  Serena beats Bennet despite her waste of saffron.  Both Sherrill and Bob have pink sauce, but it's actually lingonberry, so it isn't as frightening as it looks.  Sherrill thinks she is getting a slap in the face from Bobby for him telling her that her tennis balls are raw.  If you want a slap in the face for raw food, honey, try Gordon Ramsay!  Dave points out that Sherrill is frequently wrong but never in doubt.  Score one for Bob.  Dave says that Rachel's meatballs looked sad...someone has to have sadplate now that Bob is no longer sadface.  Vinnie does not look like he will go home on meatballs, so he will eventually be allowed back into Philly.  Tiff and Melissa show their Lebanese meatballs; Melissa has no flavor, and Tiff wins.  Dorothy and David have a close competition on Greece, but Dorothy wins.  Kelli's goat cheese turns out to have been a better move than it looked at the time, adding flavor and moisture, and she beats Benjamin on France.  Red team beats blue by one country, and we approach elimination.

Dave thinks it's not looking good for Rachel, and I think Sherrill's on the chopping block.  Dorothy wins the day on the red team, and Vinnie on the blue team.  Benjamin avoids being among the bottom two by a hair, leaving Erica and Sherrill hanging.  Rachel and Bennet are on the bottom for the red.  Anne foreshadows her choice by pointing out that Bennet has been showing improvement, and she does indeed send Rachel home.  Erica and Sherrill are told they have very different problems, with Erica being a tornado in the kitchen, and Sherrill is reminded that she came here to learn new skills rather than to repeat what she had been doing.  Sherrill is sent home, and she says that she'll continue cooking, you just watch.  Oh, believe me, I'll be watching the headlines. 

Next week we get Food Network Dance Party!

Food Network Star 8/7/11

As we start watching, Dave has to be as careful as our friend Justin from when he was on Jeopardy because he already knows who's going home.  As a result, we may get less commentary from him; I just hope what we do get from him has his usual level of humor and snark.

Ah, the Iron Chef challenge, where contestants have to become both an Iron Chef and Alton Brown.  Although, as Dave points out, this isn't as hardcore as the real Iron Chef, so it's really more like Aluminum Chef or Zinc Chef.   This time, they do have to do three dishes and judge their opponent's dishes, so maybe it's at least Galvanized Chef.

Because this is Iron Chef, they get sous chefs from the last 4 eliminated.  Mary Beth notes that Penny is back like a horror movie villain, which just sets the stage for her drawing Penny to work with.  The secret ingredient for Vic and Mary Beth is rack of lamb.  Allez cuisine!  Vic wants to make a carpaccio with arugala and balsamic and a lamb patty melt.  Dave isn't sure how well he'll be able to pull the latter off and thinks he needs to make his third dish some sort of chop so he shows he can use all of the rack of lamb.  Mary Beth is doing three different chops: grilled, roasted, and pan seared.  Dave notes, "That's nice, but what are your other two dishes?"  Vic's carpaccio becomes thin-sliced instead of pounded because it was falling apart when he pounded it.  Suzie so far is doing a decent job of commentating on this change.  Vic does resist the temptation to go Vegas on his lamb and stick with Mama's Boy.  Jeff comments on Mary Beth planning an umami explosion.  Alton thinks this is fraught, and Jeff comments that Umami Explosion was the name of his high school band...it was progressive.

Penny is costing Mary Beth time in making sure each chop is just right.  Then again, we learned she was like that during the food truck challenge.  Alton comments about Penny's leisurely pace often leaving to losing, and Penny's facial expression looks very "too bad for her."  Jeff is given the challenge to take the show to commercial, and he rises to the occasion, asking who has the chops to win.  Suzie shows that she still needs to improve on her food knowledge.  Vic triple fries his french fries.  They have crunch, that's for sure...a little too much crunch.  As for the third course, after Bobby is pretty much horrified at using mint jelly, Vic asks, "Why was the mint jelly in the Iron Chef kitchen?"  Dave points out, "It was a distractor, a trap that you, Vic, not only stepped right into, but when it snapped on your leg, you said, 'Oooh, this actually feels good!'"  Mary Beth shows her plan is lamb in different seasons.  She starts with winter and accompanies the lamb with Israeli couscous, commenting that she likes to grill outside in winter.  Like most of MB's dishes, this one needs a little something more.  Her fall dish, pan-seared lamb with pears, needs more finesse.  Her late-winter/early-spring lamb is badly overcooked.  Giada was really having to hack at the lamb, reminding Dave of the disastrous bacon steak from the same challenge last season.  I know the Israelites sacrificed lambs by burning them on the altar, hon, but you don't need to do everything they did even if you do like their couscous!

Ooh, Jeff and Suzie have lobster as their secret ingredient.  Just don't make Chris' cream cheese roll that claimed to have lobster in it.  Suzie is making a ceviche and a lobster stew over a potato cake, as well as a lobster enchilada.  She's concerned about having enough time for the ceviche and describes it as "short-form ceviche."  What have we told you about short-cuts?  Suzie works with the time constraint for her enchilada in an interesting way, using swiss chard to wrap it rather than more time-consuming wrappers.  What I would love to see Jeff do is to make his POV come out without repetitiveness by making a lobster sandwich for each meal of the day.  He could start with a lobster benedict, either calling it an open-faced sandwich or putting English muffin on top as well.  Lunch could be the lobster roll he was already talking about, and dinner could be a fancier lobster sandwich, maybe open-faced on crostini?  Ooh, he's making a BLAT: Bacon Lobster Avocado Tomato, using the avocado in place of mayo for the creaminess.  Or wait, he's not, since there are no avocados.  The judges are ragging on him for planning a main ingredient he doesn't have, but avocados have been present in the pantry most of the time.  He's also making a lobster taco with a fennel-raddichio slaw.  Vic has to explain harissa and can't, although he does at least make Bobby laugh by describing it as the Devil's toothpaste.  MB is doing pretty well in her commentary, as we would expect from a food writer.

Jeff's lobster roll looks mundane, but it tastes great, especially with his addition of walnuts.  Bob tells him that he is cementing his reputation as the Sandwich King, and Susie likes that he is continually expanding the idea of "sandwich" by adding things like tacos.  The lobster was fried in the LBT, but the tempura batter was too thick.  Jeff had to use store-bought mayo (looks like Hellman's) in all 3 dishes, and Giada told him to try adding lemon to mayo, saying it'll change his life.  We'll have to try that.  Suzie's short-form ceviche turns out to be the exception to the rule on short cuts, and she produces three outstanding dishes.  Wow, there's actually nothing to snark on for her!

Evaluation time - cue ominous music here.  I think either Vic or MB is going home.  Overall, I think Vic has done a better job, but they're fairly even today.  Which will the judges use, today's performance or overall performance?  That's going to decide which one goes home.  Susie wins her battle, but I'd put money on them both being safe this week.  Vic wins his battle, which makes him safe.  That's what really seals it, MB is going home.  And I was right.  MB shows a lot of class in her response.  Suzie gives Vic a backhanded fist bump...never seen that before!

I'll be watching the finale live so I can hit Publish Post as soon as the credits roll.  The preview shows that they send someone home after the first challenge to go from three to two rather than keeping three till the last minute like they did the year of Lisa, Adam, and Aaron.

Food Network Star 7/31/11

Busy busy Jessie working hard to catch up on shows.  Well, I can't do much that's active while I'm still recovering from my accident, so you few readers get to benefit.  I just took a pain pill, though, so we'll see how long I'm awake to entertain y'all.

The camera challenge this week is right up my alley: The Best Thing I Ever Ate - Chelsea Market.  I want to visit Chelsea Market the next time I'm in NYC, and the first thing I did to play along with Food Network was choosing the best thing I ever ate to fit each episode's theme.  (Dave: Yeah, no kidding--we've been known to play along with that show at home, though our lack of time spent in New York City seems to be a bit of a handicap.)  Mary Beth thinks she's got an edge in describing her choice thanks to being a food writer...we'll see.  (Dave: Um, talking about a crepe being as thin as ladies' lingerie is NOT exactly appetizing to much of your audience!)  I do like her description of needing to say how the food tastes since people can't lick the tv.  Jeff is the first to fully describe his dish, and, in a typical Jeff move, steals another bite of his Reuben on the way off stage.  Whitney films right after Mary Beth, which wouldn't be an issues except for the fact that they were both talking about crepes from the same stall.  Jeff is on a roll, winning the Rachael Ray star challenge and then the Best Thing camera challenge.

(Dave: Forget whatever it was that Mary Beth said, her appearance on camera on the "set" of the show was absolutely dead on.  Her emotion, her physical movements, everything was just perfect for Best Thing.  Granted, I agree that Jeff should be the winner based on the content of what he said, but Mary Beth's performance shouldn't be underestimated.)

Star Challenge: Roasts.  I hope Bobby gets roasted...I'd love to see that!  That's a new one on us.  Each contestant gets a different protein.  They get 4 hours for prep and cooking...potentially tight, depending on the cut, but a reasonable amount of time.  Vic gets the Vegas staple of prime rib.  Mary Beth gets duck, which she's never worked with before.  At the store, Mary Beth gets a lesson in roasting duck from the butcher, leading the other contestants to wonder if Mary Beth's dish will really belong to her or the butcher. 

Unfortunately, it's the contestants being roasted instead of Bobby.  (Dave: Wait, I thought they promised A-list comedians--what the hell is Louie Anderson doing there?  He sounds like he eternally has his nostrils pinched shut!)  We'll have to see how well the contestants keep their cool during presentation.  (Dave: Well, Vic seemed to get his name confused with his point of view.  A little painful to see after really developing "Mama's Boy.")  Jeff has his head in the right place, remembering that while he used to be a comedian, today he's a chef.  The only question is what the exact joke about his Mojo Monk Headband will be.  Oh, wow, Mary Beth actually managed to do the duck well.  Too bad she comes across as pedantic instead of warm and open in her presentation.  (Dave: It's pretty clear we have no clue what her show concept is from her presentation.  That's a BIG problem.)  Jeff's presentation is good, and we find out that, unlike Dave, Jeff is an Ass Man with his rump roast.  He gets asked what his opening joke was, and Gilbert Gottfried responds that he'd give Jeff a cooking show if only to keep him from ever doing stand-up again!  Ooh, we see Suzie's background during presentation for the first time.  (Dave: It's hard for me not to see her as the big winner here, no offense to Jeff.  She was really from the heart, she had fun with the comedians, and her food, to me, looked the most appealing--just beautiful on the plate!)  Whitney tears up during presentation.  Hmmm, maybe we don't want her to open up after all. One Alicia was enough thankyouverymuch.

Evaluation time.  For the first time, the judges deem everyone's food to meet the expectations they have for a FN star.  Vic is told that he needs to be more Mama's Boy and less Vic Vegas (Dave: ...which is kind of hard to do less of when it's, um, TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM!).  Susie tells Jeff that he was actually kinda sexy!  Jeff sweeps the episode by winning the star challenge, and he, Vic, and Suzie are safe.  (Dave: I'm kinda surprised by this--a different week and Vic wouldn't have been safe, and I don't know what more Suzie really could have done.)  Suzie feels good about having bounced back.  Whitney and Mary Beth face the firing squad.  I'd send home Whitney, but I'd probably end up sending home Mary Beth next weekend.  (Dave: I can believe that, though Mary Beth would certainly have a better chance to get into the final three, I think, with an Iron Chef challenge, particularly on commentary.  A couple weeks ago, it looked like a lock for either Suzie or Vic, but Jeff has really turned things up a notch.)  They can't lose whichever they choose, neither one of them is a star.  (Dave: Comparatively speaking, I'd agree.  It's like the distinction between the Hall of Fame and the Hall of Really Good or Hall of Damn Nice.)  Whitney goes home, and the Final Four is set.  Whitney manages to hold back the tears until the hugging upstairs.

Next week is the Iron Chef battle with returning contestants.  Can you guess who gets stuck with Penny?

Food Network Star 7/24/11

Tonight the contestants will be on the Rachael Ray Show, which Dave notes is always a highlight of the season.  Are you sure that's not just because you enjoy looking at Rachael, dear?  No comment from Dave.  The contestants will be doing demos during both the camera challenge and the star challenge this time. 

The camera challenge is to make a cupcake as an expression of themselves.  Not sure how well Whitney's dish will go over, since she does an adaptation of one of Ina's recipes when she is a judge.  At least it's not taken word for work like one contestant did with a Paula Deen recipe in another season.  Whitney comes out of her shell a little more in this presentation, but will it be enough?  Suzie goes to her roots with a corn cupcake with duck confit slaw.  Jeff takes the sandwich concept too far by putting 5 meats in his cupcake.  At that point, dear, it just tastes like "meat."  Bobby looks dubious, and Bob has to chew it a LOT.  At least he used some sort of recipe, unlike Chris.  Jeff is not the only one putting pancetta in his cupcakes, as Vic turns an Italian tartuffe into a cupcake.  Jyll chooses to use only orange and chocolate, saying she likes to use simple, bold flavors.  I hope you make them good and bold, hon, because it they're not, they'll fade away and so will you.  Jyll is still too rehearsed during presentation.  Mary Beth has what I (and the judges) think is the best idea, roasted strawberry cupcakes.  Definitely looking forward to experimenting along those lines myself. 

The Rachael Ray star challenge is more difficult than in previous years, starting with a 30-second intro and then requiring the contestants to field questions from the audience while they are doing their demos.  This does not end well, as 2 of the contestants completely forget about fielding questions.  The contestants have to reinvent classic dishes.  Jeff breaks out the Monk Mojo Headband...too bad he didn't use that while he was making his cupcakes.  Vic shows his Italian roots by calling the marinara sauce "gravy" as he makes his lasagna.  Mary Beth changes shepherd's pie to have the mashed potatoes on the bottom and a layer of carrot puree on top.  It looks amazing, and Dave and I both agree that we need to try that the next time we make shepherd's pie.  At the same time, Jyll reinvents meatloaf by putting mashed potatoes on top...thus making it into a beef shepherd's pie.  Oops. 

When they get onstage, Whitney is nervous and forgets her story but gets a lucky break when a contestant's question gives her an opening.  Mary Beth's intro is good except for the fact that she uses the Same. Gesture. Every. Two. Seconds.  Vic shows he's a class act by giving tips to the people who present after him.  Whitney gets stage-struck.  Dave comments that the more cameras are around, the easier it is to get intimidated.  He would know, after having hosted High School Bowl for a couple of years.  Suzie commits the mortal sin of turning her back to the camera.  Jyll gets pressed about how her POV is different from what's already there on FN, and she crashes and burns, possibly sealing her fate for the night.  Jeff seems perfectly natural on stage for once, and he does the best job of anyone of playing off of Rachael.  Plus, that pork chop looks amazing as he pulls the bone right off. 

In the end, Jyll did seal her fate and gets to go home.  Her heart just didn't seem to be in it, especially not tonight.  In some ways, it almost seemed like she was the second coming of Amy Findley.  Next week, we get Gilbert Gottfried.  Is this his first appearance since he stopped being the AFLAC duck?  We see the beginnings of a battle for who can take the heat.  When I was in high school, the manliness test was who could eat a Taco Bell taco with more Fire sauce packets on it.  Dave comments that the Fire sauce isn't actually hot, but it is for a bunch of high schoolers who have never seen a habanero! 

Food Network Star 7/17/11

We're trying out some new technology over here at SnarkFood, seeing if we can save some trees by recording our reactions instead of writing them down.

The episode is just beginning and already Penny is making people uncomfortable.  Let me take a moment and be shocked.  OK, moment over. I realized that Will, the person on Hell's Kitchen that I thought I recognized from another show, was just reminding me of Jeff from FNS.  Whitney's losing confidence again, and she's on the phone with her boyfriend.  He's telling her to just be herself and let the great person that she is shine through, and I decide that I officially love him.  He earns major Boyfriend Points for that move.  Dave remembers that Whitney had been getting advice from her mom a couple of episodes before.

Today marks Midterms for our lovely (and not-so-lovely) contestants, with a double elimination coming at the end.  Camera Challenge is for each contestant to make their signature dish and demo it on camera.  There's a twist this time, though: each contestant is given a specific thing to work on during their demo.  Suzie is told that she needs to focus. Jyll is told to surprise them and decides to surprise herself in the process.  Mary Beth needs to own her food and talk about it like it belongs to someone else.  Vic is told to be more of an expert.  His show is currently called "Mama's Boy" and has a shit-tastic bib-based logo. Chris is making gnocchi...not sure that's gonna end well. Penny sets something besides men's hearts on fire at the end of prep.  Dave points out that she has the ability to be relatable like she was in the Fourth of July episode, but she doesn't really use that ability.  During prep, Jeff appears to be having too much fun with the Slap Chop.  Uh oh, he's sauteeing peas...I hope he learned from Carissa not to pea on the floor.  "Or make any ball jokes," Dave adds.  

During demo, Jyll goes from not having a plan to having one that falls somewhat flat.  Whitney shines as she talks about her yellow gazpacho.  I comment, "Whitney was in a sorority?  We're not surprised!"  She's always been perky.  Here comes Chris with gluey gnocchi, trying to tell the viewers how to do everything in one minute.  Although he tried to do too much and wasn't able to focus, he did manage to end his spiel perfectly on the one-minute mark.  Jeff tries to be warmer by lowering his voice and succeeds only in putting us to sleep.  Mary Beth can't tell us what's uniquely hers about her spaghetti and meatballs.  Suzie demonstrates making tortillas but needs some more focus.  Dave comments that she's teaching us to eat a raw tortilla, but she did actually put it in the pan for a bit.  Penny isn't descriptive enough in her demo, telling the viewer to "put this in here."  What's this and where's here?  Once again, Penny's food is great and her personality sucks.  The selection committee tells her that's not gonna fly at Food Network, but the question is, how desperate are they for a Middle Eastern chef?  Vic is so busy telling us about the ingredients of his food that he doesn't get any actual cooking done.  Suddenly it hits Dave, "Speaking of sending people home, where's Susie been?"  Maybe they want to avoid confusion between contestant-Suzie and judge-Susie?

Dave is surprised at Whitney being named the clear winner.  I comment that the judges loved her food, and Dave replies, "Well, maybe I need to rewind and lick the tv then!"  I don't think he'd enjoy that very much...too much dust to go with the little zap.  Dave, can you describe how a little zap tastes?  Whitney wasn't necessarily the best on camera, but she did the best job at doing exactly what the judges told her to focus on.  As we cut to commercial, we see a clip where Mary Beth actually has her arm around Penny.  I guess forcing them together worked!

As we come back from commercial, there's a knock at the door of the house, and Jeff comments that, "No one ever knocks on our door except the pizza guy."  I guess after all that cooking on camera they don't want to cook at home, but I could see off-camera cooking being an effective intimidation technique if done well.  The contestants are told they are making one course each for the judges (including Susie this time) and Wolfgang Puck.  They are limited to the ingredients that are in the house at the time, leading Dave to call it the Five Ingredient Fix Challenge.  Whitney assigns the courses, and Chris hopes he doesn't get dessert...which of course he does.  Let's hope he can do better than the cakes for the dessert channel.  Penny and Mary Beth go shopping with Whitney and find it to be a Universal Female Bonding Experience.

Suzie improvises on her cheese course based on her knowledge that a kind of Latin American cheese can actually be approximated with feta.  Chris decides to bake cake without any recipe but the one for disaster.  Even when I've created my own recipe for a baked good, I've at least started with a couple of recipes and combined them together, and even then it didn't come out quite right the first time.  This isn't the time to try and slide by on "not quite right!"  Whitney lets people do what they want rather than taking control as the team leader...that didn't end well for Jyll and I doubt it'll end well for Whitney either. 

Since Mary Beth is going shopping, Chris can get at least some of his baking done before Mary Beth needs the oven if he moves his butt.  Chris accuses other contestants of sabotage for changing the oven temperature.  Chris, the Paranoia Help Line is free, Penny's off of it!  Besides, if you're working without a recipe, you have no right to bitch about what temperature the oven is.  Jyll is having issues with her risotto and refuses Whitney's advice, which is interesting given her later wail of, "Why didn't anyone stop me?" 
Mary Beth thinks her dish will be great because she writes about food so well.  You know, I'm a food blogger now, too, but that doesn't mean I can cook well enough to be the next Food Network star.  With five minutes left, Jeff puts on his headband.  Uh oh, that means everything he did up till now will be ruined because he didn't have his Mojo Monk Headband on!  Dave comments, "Hey, if that's all he needs to get his confidence up, more power to him."  That's true, but still, if you give us something to snark on, we're going to snark on it.  At the end of their cooking time, the contestants cheer and open a bottle of champagne.  Jyll, I'm not sure you should be the one opening that champagne, thinking about that risotto, hon.  Dave points out, "It did look better than some of those risottos I saw last night on Hell's Kitchen, though."  True, but that's not saying much.

Jeff comes back with a perfect presentation of his beef carpaccio.  Vic presents well, although he has a stance like a drill sergeant.  Mary Beth owns her dish and talks it up, but her food doesn't live up to the star billing.  Even Bobby says it has a little too much cayenne pepper.  Penny is surprisingly warm and teaches us a bit of Farsi in her presentation, which I enjoy because the last time I learned any Farsi it was in Not Without my Daughter in middle school.  Jyll gets a crash course in making risotto from Wolfgang Puck.  A sweet corn risotto does sound good, but it needs to actually be made right.  I do like Puck taking the time to show her how to do it, even if she is embarrassed, rather than just telling her, "This sucks and you're screwed."  Puck tells Jyll to always use a small pan, which is interesting given how much success I had making risotto in a wok.  Jyll holds it together and keeps herself from bursting into tears like Alicia, and Susie says it still seems fake to her.  Jyll, don't give up after one bomb...at least you didn't break/cut your finger on camera like Mario Batali.  Whitney continues her improvement in what will hopefully be enough to keep her safe.  Suzie wows the crowd with her feta-filled chile relleno.  Chris says twice during his presentation that he's not very familiar with dessert, and Bobby puts his finger to his head like a gun.  I'm sure that Chris is going home, and Dave adds, "Chris, why don't you just throw yourself in the pool while you're at it?"  Hey, if it's as hot there as it has been here... 

At least when Julia Child apologized on camera, it was with the idea of brushing the food off and going on.  "No excuses!"  Unlike Chris, Suzie did not apologize for her food even when she didn't have the right ingredients, even when she was being interrogated by the judges after the dessert battle about her churro pancakes.  Dave agrees that Chris is going home but adds, "Jyll, Jyll, I like you a lot, girl, but you're in trouble."  Good thing for Jyll that, since it's midterms, they're looking at everything so far and not just performance in this episode.  They keep showing Jyll with her face in her hands, but we think that's in surprise at not getting sent home.  Honey, just keep it together in the evaluation room and don't be like Alicia.  They also keep showing the judges saying, "You're going home," and then cutting to a shot of Vic, which almost guarantees that they're not cutting him. 

Whitney is told in evaluation that she still needs to reach out more.  She's made progress and won't go home this weekend, but she won't win either.  Suzie is asked to share more about herself and cries as she tells the group about her upbringing and how hard she had to work to get to and through culinary school.  At this point, I think Suzie's the frontrunner.  We get reminded about Jeff's All-Bran joke...I really didn't need to be reminded of it.  He gets asked about why he didn't make a sandwich and replied that he wanted to please Wolfgang Puck instead of doing a sandwich.  What I would have loved to see would have been the carpaccio wrapped around something and called an Inside-Out Sandwich.  Penny is told to open up and let more of herself out, and Dave wonders whether there is anything else in there to let out.  Aside from drama?  I'm not sure.  Giada just looks annoyed at Chris, and Bobby smacks him down like a red-headed stepchild for the lobster wrap.  As he continues, Bobby even sounds like the parent of a recalcitrant teenager!  As they get ready to eliminate people, Dave and I both think Chris and Mary Beth are heading out the door.  Jyll, Chris, Mary Beth, and Penny are the ones up for elimination.  Dave comments that at least Chris has gotten better from "Get the %^&* off my tv."  Still, I do hope he gets the *(%& off my tv for good tonight.  Bobby comments in the private deliberations about Chris coming off as confident.  To me, Chris doesn't come across as confident so much as brash.  Chris is sent home and then we get to see whether Penny and Mary Beth get to say BFFs or not.  We think that next they'll tell Penny she's safe, but instead they tell Mary Beth she's safe.  Dave notices that Bobby looks like he doesn't agree with that decision. "That's just the most miserable expression I've ever seen on his face, even when he was getting his ass whipped by Morimoto in Iron Chef Japan.  He doesn't want to see Penny go.  He loves her food and doesn't want to let her go."  Yep, Penny goes home.  She says, "I'm glad I got an opportunity to bring my culture and my food to the Food Network."  Penny, you showed that the Food Network needs your culture and your food.  They just need someone who's not a bitch to do it.  Dave disagrees about her being a bitch, saying she just needs to open up.  "The closest she ever got to being open was back at the beginning of the season when she was trying to sex things up with Stilettos in the Kitchen, and that was just a disaster conceptually."

So, six of them left.  Is there anyone other than Suzie or Vic that looks like they could be a winner in this group?  Dave thinks that Jyll doesn't stand out enough, especially when compared to Melissa d'Arabian.  I want Suzie to win at this point.  I like Vic a lot, but in terms of bringing something new, Vic is like Guy Fieri and Michael Symon rolled into one.  I don't know if that one woman who had a Latin American cooking show is off the air now or just relegated to weekend mornings, but I like the way Suzie does it.  Vic makes American food.  He does it special, he does it Vegas-style, but he makes American food.  There's not enough ethnic food on the Food Network.  There's plenty of things where I can learn new techniques, but I would learn a lot more that's new to me from someone like Suzie or Penny (I would say Debbie, but I already know that soy sauce and garlic are Korean!).  Mary Beth still looks to Dave like she'll be the next one to go.  Whitney's improving, but she won't last to the end.  Jeff's doing something new that's not on Food Network now, but he's not a frontrunner.  Dave thinks he could end up as a dark horse, but we have seen the dark horse win before...look at Aaron McCargo, Jr.

Next week they're on Rachel Ray and we see from the preview that Mary Beth likes a good bone.  Not sure what to make of that, but we'll see.

Food Network Star 7/10/11

First of all, I have to apologize for the long hiatus between recaps.  We've been a bit busy over here in SnarkLand, between a vacation, a wedding, a conference, countless hours of driving, and several hours of not driving after I totaled my car (I'm relatively ok).

Now that we have that out of the way, let's fire up the Wayback Machine and go all the way back to July 10.  This episode weaves the Camera Challenge and Star Challenge together as the contestants make commercials for the food trucks they are later running.  So, my first thought is, how did food trucks get so popular?  When I think of food trucks, I think of the mobile taquerias and pupusa stands in Langley Park, not gourmet and Food Network, but there have been food trucks on everything from their own FN show to Celebrity Apprentice.

As the teams get randomly chosen, Mary Beth and Penny end up together again.  Let's see if they can make nice two weeks in a row.  Vic decides that his take on this project is going to be to "stick to originality but infuse something new," and Dave and I wonder, isn't originality the same thing as something new?  Only difference is that "originality" doesn't rhyme with "something blue!"  Jeff the Silly Sandwich King decides that his team is missing Chris' frat-boy sense of humor and names their truck Balls on a Roll.  Dave wonders if his team is going to have enough good ideas to make the theme work. 

The teams each shoot their commercial, and we learn what Orchid's crutch phrase is as she uses "really great" three times in about 20 seconds.  Penny cozies up enough to Chris in their wrap truck commercial to make Dave ask, "Is that the only thing you want to wrap up, Penny?"  Penny actually gives compliments in this episode, which makes me wonder what her scheme is.  During the shopping, Whitney buys canned cooked chickpeas instead of raw ones for her falafel balls, forgetting Food Network Star Lesson #1: Shortcuts Generally Fail.  Later, Whitney is saying, "I hope it works out," and Dave replies, "Don't worry, you're obsessing about it, so it won't."

The diners each have to choose which truck they are going to eat from, which makes for an interesting dynamic as the truck name and commercials are all they have to go by.  As two of the trucks have long lines and the third has no line, I start to wonder later in the episode if people are allowed to change lines once they choose. Bobby clearly enjoys the first two commercials, but I wonder about whether he'll laugh at the Balls on a Roll clip.  He does end up laughing, but it comes across as more of the incredulous laugh you have when someone has a Facebook status that you sincerely hope is made up.

During this episode, we learn that Jeff's red headband was blessed by a monk in Indiana.  No wonder it collects mojo!  Jeff gives headbands to Whitney and Suzie so they look like a team, but I think Whitney's needs a little more mojo.  Over at the wrap truck, Mary Beth says that her chicken wrap is "completely delicious," but we think it's "completely boring."  Penny's taking FOREVER with prep, to the point where she doesn't have a single wrap close to ready when the diners arrive.  A huge line forms as the diners wait for her filet wraps, and Mary Beth shows herself to be a real team player by going out and walking up and down the line engaging the customers and keeping them cheerful despite the wait.  If people are allowed to change lines, Mary Beth's efforts here are especially important.  Jeff's balls weren't getting a lot of action, so his "line" probably looked more tempting the hungrier people got.  Chris gets a little overshadowed in the wrap truck until the judges come around.  Chris calls his lobster wrap "a nice butter-poached lobster with a little cream cheese."  Problem is, it's actually a little lobster with a ton of cream cheese.  Chris describes it as being like crab rangoon; Dave thinks this is appropriate since he never notices the seafood in those either. 

We haven't seen a whole lot of Orchid so far, and this continues as the judges arrive.  Orchid, honey, the way to make an impression on the selection committee is not to punt to Vic when asked about your food!  Dave thinks Orchid will be safe from elimination, not on her own merits, but because Vic and Jyll will keep this from being the losing truck and because she had the strongest of the weakest three dishes.  "Jeff's food will save him.  Same for Penny, despite being so late with it.  Right now, I could see Chris or Whitney going home."  Let's see how correct Dave's prediction ends up being. 

Before judging, Jeff says, "I think this will be my lowest point so far."  I don't think so, Jeff, because your food was good. (I initially typed "goof" there, which would work for Jeff or Chris!)  Dave notes that, "Penny, what sucks is that you would be a standout without the attitude."  When evaluating the fusion truck, Giada says, "It's fun to see, Vic, how you've grown."  Dave chimes in with, "Yeah, plus you're actually serving food now!."  Whereas Orchid "coulda been a contenda" if she had just grown during the last few weeks instead of remaining stagnant.

The bottom three are Mary Beth (despite the overabundance of cream cheese in Chris' wrap), Orchid, and Whitney.  Dave thinks, "It's either Orchid or Whitney.  The big thing is that they're very clearly getting impatient with Whitney.  She'll go home and Orchid will be next if she doesn't do something next week."  While the judges deliberate, Giada says about Whitney, "Sometimes, when someone's trying to figure out who they are, they try on a lot of extremes," and I reply, "Like Justin D?"  Dave adds, "Look how that worked for him." 

Dave comments, "I think they're being a little unfair to Orchid. Sure, she doesn't have a strong personality, but look at where the winner is starting out. Vic, with a little tweaking, could almost do Triple D right now.  Orchid is the one who can teach you how to make a certain style of food in the kitchen.  She's closer than the selection committee is giving her credit for."  Yeah, but she doesn't have the personality of a Melissa or an Aarti or a Jyll.  In the end, Orchid is eliminated.  Well, Dave, you did think Orchid was going home next week if she didn't bring something major."

We'll see how quickly I can get my stuff together to write another recap.  Dave and I started experimenting with having a digital voice recorder running while we watch the show instead of writing all of out comments down, and we'll have to see how the sound quality works out.

Food Network Star 7/3/11

At least tonight I don't have a cat on my notes, even if I do have one on my lap!

Before we get to the challenges on 7/3, we see a few scenes at the house.  Whitney is having a crisis of confidence and discusses it with her mother, who gives her the advice to be herself and "just enjoy every single minute of every single day."  Penny rants about how the girls don't like her while Dave says, "Uh, hello, paranoia? It's for you."  This continues later in the episode, and Jyll points out to Penny some of the behaviors that are alienating her from the others.  I find it rather amusing that Penny's complaining about all the drama when she's the one causing it!  Don't complain about the alienation if you're not willing to do anything to get along with other people.

The Camera Challenge is to film segments of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.  This might be the first Camera Challenge since the show format split like that to not have a cooking-based Camera Challenge and to not announce a winner before the Star Challenge.  As the segments are described, Dave initially thinks, "Oh, please, give me the opening!  Or at least not interviewing the server."  Then he hears the time limits and says, "Geez, 15 seconds.  On second thought, I'll interview a chef, please!"

Susie has the opening segment and immediately earns a personal foul for inappropriate use of the hands - too much gesturing.  Chris starts out his interview bouncing like a bobblehead, and Guy seems like he teaches a lot more and a lot more effectively than most of the other stars who appear on the show.  When interviewing the owner, Mary Beth is way too stiff and Orchid thinks that this task doesn't have anything to do with food.  It's all about food, honey, you just need to find the connection.  Justin D tries to act like Guy when Guy encourages him to show more personality. During one of the takes, Guy says to him, "You've got 4 seconds left, what are you going to do with it?"  My thought: "Put in another double-negative?"

Penny keeps bringing the focus to herself during her interview of Piper the waitress, continually interrupting and asking about what she wants to talk about, and one of the other competitors points out that "Penny doesn't care about highlighting anyone but Penny."  She says afterwards that, "I feel like the interview with Piper didn't go the way I wanted [it] to."  Dave replies, "Why? Because it wasn't about you? You can't interview yourself!"

Star Challenge: Creative All-American Foods, as sponsored by MGD 64.
Dave's response: "Let's see how well we can lie about MGD 64 being our friend."

Chris doesn't look like he bought enough shrimp to feed 150, but we'll see.  I like Jeff's use of the beer, but I don't think Mary Beth's dish is unique enough.  Jyll should know by now that even if you're not used to a certain cuisine, you can't ask others for advice on an individual challenge!  Orchid hopes her brisket will magically become tender with just 2 hours of cooking.  I doubt that'll work any better than my magic therapy wand.

As we get to the food festival, the competitors learn that they will be the entertainment as they each demo their dish.  Susie's back among the judges this week, and Dave is glad to see it, "not that I minded looking at Giada last week!"

As Susie starts her demo, she makes us both nervous as she stands in front of the table talking rather than cooking.  She does finish on time, without even looking like she is hurrying.  Jeff plays around with a guitar and jumps off of the stage at the end.  From Dave: "Really, Jeff, again? You're gonna go big, ball of fire and all that? You're gonna get burned one day, son."  To me, Jeff looks like he's had too much MGD 64.  And why start out making us look at your butt?  Vic starts and ends well, but Dave points out that, "I think Vic missed an opportunity in the middle, where he could have answered my question of, 'What's an aioli?'"  Whitney makes her own ketchup, and Dave likes.  "What a nice, easy-to-demonstrate thing to present.  Now I want to make my own ketchup at home!"

Thanks to Mary Beth's presentation, we now have 2 episodes in a row with a mention of the idea of Bobby without pants on!  Maybe that's what Food Network Nighttime really ought to be!!  Dave wonders whether this episode was originally filmed on No Pants Day.

Before evaluation, Jyll has a solo moment on camera where she talks about her dish and the other competitors.  I'm getting sick of the "I didn't want to compete" line from her.  Also, Jyll, it's not up to you to judge other people's motives.

Given the yelling between the women, it looks like the competitors listen when they're told not to hold back during evaluation!  Justin D explains the problems with showing his personality by saying that he's a private person.  If you're a private person, why do you want to be on tv?  Penny complains about not feeling cared for, but honey, this isn't the place to find love!  (Or sex, for that matter...we are ALL glad you got off of the sex in the kitchen kick.)  Aside from the judges telling Penny that she had 2 bad performances, there was no real mention of the camera challenge at all during evaluation.  It was almost like it had never happened!

So, Dave, what do you think about Susie telling Chris that, "We want to see more of you"?  "For an episode and a half, I haven't said, 'Chris, get off my tv.'  I think he's really taken the comments to heart, and even though I'm not big on his antics and actions in the kitchen and the frat boy stuff he still does there, when he's in front of the judges or the public, he looks a LOT better."

We'll see when Dave and I are able to watch and blog about the episode on 7/10, given that we'll be on vacation at the time.

Food Network Star 6/26/11

Last night, Dave and I watched the last 2 episodes of Food Network Star.  Since he's working extra hours this week, I'll be posting his comments as well as mine again.

Camera Challenge: Bite-Sized Kelloggs with Michael Symon

Susie has a crush on Michael, and Vic might as well be looking in a mirror, with them sharing what Michael calls "caveman good looks."  Chris was more natural than ever...quite the turnaround!  We'll see how long it lasts.  I was impressed with both Whitney and Vic as they used a bare pantry as an explanation for them using the Kelloggs products in their bites.  Jyll did an effective job of explaining why her bite is so good; this has been a camera challenge in past seasons.

That was the good (mostly), now for the bad and the ugly.  Justin D needs to learn to enunciate, as it sounds like he is saying his bite tastes like human.  Oh, you actually said cumin!  Darn it, I was hoping to learn what Soylent Green actually tastes like.  Justin B has almost a monotone.  He is praised for his food but asked if he can communicate it to a viewer; Dave responds, "No! We already know that!"  Jeff tells us that he wants to make the Iron Chef laugh...uh oh.  It appears my premonition was right; he makes a joke about All-Bran keeping you regular.  Didn't we learn from Corissa in Season 2 not to discuss bodily functions on camera?

Star Challenge: Cooking for Cougartown

Penny likes the idea of this even more than Chris does!  "Being a cougar myself..."  Dave: "Do you REALLY want to admit that on tv??"  Jyll embraces the challenge (for her) of vegetarian "cooking," saying she doesn't want to be seen as a one-trick pony.  I'm glad she sees the danger of that; it's good for her ability to stay to the end.  What's not good for her staying power is making a salad for vegetarians.

As we get to shopping, Chris thinks he's focused.  We'll see.  If nothing else, Chris, haven't you learned from other shows that stuff never thaws when you think it will??  As Justin D can't find the ingredients he wants, he gets flustered and gets 2 bags of quinoa instead of 10 for (I think) Whitney's stuffed peppers.  Jeff can't find any ground meat for his lettuce wraps and decides at the last minute to go with tofu, saying, "I'll do something outrageous and either rise to the top or go down in flames."  Dave tells Jeff that he can't afford to go down in flames, and I reply that he hasn't really been rising to the top either.

When they're hanging out at the house at night, Chris goes raccoon hunting and Vic throws a pool float at him, saying, "Don't mess with my friend the raccoon!"  No wonder you're friends, you're both striped!  The next morning arrives, and Susie's practicing in front of the mirror.  Dave reminds her that it can't be over-rehearsed (because of course, they can all hear the advice he and I give!). 

Orchid has a method for calming Chris, saying "Code Blue" when he gets out of hand.  Unfortunately for Dave, she's not always there.  "Chris, did you just call her the Orchinator? Seriously?  Again, get off my tv!"  While the camera is on Chris and Orchid, I am wondering who left a box in the middle of the kitchen floor.  The spice rub Chris put on the lamb looks good enough to tempt me, and I don't even like lamb!  Predictably, though, the lamb is not thawed.

Whitney shows a great deal of insight as she points out that Justin D's original plan seems to be haunting him/  Jeff notes that he's having second thoughts on what he's making, and Dave says, "You never had first thoughts on what you're making!"  Justin B says that he's looking at the Israeli couscous under his tuna as a texture piece rather than for smack-you-in-the-face flavor.  Problem is, on this show, you need smack-you-in-the-face flavor. 

They get ready to go to the set, and Paula Deen comes on as the surprise guest.  She gets called the Ultimate Cougar, and Dave and I debate this.  One the one hand, she is married to a guy her age, but on the other, she does like to flirt with younger guys...just ask Tim Hudson!  She also likes flirting with Bobby, between Paula's Party and this episode.  Paula tells the competitors, "Don't edit yourself.  That's what the edit room's for."  Uh oh.  Dave says, "Let's edit that, Paula. You mean don't edit your energy, right?  Because everybody already has plenty else to edit."  I shudder to think what Chris will make of that advice.  Dave replies, "At least radio host and know-nothing Howie isn't with us."  As they go to the set, the advantage of this being a written media is that y'all didn't have to hear Dave sing, "Won't you take me to Cougartown."

The mojo-collecting headband doesn't seem to be helping Jeff much as he tries to sell his group on the tofu, which is too bad since it turns out to be really good.  Justin B says during presentation that the couscous may be a little bland.  Dave: "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? YOU MORON!"  He then adds, "Casting called.  Justin B, you've been traded to Top Chef...for 3 boxes of red onions."  I ask, "How about for 8 more bags of quinoa?"  Dave: "I guess that would be small enough to carry back to the wagon."  OK, so we've played too much Oregon Trail over the years.  Justin B also offers white balsamic to wake up the dish.  If it would wake up the dish, why didn't you make it part of the dish for everyone?

I expected Chris to be the one to screw up the plan for the presentation, not Orchid, but she got all starstruck.  Bobby says about Chris that "today he didn't do anything ridiculous."  Justin D gets called a sexy Harry Potter Chef.  Really??

Penny's claws come back out in the evaluation.  Dave asks if they ever went in, but she did hide them for much of this episode as she and Mary Beth played nice.  We see that Jeff's gamble paid off and that he did actually rise to the top.  Giada says to Justin B that, "We've seen glimmers of a personality that we like, but you're not moving fast enough."  Dave, having absorbed some degree of Terp-ness from me: "Diamondback terrapins move faster!"  Across JFK runway they do!

I was going to post our reactions to the episode from 7/3 tonight, but I was delayed by an 18 pound cat on my notes.  So instead, you'll have to wait till tomorrow night.  Ciao!

Food Network Star 6/19/11

I'm posting the comments from both myself and Dave, since Dave is out of town.  I know I'm an episode behind, but we just watched this episode on Wednesday and it seemed like a good one to start with.


So, our fearless (except for Alicia) contestants enter a new day of competition having lost two players instead of one in the last episode.  Their Camera Challenge is using chocolate candies of different sorts in savory entrees.  Our first reaction: Susie plus mole should equal WIN, but will it?  In the end it does, but not as much as Jyll's coconut shrimp, which wins her the right to choose her team for the Star Challenge.  We also learn that Jeff has a mojo-collecting headband to avoid sweating into his food like he did in the last episode.

Between the challenges, Chris tries to help another player (Vic, I believe) to regroup for the Star Challenge, saying, "Just get pissed off and do better."  I generally think Chris is an idiot, but he actually gave some good advice there.

For the Star Challenge, Duff and Robert Irvine challenge teams to make desserts, with 2 collective desserts per team and one dessert per person.  Robert directs his team to create over-the-top impossible desserts with interesting flavor combinations.  Duff, channeling the little boy inside of him as usual, directs his team to create sophisticated desserts that a 6-year-old would love.  Jyll gets to choose not only her team, but which challenge her team will face.  Jyll takes Duff's challenge and picks all of the girls except Penny, leaving her and the boys on the other team and creating the teams I then called Queen Bees and Wannabes.

The Queen Bees and the Wannabes end up with vastly different leadership styles between them that highlight the differences often seen between men and women on teams.  The Queen Bees fall into a collaborative pattern where they each add to the ideas and focus on how much fun they had together.  This works well in terms of coming up with ideas, but not as well in the kitchen, where Orchid and others feel that leadership is lacking.  The Wannabes, on the other hand, struggle some over who is the leader.  Chris tries to take charge and be everywhere and doing everything, but Justin B and others on the team have the attitude of, "He may think he's the leader, but I don't care what he says."  Chris is in the middle of everything and not doing a good job of keeping ANYTHING clean or making his food or his contribution to the collaborative dish.  When Chef Robert comes in and sees the kitchen, he fires Chris from the leadership role.  Robert gets called "the swift hammer of justice" here, which is amusing given that on Dinner: Impossible he tries to avoid the swift hammer of justice by completing his tasks!  The team nominates Justin B, who shows a very different leadership style, coordinating tasks rather than being in the middle of all of them.  Figures that I'd end up talking about leadership on the first real post, when the main contributors so far are an advisory chair, a section chair, and the national president of a service fraternity that has leadership as a cardinal principle.  I guess I never really end up getting that far away from APO no matter what I do!

Dave had a couple of priceless comments about the desserts that people made.  Although they ended up as pancakes due to a lack of frying oil, Susie originally tried to make churros.  This led to Dave saying that we would have "a little Benicio del Churro action" on the Duff team.  Also, when Robert came to inspect the Wannabes, he asks Chris what's impossible about his dish.  Dave, speaking as Chris: "What's impossible is that I don't have the skill to pull it off."

The teams go back home to destress before the evaluation, and the girls use an ingredient that Dave finds inferior.  "Box wine?  Seriously?  I don't care if it's for sangria!"

During the evaluation, the Wannabes win and are all safe for that week.  Dave's reaction to this: "Well, Chris, you got lucky.  Your team bailed you out.  And now I have to look at you on my tv for another week."  Justin B is criticized again for his lack of personality, and Bob tells him, "I'm waiting for you to come out of your shell.  Is that something you want to do?"  Dave replies for Justin, "No."  I think Dave's right, looking at the look on his face when Bob asked that.

During the evaluation of the Queen Bees, Dave thinks that Susie is being unfair in saying that she doesn't see Orchid growing as a competitor.  "Susie wants to see her growing, but how can she grow when she's already so good?"  My response was that, for the people that survive to the end, this is the ultimate training program.  Orchid does still have some weaknesses (canned oysters, anyone?), and Susie would like to see her work on them.  Dave: "Being the frontrunner in the beginning is dangerous!  Then again, it did work well for Aarti last season."

When they evaluate Jyll, the Big Three criticize her lack of leadership in the Star Challenge, reminding her of what she has said in the past about not being competitive and asking whether she has the desire to win.  Jyll defends this by essentially saying that she does not want to be like Penny in the last episode.  Dave: "See, now Jyll starts to get it...or not.  She really doesn't want to be cut-throat.  Cut-throat is digging through the trash and seeing all your competitors' food in there.  Competitive is wanting to win but doing it graciously...enough.  Maybe she doesn't have that at all."

In the end, Alicia goes home and tears up again.  I know that if I were ever on the show (not that it's likely to happen, but a girl can dream, right?), I'd have problems with self-confidence and tearing up too easily.  The ultimate question is, would I end up like Aarti or Alicia?

At the end, we have the group preparing for the next week, a little commercial clip with Jyll, and scenes from 6/26.  Chris says he's going to do better next time, and Dave says, "Chris, didn't you say that same thing last week?  Please, Chris, go the f*&% to sleep!!."  As Jyll repeats words too many times in her clip, Dave decides, "Jyll, I'm starting to love love love you a little less less less."  We learn that the next week involves cooking for the cast of Cougar Town, a frat boy's dream, and Dave asks, "Hey, Chris, think you can handle it?"

As soon as we or any other authors get a chance to watch the episode from 6/26, we'll put up a new post.  Until next time, boys and girls!