I'm more on top of things tonight, or at least not falling asleep, so we get this episode on time! As we left last time, Michelle was commenting on being the last woman standing, and that's how we begin this episode. Honey, if you can't do better than last week, you won't be standing much longer once Dom and Alex fall.
Giada starts by asking the contestants what they like for breakfast/brunch. I'm sure there are men watching all across the country who would kill to have Giada asking what they want for breakfast! Unfortunately for them, it's just a precursor to the challenge, where they have to make breakfast in 20 minutes that can be taken to go, so no utensils. Cut out to Brian Boitano saying, "I get it, I'm a busy soccer mom..." Is that your persona? I guess there are people who may like that, but I don't usually think of a soccer mom look when I think of a drag queen. Granted, I can't say I've been to many drag shows lately (okay, ever), so there's a lot I don't know about drag queens, but still.
This challenge does at least play to Alex's strengths, but we'll see what the others do. Football Eddie is crusting a steak in uncooked grits. We'll see how that works. I don't usually just pick up a steak and eat it unless I'm at Renn Fest. Lenny Jr. puts his andouille hash into a taco shell, Brian Boitano turns his hash into a wrap filling and Michelle makes her quiches mini so they can be hand held. Dom wants us to eat a poached egg in the car, because everyone wants to go into an important meeting at work with egg yolk streaking their shirt. He tells Bobby to poke it first, which sounds more like what he'd like to do to Giada.
Brian Boitano starts his presentation by saying he cooks with a lot of boys who love bacon. That's just too easy. He also says the ladies love it, which I didn't know he cared about. Mama Michelle starts thinking about her kids and gets sidetracked enough to start babbling. To hear her talk, she picks her kids up from school on Sundays and then sips mimosas with them. To top off her stellar performance, she forgot to salt her quiches. So your food was as bland as your presentation last week. Not a winning strategy. Good thing you already got to be the last girl, because that seems to be the last thing you'll be known for. Sandwich King made a sandwich that you can't pick up and eat and made chipped beef with fresh chorizo that Giada compares to baby food. Hmmmmm, maybe I should start making Patrick some baby food with chorizo! His presentation is heartfelt, but that won't save him for long. Eddie Football scores big with his presentation but fumbles his food as the grits get lost. Lenny's tacos earn him the win and the as-yet-unnamed advantage in the next challenge.
Richard Blais comes in to introduce a food truck throwdown, and Dom knows he's come home. The contestants are divided into three teams and Lenny gets to choose the theme for each team between burgers, tacos, and grilled cheese. They also get to create a side dish. Oh, and they get to make a video to draw people in. Do we get to see Lenny Jr. as a monster like Lenny Sr.? Dom says he does social media all the time to advertise his food truck. How does he manage the spotlight for that?? Brian Boitano and Lenny have burgers, Alex and Dom have tacos, and Eddie and Michelle have grilled cheese. Brian Boitano and Lenny decide to call theirs Asian Cajun Burger Boys. Stick it between the buns? Alex wants to get into some slapstick comedy with their video and truck name. We might as well just ask right now which one of them is going home.
Brian Boitano and Lenny Jr. are making their video, and Brian Boitano says they are alike because they both like meat and buns. Then Lenny is gesturing about how big he can take it and saying he's going to bring that Cajun flavor between his buns. Burns going in, burns coming out? Brian Boitano said he wants to eat Lenny's. Does he just see a bear? Good thing they have two more takes! Or is it? The second take is flubbed badly. We don't see the third take, so I guess that's the one they use in the end.
Eddie and Michelle start their first take with Michelle doing her version of the White Man's Overbite while Eddie looks on in the horror of a man who looks like he has some rhythm. Michelle keeps dancing in the second take while also saying "cheesy weesy," which sounds like she either needs an inhaler or has her kids on the mind again. We don't see their third take either.
Alex and Dom have three takes to slap each other and eat a tortilla-wrapped jalapeno. Again, burns going in, burns coming out? I don't want to be standing behind them in an hour!
While they're cooking, Michelle is distracted by her kids again. Lenny is worried about the time to cook that many burgers. Well, he was warned. Brian Boitano is making his buns out of ramen noodles, and they have to sit for 20 minutes before they can be grilled. I'm just waiting for them to lose customers to people with shorter lines.
We see the videos now, and the Burger Boys took the sex out of their video. Michelle keeps dancing through take three and ends with a move that makes you think she's waving a thong around her hand. The judges say her soup needs to kick butt in order to not boring. The Slapstick Boys actually did end up with a video that had Giada and Bobby cracking up enough to make Giada lean forward and show even more cleavage...they might be the winners on the video side after all.
Customers! The Burger Boys have a crowd and no burgers lined up. Unfortunately for Eddie and Michelle, her soup is awful. Dom and Alex are looking safer and safer all the time. Or they were. By the time the judges get there they have no customers and Alex's sausage taco is all burnt. Brian Boitano's ramen noodle bun is a surprise hit, and Richard Blais thinks the burger customers will be the most satisfied despite the wait.
During judgment, Michelle tells the judges that her mind is with her kids. Giada replies that she's a mom too and that it's hard, but that they only want people who really want to be in it. She adds that some people don't realize how hard it is until they're in there doing it. Amy from Season 3, anyone?
The Burger Boys pulled out the win despite the wait. They are the only ones safe, as Giada points out that at this point there are only winners and losers. Alex and Michelle are at the most risk, but I think Michelle will go home. Giada is poised to send Alex home until Michelle interrupts her and quits. Giada gives her a yes/no/cancel, but she goes through with it. And she was so proud to be the last woman standing. As Mike says, she's been in over her head for weeks, but still. Giada and Bobby talk about it and decide to let Alex stay. Eddie Football is competitive enough to not want an asterisk on his win. He needs to bring the flavor from here on out if he wants that to even be a consideration. So Dom and Alex are safe for another week, Alex by the skin of his teeth.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Food Network Star 7/12/15
I'm still less than a week late for Improv Madness. It's sad that that's the best I can manage, but I'll take what I can get right now. We saw a commercial last night for FNS Redemption, and that reminds me to still hold out hope that Rue will come back.
Armenian Mama and Dom say they're going to put last week behind them, and Dom says he's going to do something this week that plays to his strengths. Mike comments that this plan basically limits him to mime.
Ooh, Duff comes to town!!! Oh, yeah, and there's some bigwig with CiCi's Pizza as they get to make pizzas. But Duff is here!!
Brian Boitano thinks that bold, kicked up flavors will be easy for him. Yeah, cause that's what he's been giving us for the last few weeks while he keeps getting saved from elimination by other people being worse than him. The CiCi's guy says that the winning pizza will be on their menu for a limited time. Mike comments that we'll get stuck with it whenever we go, but luckily for us, we never go there! Stevi B's is looking better and better all the time. Mike paused the show while I wrote this, and we get a freeze frame after the clock starts where Emilia is the only one still standing there while everyone else is running for the pantry. There's a winning strategy right there, sweetie.
Dom is putting sausage and pickle relish on his pizza. He does realize that this is pizza and not a hot dog, right? Alex is seeing a pizza as an open-face sandwich, which is an interesting take on it. Too bad he's putting eggplant on it, which is nothing more than a canvas for other flavors unless you're making baba ghanoush. Brian Boitano is making veggie samosa pizza. Uh, come again? Wait, and Emilia is too?? Did they both get off at the same stop on the Crazy Train? They stayed on a station longer than Eddie Football and Lenny Jr, who are both making fruit pizzas. Lenny, however, can't get his cooked through.
Stage Fright Dom is stage frighty again about presenting on camera. Maybe we can get some black and white clothes and makeup for him after all. Lenny knows his pizza is raw, but he does rock the presentation. Brian Boitano also gets stage frighty and starts babbling, but taking a bite puts him back on track and his pizza is good. Harissa has become the It Ingredient du jour, as 2 contestants out of 3 have used it so far. Sandwich King forgets to mention sandwiches, and his crust is raw as well. Emilia sounds like she's presenting to first graders. Both samosa pizzas get raves on flavor, though, so what do I know? Armenian Mama ends up with dead air and nothing special on the plate. Eddie's dessert pizza is fully cooked, and he pulls the brand into his presentation, making him the winner.
For Improv Madness, the contestants get to choose their fellow contestants' dishes based on protein, unlikely ingredient, time of day, and color. Alex gets chicken livers and caramel...that could either make them finally edible or make them something for Fear Factor. The contestants get 45 minutes to cook and then have a 4-minute demo. Ohhhh, the first demo makes the snark so easy! Dom continues to whine about being on camera. Did anyone tell him this contest is to have a tv show?
Bob and Susie are back for the demos, which also include improving a story and an expert tip. Wow, good thing they have 4 minutes! Sandwich King needs bleeping...there's a good way to impress Bob and Susie. Eddie Football looks like a winner again, and Bobby wants to put his salt-and-vinegar chip-crusted fried quail on his menu. Armenian Mama is like cream of wheat, smooth but bland. Emilia starts out well, but then she starts trashing everyone else in a way that moves over the line from funny to offensive. Did she miss the lesson given to others about working with other people? I don't think her reception is going to be very warm back in the green room or in the judging room. Dom gets to go right after her, just to make his stage fright even worse! He actually shines for the first minute, though, before running out of material and having to be a stand-up comic for three more minutes. He's still chewing his duck, too...apparently he missed the lesson about talking with your mouth full. Lenny Jr. shines again, including making fun of his own seized-up gumbo from earlier in the season when he had to talk about a dish done wrong. See, Emilia, that's how you're supposed to make fun of the show experience on camera! At this point, he and Eddie are the front-runners in my book.
As the contestants talk in the green room, Alex talks about how hard it is to come up with a story to tell on camera. Lenny knows his stuff, though, telling Alex that if they can't connect with the viewer, the viewer will change the channel. Bob points out at the beginning of judgment that this is midterm evaluation time. Eddie Football and Lenny Jr. are at the top, with Lenny pulling out the win. Michelle and Brian Boitano are safe as well...apparently bland is enough for Michelle this week. That puts Dom, Alex, and Emilia at the bottom. I think Alex is safe out of that group, but he got the lowest rating from the audience. Emilia apologizes to the judges for her meanness, but where is the apology to her fellow contestants? While the judges are deciding, she's in the green room disagreeing with them while wearing a shirt that says "Break the Rules." They don't even play with saying a name and saying they get to stay, they just tell Emilia she's gone. Giada at least pretends regret, but that is so clearly #sorrynotsorry. Dom and Alex are hanging on by a thread, though, and one of them would have left if Emilia wasn't so mean, so let's see which one of them can pull it up just enough next week to stay alive. Armenian Mama is the last lady standing, which also paints a target on her back, as the boys make clear during the credits.
Armenian Mama and Dom say they're going to put last week behind them, and Dom says he's going to do something this week that plays to his strengths. Mike comments that this plan basically limits him to mime.
Ooh, Duff comes to town!!! Oh, yeah, and there's some bigwig with CiCi's Pizza as they get to make pizzas. But Duff is here!!
Brian Boitano thinks that bold, kicked up flavors will be easy for him. Yeah, cause that's what he's been giving us for the last few weeks while he keeps getting saved from elimination by other people being worse than him. The CiCi's guy says that the winning pizza will be on their menu for a limited time. Mike comments that we'll get stuck with it whenever we go, but luckily for us, we never go there! Stevi B's is looking better and better all the time. Mike paused the show while I wrote this, and we get a freeze frame after the clock starts where Emilia is the only one still standing there while everyone else is running for the pantry. There's a winning strategy right there, sweetie.
Dom is putting sausage and pickle relish on his pizza. He does realize that this is pizza and not a hot dog, right? Alex is seeing a pizza as an open-face sandwich, which is an interesting take on it. Too bad he's putting eggplant on it, which is nothing more than a canvas for other flavors unless you're making baba ghanoush. Brian Boitano is making veggie samosa pizza. Uh, come again? Wait, and Emilia is too?? Did they both get off at the same stop on the Crazy Train? They stayed on a station longer than Eddie Football and Lenny Jr, who are both making fruit pizzas. Lenny, however, can't get his cooked through.
Stage Fright Dom is stage frighty again about presenting on camera. Maybe we can get some black and white clothes and makeup for him after all. Lenny knows his pizza is raw, but he does rock the presentation. Brian Boitano also gets stage frighty and starts babbling, but taking a bite puts him back on track and his pizza is good. Harissa has become the It Ingredient du jour, as 2 contestants out of 3 have used it so far. Sandwich King forgets to mention sandwiches, and his crust is raw as well. Emilia sounds like she's presenting to first graders. Both samosa pizzas get raves on flavor, though, so what do I know? Armenian Mama ends up with dead air and nothing special on the plate. Eddie's dessert pizza is fully cooked, and he pulls the brand into his presentation, making him the winner.
For Improv Madness, the contestants get to choose their fellow contestants' dishes based on protein, unlikely ingredient, time of day, and color. Alex gets chicken livers and caramel...that could either make them finally edible or make them something for Fear Factor. The contestants get 45 minutes to cook and then have a 4-minute demo. Ohhhh, the first demo makes the snark so easy! Dom continues to whine about being on camera. Did anyone tell him this contest is to have a tv show?
Bob and Susie are back for the demos, which also include improving a story and an expert tip. Wow, good thing they have 4 minutes! Sandwich King needs bleeping...there's a good way to impress Bob and Susie. Eddie Football looks like a winner again, and Bobby wants to put his salt-and-vinegar chip-crusted fried quail on his menu. Armenian Mama is like cream of wheat, smooth but bland. Emilia starts out well, but then she starts trashing everyone else in a way that moves over the line from funny to offensive. Did she miss the lesson given to others about working with other people? I don't think her reception is going to be very warm back in the green room or in the judging room. Dom gets to go right after her, just to make his stage fright even worse! He actually shines for the first minute, though, before running out of material and having to be a stand-up comic for three more minutes. He's still chewing his duck, too...apparently he missed the lesson about talking with your mouth full. Lenny Jr. shines again, including making fun of his own seized-up gumbo from earlier in the season when he had to talk about a dish done wrong. See, Emilia, that's how you're supposed to make fun of the show experience on camera! At this point, he and Eddie are the front-runners in my book.
As the contestants talk in the green room, Alex talks about how hard it is to come up with a story to tell on camera. Lenny knows his stuff, though, telling Alex that if they can't connect with the viewer, the viewer will change the channel. Bob points out at the beginning of judgment that this is midterm evaluation time. Eddie Football and Lenny Jr. are at the top, with Lenny pulling out the win. Michelle and Brian Boitano are safe as well...apparently bland is enough for Michelle this week. That puts Dom, Alex, and Emilia at the bottom. I think Alex is safe out of that group, but he got the lowest rating from the audience. Emilia apologizes to the judges for her meanness, but where is the apology to her fellow contestants? While the judges are deciding, she's in the green room disagreeing with them while wearing a shirt that says "Break the Rules." They don't even play with saying a name and saying they get to stay, they just tell Emilia she's gone. Giada at least pretends regret, but that is so clearly #sorrynotsorry. Dom and Alex are hanging on by a thread, though, and one of them would have left if Emilia wasn't so mean, so let's see which one of them can pull it up just enough next week to stay alive. Armenian Mama is the last lady standing, which also paints a target on her back, as the boys make clear during the credits.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Food Network Star - 7/5/15
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, but I was still sleeping off the Fourth...or falling asleep too early after work each night, but the other sounded cooler. Let's see if the contestants' lives are more interesting than my own.
Ooh, is it time for the Chopped challenge? No, everyone has something different, all their favorite ingredients. Lenny Jr. says he's licking his chops for the venison on his board, but it looks more like he's licking his lips over Giada's cheerleader outfit (which Mike keeps rewinding to see). Speaking of boobies, Dom says that ricotta is mother's milk to him. When was Patrick going to tell us that it tastes like ricotta??? Eddie Football knows habaneros like the back of his hand...just don't rub that back of the hand across your eyes, buddy.
Uh oh, now they have to switch ingredients with someone else. Eddie gets Michelle's grape leaves and wonders what a Southern boy can do with that, while I'm wondering how they would taste cooked up like collards. I'd try it some time to see if I didn't hate collards! Rue just got Lenny's venison when it seems from her cooking like they don't have meat anywhere in South Africa. At least Lenny gets a protein in Rue's fish. Eddie Football thinks the same way I do, using them instead of collards in a sausage soup. Ok, maybe I will try it that way, I like kale in soups like the one at Olive Garden. Rue is going to a deconstructed pot roast with Lenny's gorgeous venison. In other words she's going to overcook the hell out of it and then scatter it around on the plate with a few other things? Michelle uses habaneros to overpower her shrimp. Brian Boitano switched from shrimp to scallops because it's ok if they're a little raw. I guess that's one way to learn from your mistakes? Dom has five spice and wants to make a dish like one he used to get on the way to see his grandmother in Flushing Queens. All I know about Flushing Queens comes from watching The Nanny as a kid, but Mike says it's a heavily Asian area, so that might work out well. Alex is going to use ricotta to make cucumber tea sandwiches...maybe he can have a tea party with a group of 5-year-old girls afterwards?
Michelle's plate looks beautiful, but we'll see how hot it is. The judges tell them to switch plates again and then cut to commercial before telling us why. Maybe they have to taste and describe the other dishes like they're doing a tasting on camera? Bingo! They do get to be a little critical, though, like they're on Chopped instead of like they're having to play up someone's dish on another show. Michelle actually doesn't have enough heat to her dish. Michelle did a better job than Eddie in describing, which makes sense since she's a food blogger. Emilia is kinda harsh in her description, but the judges agree with her about the scallops needing more of a sear on them. Brian Boitano wants to eat the whole meal before speaking, and then he gets slammed for saying there's too much salt when there isn't and for not being descriptive enough. Dom wants to know if Sandwich King II treated his ricotta with tender loving care. We don't need to know what you do in your bedroom with your mother's milk, hon. Alex doesn't see Dom crushing tea sandwiches with his boys on Staten Island. We'll see if they both manage to out-feminize Brian Boitano during this segment. Now Dom is comparing ricotta and lemon to PB&J. Wow, Mr. Asian Cuisine Sandwich King can't name the five spices in Five Spice, and in Giada's reaction we see what looks like the exact opposite of her O-face. I can at least name more than half of them! Now let's see how Rue did on her venison. It's not overcooked!! Lenny thinks she did justice to the animal and was effective at describing what venison actually is. Rue described Lenny as having "attempted" to grill the fish, and she was eloquent in describing what the fish should be and why it wasn't that way. As we thought, Rue won for the first time!
The judges have an experiment to try to help discern their cooking styles. Brian Boitano wants the experimenting to stop as he says, "Let me do me!" He seems more like he wants to be doing others, but hey. The judges think they have pairs that can work together well. Eddie Football/Mckayla is not impressed. Time for the coupling up! Giada thinks Brian Boitano will be "fabulous" with Michelle, who Brian does NOT want to work with. Rue's reward for winning the last challenge is that she gets to switch her pairing. She got Dom but wanted Brian Boitano, so now Dom is paired with Michelle. And you can see how thrilled he is. You know, it's pretty bad when even Mr. Stage Fright doesn't want to be paired with you!
The pairs have to make a meal for Match.com that pulls their POVs into one cohesive dish. Eddie Football and the Sandwich King are meshing like peanut butter and jelly as they make a jerk chicken banh mi. Lenny and Emilia make a Cajun pork loin over polenta. Rue and Brian Boitano make an African and Asian surf and turf while Brian Boitano worries that Rue can't bring the spice. Michelle can't seem to do anything except snipe at Dom, who feels the need to supervise her every step of the way. Will she screw up anyway, or will he screw his own up in parenting her? Michelle calls this "The Dom Show, and I'm the dumb sidekick." Finally, some self-awareness!
Lenny and Emilia are plating and Emilia wants Lenny to get a lot of that pork sauce on the plate. Um, why is it yellow then? Emilia says the sauce is where the spice is... They don't get the sauce onto the plate, and the Brussels sprouts seem lacking on some. Their presentation is a hit, but the food? Eddie Football makes sure to talk first, and their presentation and dish show their bromance has staying power. Rue and Brian Boitano wait until service time to cook so that their meat isn't overcooked, but we'll see if the diners are ready for the Hunger Games. They do get the plates created but have no time to coordinate their presentation. Couldn't they have been doing that while they weren't cooking earlier? Their food is raw and touch at the same time and under-seasoned to boot. Michelle takes charge of the presentation since Dom took lead on the food because of Dom's stage friend. Dom doesn't like that, since the first thing he says criticizes marriage in general to a bunch of people wanting to get married. There's a winning play right there, babe. And Michelle doesn't know why he's upset. Dom's risotto is overcooked while Michelle's shrimp worked. Michelle and Dom are fighting like Kramer v. Kramer until Michelle walks off the set. Dom feels remorse and Drama Mama comes back to fight another round.
And fight she does until she is shut down by Anne Burrell telling her to put her Big Girl Panties on and deal with the hand she is dealt. Brian Boitano was wiping away tears at being told their dish has no flavor. He is safe, though. As is Dom, surprisingly, although he is on notice. I think Drama Mama's going, since Rue is so unique. And I'm wrong, very disappointingly. I really wanted to watch and cook from her show. I'm so disappointed I can't even make fun of her mascara running on camera.
Hopefully I'm happier after Sunday's judgment, and I will try to post it sooner!
Ooh, is it time for the Chopped challenge? No, everyone has something different, all their favorite ingredients. Lenny Jr. says he's licking his chops for the venison on his board, but it looks more like he's licking his lips over Giada's cheerleader outfit (which Mike keeps rewinding to see). Speaking of boobies, Dom says that ricotta is mother's milk to him. When was Patrick going to tell us that it tastes like ricotta??? Eddie Football knows habaneros like the back of his hand...just don't rub that back of the hand across your eyes, buddy.
Uh oh, now they have to switch ingredients with someone else. Eddie gets Michelle's grape leaves and wonders what a Southern boy can do with that, while I'm wondering how they would taste cooked up like collards. I'd try it some time to see if I didn't hate collards! Rue just got Lenny's venison when it seems from her cooking like they don't have meat anywhere in South Africa. At least Lenny gets a protein in Rue's fish. Eddie Football thinks the same way I do, using them instead of collards in a sausage soup. Ok, maybe I will try it that way, I like kale in soups like the one at Olive Garden. Rue is going to a deconstructed pot roast with Lenny's gorgeous venison. In other words she's going to overcook the hell out of it and then scatter it around on the plate with a few other things? Michelle uses habaneros to overpower her shrimp. Brian Boitano switched from shrimp to scallops because it's ok if they're a little raw. I guess that's one way to learn from your mistakes? Dom has five spice and wants to make a dish like one he used to get on the way to see his grandmother in Flushing Queens. All I know about Flushing Queens comes from watching The Nanny as a kid, but Mike says it's a heavily Asian area, so that might work out well. Alex is going to use ricotta to make cucumber tea sandwiches...maybe he can have a tea party with a group of 5-year-old girls afterwards?
Michelle's plate looks beautiful, but we'll see how hot it is. The judges tell them to switch plates again and then cut to commercial before telling us why. Maybe they have to taste and describe the other dishes like they're doing a tasting on camera? Bingo! They do get to be a little critical, though, like they're on Chopped instead of like they're having to play up someone's dish on another show. Michelle actually doesn't have enough heat to her dish. Michelle did a better job than Eddie in describing, which makes sense since she's a food blogger. Emilia is kinda harsh in her description, but the judges agree with her about the scallops needing more of a sear on them. Brian Boitano wants to eat the whole meal before speaking, and then he gets slammed for saying there's too much salt when there isn't and for not being descriptive enough. Dom wants to know if Sandwich King II treated his ricotta with tender loving care. We don't need to know what you do in your bedroom with your mother's milk, hon. Alex doesn't see Dom crushing tea sandwiches with his boys on Staten Island. We'll see if they both manage to out-feminize Brian Boitano during this segment. Now Dom is comparing ricotta and lemon to PB&J. Wow, Mr. Asian Cuisine Sandwich King can't name the five spices in Five Spice, and in Giada's reaction we see what looks like the exact opposite of her O-face. I can at least name more than half of them! Now let's see how Rue did on her venison. It's not overcooked!! Lenny thinks she did justice to the animal and was effective at describing what venison actually is. Rue described Lenny as having "attempted" to grill the fish, and she was eloquent in describing what the fish should be and why it wasn't that way. As we thought, Rue won for the first time!
The judges have an experiment to try to help discern their cooking styles. Brian Boitano wants the experimenting to stop as he says, "Let me do me!" He seems more like he wants to be doing others, but hey. The judges think they have pairs that can work together well. Eddie Football/Mckayla is not impressed. Time for the coupling up! Giada thinks Brian Boitano will be "fabulous" with Michelle, who Brian does NOT want to work with. Rue's reward for winning the last challenge is that she gets to switch her pairing. She got Dom but wanted Brian Boitano, so now Dom is paired with Michelle. And you can see how thrilled he is. You know, it's pretty bad when even Mr. Stage Fright doesn't want to be paired with you!
The pairs have to make a meal for Match.com that pulls their POVs into one cohesive dish. Eddie Football and the Sandwich King are meshing like peanut butter and jelly as they make a jerk chicken banh mi. Lenny and Emilia make a Cajun pork loin over polenta. Rue and Brian Boitano make an African and Asian surf and turf while Brian Boitano worries that Rue can't bring the spice. Michelle can't seem to do anything except snipe at Dom, who feels the need to supervise her every step of the way. Will she screw up anyway, or will he screw his own up in parenting her? Michelle calls this "The Dom Show, and I'm the dumb sidekick." Finally, some self-awareness!
Lenny and Emilia are plating and Emilia wants Lenny to get a lot of that pork sauce on the plate. Um, why is it yellow then? Emilia says the sauce is where the spice is... They don't get the sauce onto the plate, and the Brussels sprouts seem lacking on some. Their presentation is a hit, but the food? Eddie Football makes sure to talk first, and their presentation and dish show their bromance has staying power. Rue and Brian Boitano wait until service time to cook so that their meat isn't overcooked, but we'll see if the diners are ready for the Hunger Games. They do get the plates created but have no time to coordinate their presentation. Couldn't they have been doing that while they weren't cooking earlier? Their food is raw and touch at the same time and under-seasoned to boot. Michelle takes charge of the presentation since Dom took lead on the food because of Dom's stage friend. Dom doesn't like that, since the first thing he says criticizes marriage in general to a bunch of people wanting to get married. There's a winning play right there, babe. And Michelle doesn't know why he's upset. Dom's risotto is overcooked while Michelle's shrimp worked. Michelle and Dom are fighting like Kramer v. Kramer until Michelle walks off the set. Dom feels remorse and Drama Mama comes back to fight another round.
And fight she does until she is shut down by Anne Burrell telling her to put her Big Girl Panties on and deal with the hand she is dealt. Brian Boitano was wiping away tears at being told their dish has no flavor. He is safe, though. As is Dom, surprisingly, although he is on notice. I think Drama Mama's going, since Rue is so unique. And I'm wrong, very disappointingly. I really wanted to watch and cook from her show. I'm so disappointed I can't even make fun of her mascara running on camera.
Hopefully I'm happier after Sunday's judgment, and I will try to post it sooner!
Monday, June 29, 2015
Food Network Star 6/28/15
The episode description says it's time for Fourth of July cookouts. On June 28. Let's do the Time Warp again?
The contestants are divided into teams of three. Mama Rosa thinks everyone wants chicken parm at a picnic. Brian Boitano realizes that his meat costs $250 with a minute left on the clock...Football Eddie to the rescue as he makes it to the meat department to slice the portion and back to the checkout time as the clock ticks off the last second. Football Eddie recognizes a fellow athlete as he notes that Brian Boitano is sweating like he just finished a figure skating competition. Rue's team ended up $100 under budget. This still isn't Hunger Games, and I'm sure that will come up in judging. However, it will be someone else's problem as the judges make the teams switch cars.
Bobby Dean is still in good with the Food Network, and he is the guest judge today. Dom is mourning the loss of his steaks while Lenny is rejoicing. If there's one person he wouldn't want to give up a set of gorgeous ribeyes to, it's the Grillmaster. Mama Rosa has to go vegetarian because someone (Rue?) did not have a protein. Brian Boitano is wondering what to do with his shrimp while Mike tells him to put it on a stick. Brian then gets a little too excited about the cucumbers. He's going to grill some fennel with it, so we'll see if he can do it better than Rosa last week. Football Eddie has some gorgeous loins. Sandwich King makes his own ketchup and mayo to use as bases for other sauces. I admire anyone that can make mayo by hand. I love watching Meryl Streep do it in Julie and Julia. Dom pouts for a while before coming up with an idea, but I'm wondering how it will taste. Armenian Mama will be cooking during service and trying to keep up. That always goes well.
Time for everyone to introduce their dishes to the Dials of Doom. Each person gets to only choose one meal to eat. Emilia starts out channeling Katy Perry as a firework and the audience responds. Rue starts out ok and fizzles from there. Stage Fright Dom returns and makes Rue look engaging. Brian Boitano sets the stage and is on fire, and then Sandwich King takes all of the rest of the time crashing and burning. Or almost all of it. Football Eddie has to actually interrupt him to get ANY time, and then Sandwich King jumps back in to talk over him at the end like a five-year-old wanting his mommy. Mama Rosa is engaging for once, and Armenian Mama and Lenny keep it going. Looks like everyone is going to want their food, so we'll see if Armenian Mama can keep up with cooking her skewers. Football Eddie engages with the crowd since he didn't get to talk during presentation.
Tasting time. Dom's steak is good and his panzanella salad has decent flavor but is a little soggy. Emilia's mint pea puree is good, but her tandoori chicken is bland. Rue's shrimp dish gets good marks as well. Too bad they had no line after the first five minutes. Football Eddie's loins lack flavor, but Alex's sandwich is the best dish so far. Brian Boitano's shrimp lollipops are bland and undercooked. The white team has a long line, but it's because both Mamas are in the weeds trying to keep up with demand. They start losing people to the boys' team. Mama Rosa has too much unheated bread for her mushrooms. Armenian Mama is ending up with charred skewers. Ah, time management.
The red team had 40 seconds left on the clock thanks to Dom and Rue. Football Eddie would have liked that time! Rue is told, "PLEASE step up!! We need your food, but you suck at selling it. Please, have a party! Feed us drinks! GET US LAID!!!" Football Eddie is told he has been letting it all slip away. Blue team won by 3 tokens and are all safe from elimination. In other words, Rosa and Michelle dicking around on time management cost their team the win and sheltered Alex from the whupping he deserves for his presentation. Rue is safe despite her lecture from the judges. Dom and the remaining Mamas are at the bottom. The judges are not sure whether Armenian Mama can cook outside her home kitchen but decide to send the last Italian Mama home instead.
Tune in next week to see if we lose our last Mama or if District 11 loses their last tribute.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Food Network Star 6/21/15
I'm finally emerging from the haze of medication and finding an appetite again. Let's see if this makes me lose my appetite again. Looking at the synopsis on the DVR, we are (pretending to be) sad that Hashtag Manic Squirrel left before Buzzword Day.
Some of the girls are in the car mourning that the guys are staying in the top 3. Michelle gags a bit, and Mike comments that this probably isn't the first time a guy has made her do that. Trish will like this challenge for Shoot the Food, since they have to photograph their dish. Emilia body checks Football Eddie to get to the mussels, and her Thai red curry mussels make me want to try it despite generally not liking mussels. Football Eddie's seared scallops are SEXY...I don't want someone to break me off a piece of that, I want the whole thing. Michelle wants to deconstruct a ratatouille...isn't that called a farmers' market basket? Brian Boitano gets creative with plating his crostini...since all of the plates are taken, he turns small bowls upside down to create pedestals for his creation. Sandwich King starts out with some decent looking crab cakes - this Maryland girl can see the lumps inside. But then he ruins it to the point where Mike is yelling at the screen like it's a football game. Because then when we yell at the screen, it DOES affect the outcome, damnit!! He tops those little lovelies with generic poofy slider buns. You're killin' me, Smalls!!!
Giada and Bobby aren't even going to taste two of the dishes, so the sex appeal of the photos really does matter. The first one they pick is Football Eddie's scallops, and they agree with me. SO jealous I didn't get to taste it! Lenny is next with his steak over blue potatoes. Stage Fright Dom is engaging, and so is his eggplant parm. Brian Boitano's plating earns him a taste, but his personality and food are not as engaging. Michelle's deconstructed ratatouille (animated character meets a spring trap?) and her presentation are both described as lacking their usual spunk. Mama Rosa describes her meatballs as "basic" and Bobby gets on her for underselling herself, but Giada thinks she was on par with her description. Mama Sita needs a lesson from Gladys Knight on the flavor of chicken and waffles. The last dish to be tasted are Emilia's mussels, so Rue and Sandwich King lose out. Dom actually wins something! Let's see if it helps in the next challenge.
Ooh, Geoffrey Zakarian and Sunny Anderson! We learn from Armenian Mama that Geoffrey shares her nationality. Well, that answers that question. We also learn that it's apparently a trend to make food that sounds like it should be gross. Dom needs a vocabulary lesson since he apparently didn't learn "incendiary" in school. Do they not take the SATs on Staten Island? We have teams of guys versus girls. They have to make a raw appetizer, a burnt salad, a stinky entree, a slimy soup, and an incendiary dessert. Dom talks about the essence of "stank" like he's on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
At presentation time, the girls decide to go raunchy and offer Fifty Shades of Flay. Rue has bland steak tartare on warm bone marrow, which slightly cooks the steak. Armenian Mama fails to seduce with a slimy spinach soup with eggplant tentacles...oh, wait, octopus tentacles! She knows what eggplant testicles are, thankyouverymuch! However, she wants to throw everyone else overboard and go on a private cruise with Geoffrey, while Sunny wants to take the eggplant testicles to the face. Rule 34??? I will note that, in the adventures of my changing appetite, eggplant testicles made me hungry. I got ham and smoked Gouda and crackers, though. Mama Rosa makes a burnt fennel salad that isn't as sexy as it sounds despite her pun about diners being burnt out. The ship is going down, and the little man in the boat is unhappy. Which one is the little man, Bobby or Geoffrey? Mama Sita has made my go-to of penne, but she made it with crab. Waste of good crabmeat if you ask me, and crab and garlic do not "stinky" make. Emilia is flaming her spicy mango napoleon with meringue tableside and has a much more successful napoleon than I ever see on Chopped.
The men have no theme other than "Boys rule, girls drool!" Sandwich King did not make a sandwich but did a lovely tuna tartare with radishes for the raw app. I want! I miss raw tuna! Lenny is worried about his slimy gumbo. It looks like his roux seized up. Pathetic for a Louisiana boy. Football Eddie freezes up in his presentation, and the burnt element of his salad is not visible. Dom does bring the stank with his Gorgonzola polenta. Brian Boitano also needs a vocab lesson, as he can't remember how to pronounce the word incendiary and never uses it in his presentation.
Going into judgment, we think Mama Sita and Rue are most likely to go home, with our money on Rue since she also missed tasting in the first challenge. I hope not, though, because she brings something really new that I would love to watch. I love things like South African peanut soup, and I'd love to learn to make more African cuisine (no Somalian foreign aid jokes, please). Armenian Mama and her eggplant testicles were the best on the women's side, with Emilia second. The men were better on the food and the women won on presentation, so neither team came away with a win. Brian Boitano and Dom won on the men's side, but Michelle won overall. Whew, Rue is safe!! Football Eddie is in the bottom three, though. He's safe, and hopefully that lights a fire under his butt. Rosa is safe, too, and Mama Sita goes home. She would have gone home last week except for Manic Squirrel being a cocky jerk. Mama Sita comments that they won't get to taste what she can do. Um, they already did, honey, that was your problem.
All right, now that we're caught up, I will try to be more prompt with our next installment. But for now, more cheese and crackers.
Some of the girls are in the car mourning that the guys are staying in the top 3. Michelle gags a bit, and Mike comments that this probably isn't the first time a guy has made her do that. Trish will like this challenge for Shoot the Food, since they have to photograph their dish. Emilia body checks Football Eddie to get to the mussels, and her Thai red curry mussels make me want to try it despite generally not liking mussels. Football Eddie's seared scallops are SEXY...I don't want someone to break me off a piece of that, I want the whole thing. Michelle wants to deconstruct a ratatouille...isn't that called a farmers' market basket? Brian Boitano gets creative with plating his crostini...since all of the plates are taken, he turns small bowls upside down to create pedestals for his creation. Sandwich King starts out with some decent looking crab cakes - this Maryland girl can see the lumps inside. But then he ruins it to the point where Mike is yelling at the screen like it's a football game. Because then when we yell at the screen, it DOES affect the outcome, damnit!! He tops those little lovelies with generic poofy slider buns. You're killin' me, Smalls!!!
Giada and Bobby aren't even going to taste two of the dishes, so the sex appeal of the photos really does matter. The first one they pick is Football Eddie's scallops, and they agree with me. SO jealous I didn't get to taste it! Lenny is next with his steak over blue potatoes. Stage Fright Dom is engaging, and so is his eggplant parm. Brian Boitano's plating earns him a taste, but his personality and food are not as engaging. Michelle's deconstructed ratatouille (animated character meets a spring trap?) and her presentation are both described as lacking their usual spunk. Mama Rosa describes her meatballs as "basic" and Bobby gets on her for underselling herself, but Giada thinks she was on par with her description. Mama Sita needs a lesson from Gladys Knight on the flavor of chicken and waffles. The last dish to be tasted are Emilia's mussels, so Rue and Sandwich King lose out. Dom actually wins something! Let's see if it helps in the next challenge.
Ooh, Geoffrey Zakarian and Sunny Anderson! We learn from Armenian Mama that Geoffrey shares her nationality. Well, that answers that question. We also learn that it's apparently a trend to make food that sounds like it should be gross. Dom needs a vocabulary lesson since he apparently didn't learn "incendiary" in school. Do they not take the SATs on Staten Island? We have teams of guys versus girls. They have to make a raw appetizer, a burnt salad, a stinky entree, a slimy soup, and an incendiary dessert. Dom talks about the essence of "stank" like he's on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
At presentation time, the girls decide to go raunchy and offer Fifty Shades of Flay. Rue has bland steak tartare on warm bone marrow, which slightly cooks the steak. Armenian Mama fails to seduce with a slimy spinach soup with eggplant tentacles...oh, wait, octopus tentacles! She knows what eggplant testicles are, thankyouverymuch! However, she wants to throw everyone else overboard and go on a private cruise with Geoffrey, while Sunny wants to take the eggplant testicles to the face. Rule 34??? I will note that, in the adventures of my changing appetite, eggplant testicles made me hungry. I got ham and smoked Gouda and crackers, though. Mama Rosa makes a burnt fennel salad that isn't as sexy as it sounds despite her pun about diners being burnt out. The ship is going down, and the little man in the boat is unhappy. Which one is the little man, Bobby or Geoffrey? Mama Sita has made my go-to of penne, but she made it with crab. Waste of good crabmeat if you ask me, and crab and garlic do not "stinky" make. Emilia is flaming her spicy mango napoleon with meringue tableside and has a much more successful napoleon than I ever see on Chopped.
The men have no theme other than "Boys rule, girls drool!" Sandwich King did not make a sandwich but did a lovely tuna tartare with radishes for the raw app. I want! I miss raw tuna! Lenny is worried about his slimy gumbo. It looks like his roux seized up. Pathetic for a Louisiana boy. Football Eddie freezes up in his presentation, and the burnt element of his salad is not visible. Dom does bring the stank with his Gorgonzola polenta. Brian Boitano also needs a vocab lesson, as he can't remember how to pronounce the word incendiary and never uses it in his presentation.
Going into judgment, we think Mama Sita and Rue are most likely to go home, with our money on Rue since she also missed tasting in the first challenge. I hope not, though, because she brings something really new that I would love to watch. I love things like South African peanut soup, and I'd love to learn to make more African cuisine (no Somalian foreign aid jokes, please). Armenian Mama and her eggplant testicles were the best on the women's side, with Emilia second. The men were better on the food and the women won on presentation, so neither team came away with a win. Brian Boitano and Dom won on the men's side, but Michelle won overall. Whew, Rue is safe!! Football Eddie is in the bottom three, though. He's safe, and hopefully that lights a fire under his butt. Rosa is safe, too, and Mama Sita goes home. She would have gone home last week except for Manic Squirrel being a cocky jerk. Mama Sita comments that they won't get to taste what she can do. Um, they already did, honey, that was your problem.
All right, now that we're caught up, I will try to be more prompt with our next installment. But for now, more cheese and crackers.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Food Network Star 6/14/15
Now that I'm done watching Starks die on Game of Thrones, it's time to see the ways FNS contestants will murder food tonight. Ooh, Melissa d'Arabian is back on tonight to watch the contestants make dinner with what's in the random fridges and the pantry. The rush for the fridges when the challenge starts is reminiscent of the start of the 74th Hunger Games, but Rue is more of a contender here.
Emilia gets to the chicken first and takes Armenian Mama's idea of chicken soup but makes it Libyan with dried mint and harissa. Mama Sita got the rest of the chicken, but she's putting mayonnaise into her chicken alfredo. Well, the only thing I can say is that my Italian aunt Rose puts American cheese in her lasagna. Meanwhile, Mike is grabbing a biscuit and going off to cry about mayonnaise alfredo and Jon Snow. Rosa's pissed that everyone else got to the pasta first because she's Italian. Reminds me of Debbie a few years ago, who wanted everyone to know that Koreans use soy sauce and garlic 'cause they're Korean. She finds flank steak singing to her...honey, if the steak is singing to you, you've got bigger problems. Brian Boitano says that he has to make something perfectly. Um, yes, dear, that is the intent.
Presentation time. Brian Boitano's performance is on ice, and his food should be there too. Rosa treats the camera like her best friends, but she's way too babbly with her friends. Let's see how Mama Sita's mayonnaise alfredo with cheddar cheese goes over...hopefully for her, it's better than her performance. Mike says he wonders why a Jersey Girl can't keep talking for 30 seconds straight. Mama Sita wants to cry after her performance, and the judges do too. Matthew rehearsed his part. To me, it didn't seem to help enough, although the judges liked that he was more focused. Football Eddie manages to fit Cheat Day into his spiel about 8 times in 30 seconds. Rue doesn't even get the name of the dish out in 30 seconds. Sandwich King abandons his sandwiches to make fried rice...doesn't the idea of leftovers lend itself perfectly to a sandwich? Emilia wants to play with the spices...like in a sandbox? She slowed down, but she didn't smile at all. Armenian Mama made pork chop soup since she didn't make it to the chicken in time. Lenny II made a barbecue salmon hash and presented it perfectly. Bobby challenges him to show something new about himself each time. Dom still has STAGE FRIGHT, and his rehearsing really didn't help. You're killing me, Smalls!
Next challenge: make a savory baked item that is inspired by a sweet baked good. While you're at it, turn your workstation into a bakery that will impress pastry chefs. Armenian Mama is lost until she thinks of a traditional Armenian appetizer that is similar to an apple turnover. Matthew breaks out the science experiments as he makes a blue cheese ice cream with liquid nitrogen to go with his treat. Brian Boitano makes princess cakes, and Mike wonders whether those aren't just "cakes" coming from him. Emilia has almost nothing out at the end and is already calling her food a "disaster." At judging time, in comes Alex Guarnaschelli, because she doesn't spend enough time on the Food Network as it is. Mr. Stage Fright calms sown, but then he starts explaining himself too much. If you have to explain yourself, that's not usually a good thing, but it comes across better than expected. Lenny Jr, on the other hand, is so rehearsed that he comes across as a used car salesman. Brian Boitano makes up for his previous performance with a turkey meatloaf cupcake. Emilia is also apologizing for herself and writing her own ticket home. Mama Sita takes advantage of the fact that there's no time limit and talks and talks and talks and talks. Alex delivers the ultimate blow: "This dish tastes like something on Chopped, like someone was constrained to use specific ingredients." Eddie Football makes Caribbean corn muffins, and Alex and Giada rave about him like they're ready to let him at theirs. Bobby doesn't seem to mind getting some crumbs either! Rosa seems to engage the judges and is described by the judges as a possible star, but she grates on it. Sandwich King describes his Vietnamese crepe as a different kind of sandwich. Alex comments on his sex appeal...man, the girls are ready to go today!! Armenian Mama puts forth a bland appetizer and admits not making her own puff pastry, but Alex describes her as "genuine," Matthew comes across as having NO social skills and calls Alex a "beast." And his food is just as good.
Judgment time! This week's winners are Eddie Football and Brian Boitano. Bottom two are Emilia, Mama Sita, and Awkward Matthew. Awkward Matthew acts like he knows everything and the judges are just being mean. Alex describes Awkward Matthew as being like riding a bull at the rodeo...apparently that's one of the guys in the lineup that she doesn't want to ride today! Awkward Matthew's cocky smile when it looks like Mama Sita is being sent home gets Giada to change her mind, and the judges decide to send him home. Confidence will get you far, but cockiness will get you an express ticket home, even ahead of Emilia.
Tune in next week to see who's a king and who chokes worse than Joffrey.
Emilia gets to the chicken first and takes Armenian Mama's idea of chicken soup but makes it Libyan with dried mint and harissa. Mama Sita got the rest of the chicken, but she's putting mayonnaise into her chicken alfredo. Well, the only thing I can say is that my Italian aunt Rose puts American cheese in her lasagna. Meanwhile, Mike is grabbing a biscuit and going off to cry about mayonnaise alfredo and Jon Snow. Rosa's pissed that everyone else got to the pasta first because she's Italian. Reminds me of Debbie a few years ago, who wanted everyone to know that Koreans use soy sauce and garlic 'cause they're Korean. She finds flank steak singing to her...honey, if the steak is singing to you, you've got bigger problems. Brian Boitano says that he has to make something perfectly. Um, yes, dear, that is the intent.
Presentation time. Brian Boitano's performance is on ice, and his food should be there too. Rosa treats the camera like her best friends, but she's way too babbly with her friends. Let's see how Mama Sita's mayonnaise alfredo with cheddar cheese goes over...hopefully for her, it's better than her performance. Mike says he wonders why a Jersey Girl can't keep talking for 30 seconds straight. Mama Sita wants to cry after her performance, and the judges do too. Matthew rehearsed his part. To me, it didn't seem to help enough, although the judges liked that he was more focused. Football Eddie manages to fit Cheat Day into his spiel about 8 times in 30 seconds. Rue doesn't even get the name of the dish out in 30 seconds. Sandwich King abandons his sandwiches to make fried rice...doesn't the idea of leftovers lend itself perfectly to a sandwich? Emilia wants to play with the spices...like in a sandbox? She slowed down, but she didn't smile at all. Armenian Mama made pork chop soup since she didn't make it to the chicken in time. Lenny II made a barbecue salmon hash and presented it perfectly. Bobby challenges him to show something new about himself each time. Dom still has STAGE FRIGHT, and his rehearsing really didn't help. You're killing me, Smalls!
Next challenge: make a savory baked item that is inspired by a sweet baked good. While you're at it, turn your workstation into a bakery that will impress pastry chefs. Armenian Mama is lost until she thinks of a traditional Armenian appetizer that is similar to an apple turnover. Matthew breaks out the science experiments as he makes a blue cheese ice cream with liquid nitrogen to go with his treat. Brian Boitano makes princess cakes, and Mike wonders whether those aren't just "cakes" coming from him. Emilia has almost nothing out at the end and is already calling her food a "disaster." At judging time, in comes Alex Guarnaschelli, because she doesn't spend enough time on the Food Network as it is. Mr. Stage Fright calms sown, but then he starts explaining himself too much. If you have to explain yourself, that's not usually a good thing, but it comes across better than expected. Lenny Jr, on the other hand, is so rehearsed that he comes across as a used car salesman. Brian Boitano makes up for his previous performance with a turkey meatloaf cupcake. Emilia is also apologizing for herself and writing her own ticket home. Mama Sita takes advantage of the fact that there's no time limit and talks and talks and talks and talks. Alex delivers the ultimate blow: "This dish tastes like something on Chopped, like someone was constrained to use specific ingredients." Eddie Football makes Caribbean corn muffins, and Alex and Giada rave about him like they're ready to let him at theirs. Bobby doesn't seem to mind getting some crumbs either! Rosa seems to engage the judges and is described by the judges as a possible star, but she grates on it. Sandwich King describes his Vietnamese crepe as a different kind of sandwich. Alex comments on his sex appeal...man, the girls are ready to go today!! Armenian Mama puts forth a bland appetizer and admits not making her own puff pastry, but Alex describes her as "genuine," Matthew comes across as having NO social skills and calls Alex a "beast." And his food is just as good.
Judgment time! This week's winners are Eddie Football and Brian Boitano. Bottom two are Emilia, Mama Sita, and Awkward Matthew. Awkward Matthew acts like he knows everything and the judges are just being mean. Alex describes Awkward Matthew as being like riding a bull at the rodeo...apparently that's one of the guys in the lineup that she doesn't want to ride today! Awkward Matthew's cocky smile when it looks like Mama Sita is being sent home gets Giada to change her mind, and the judges decide to send him home. Confidence will get you far, but cockiness will get you an express ticket home, even ahead of Emilia.
Tune in next week to see who's a king and who chokes worse than Joffrey.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Food Network Star is back! 6/7/15
Well, the first thing we see is that Giada's dresses are getting even more revealing this season! Next we see one person calling the studio more amazing than childbirth and another who looks like he's the only one who thinks he's fashionable. We have 3 food truck owners so far, including one with stage fright.
We start with the challenge to introduce yourself and your point of view in 30 seconds. We start with a Jersey Italian girl who Mike thinks looks straight outta Goodfellas. Our "fashion plate" doubles as a drag queen and used to be a professional figure skater. I'm sorry, didn't we already try that with What Would Brian Boitano Cook? We have Italian soul food from Mamma Sita, and Lenny Part II describing himself as a "big Southern teddy bear." We have an Armenian woman married to a Venezuelan man...Mike says, "Just because you're Latin by injection does not mean you know how to cook arepas." Mr. Stage Fright has a mac and cheese food truck in Staten Island. Eddie and his muscles used to play for the Dolphins, and oh, yeah, he has a Caribbean food truck. Emelia is described by one of the other contestants as Stepford. Christina thinks she has an edge because she can cook all kinds of food...how does that set her apart again? And then she wants to ignore the advice of the coaches...there's a winning strategy right there, sweetheart. Matthew is like a little manic squirrel that has been snarking on everyone else. Yes, I am, too, but I don't have 11 other people that I'm competing with! Rue looks a lot more mature and put together than Rue from Hunger Games (as much as I loved her). She takes less than 30 seconds, but South African cuisine is certainly something new for Food Network. Someone else wants to take the crown of Sandwich King. Yes, Jeff Mauro's not wearing it anymore, but that's probably because it didn't make a lasting show.
Now they get to make a video doing the same thing...yay for a second chance. Let's see who listens to feedback and who doesn't. They also get to cook for a Food Network Star Food Festival...and Bob and Susie. I do miss when they were on as regular judges. Christina can't cut her green papaya on the mandoline and is getting flustered. It's been nice knowing ya, sweetie.
Time to taste the food and see the videos! Mr. Sandwich has a comeback on his video, but then his food destroys it. Ms. Goodfellas was busting out of her rice ball. Rue needs to learn that if you say you have a charming personality, you usually don't. Her shrimp is incredible, though...I'm jealous I didn't get to eat it!! Brian Boitano muddled his message but had a lovely plate that got rave reviews. Emilia tries to tell you that she is racy...that never goes over well. Her food is good, but not great. Lenny Jr. has an engaging and funny video and a delicious but spicy bite. Mr. Stage Fright shows it BADLY in his video, but Giada gives his Italian food the thumbs up. Michelle the Mom needs her video to be more interesting, but her food is pretty good. Eddie Football has the drag queen licking his lips but isn't very clear in his POV. His shrimp is very good, but doesn't seems to follow his POV. Christina offers a tasty ride...I'm sure a lot of people would like to take her up on that, but she didn't personalize that enough for the judges. Her food isn't just badly cut, it's bland. Mamma Sita rocks her video, but not her dish...it gets described as tasting like it was made with an instant packet. Matthew looks more like a magician than a Food Network star. Bobby says WTF after his video and is surprised that his food is actually good.
Evaluation time: Your top three are Lenny Jr., Eddie Football, and the drag queen. We are surprised that Emilia is also safe, leaving Manic Squirrel, Stage Fright, and Christina. Michelle the Mom tries to get all mothery with Manic Squirrel, who shoots her down because he obviously knows everything. We'll see if he starts to listen, because he and Stage Fright get another chance while Christina goes home. I guess no one else wanted to get on her tasty ride.
So that's it for tonight, SnarkFolks! We'll see you next week for Adventures in Foodiesitting.
We start with the challenge to introduce yourself and your point of view in 30 seconds. We start with a Jersey Italian girl who Mike thinks looks straight outta Goodfellas. Our "fashion plate" doubles as a drag queen and used to be a professional figure skater. I'm sorry, didn't we already try that with What Would Brian Boitano Cook? We have Italian soul food from Mamma Sita, and Lenny Part II describing himself as a "big Southern teddy bear." We have an Armenian woman married to a Venezuelan man...Mike says, "Just because you're Latin by injection does not mean you know how to cook arepas." Mr. Stage Fright has a mac and cheese food truck in Staten Island. Eddie and his muscles used to play for the Dolphins, and oh, yeah, he has a Caribbean food truck. Emelia is described by one of the other contestants as Stepford. Christina thinks she has an edge because she can cook all kinds of food...how does that set her apart again? And then she wants to ignore the advice of the coaches...there's a winning strategy right there, sweetheart. Matthew is like a little manic squirrel that has been snarking on everyone else. Yes, I am, too, but I don't have 11 other people that I'm competing with! Rue looks a lot more mature and put together than Rue from Hunger Games (as much as I loved her). She takes less than 30 seconds, but South African cuisine is certainly something new for Food Network. Someone else wants to take the crown of Sandwich King. Yes, Jeff Mauro's not wearing it anymore, but that's probably because it didn't make a lasting show.
Now they get to make a video doing the same thing...yay for a second chance. Let's see who listens to feedback and who doesn't. They also get to cook for a Food Network Star Food Festival...and Bob and Susie. I do miss when they were on as regular judges. Christina can't cut her green papaya on the mandoline and is getting flustered. It's been nice knowing ya, sweetie.
Time to taste the food and see the videos! Mr. Sandwich has a comeback on his video, but then his food destroys it. Ms. Goodfellas was busting out of her rice ball. Rue needs to learn that if you say you have a charming personality, you usually don't. Her shrimp is incredible, though...I'm jealous I didn't get to eat it!! Brian Boitano muddled his message but had a lovely plate that got rave reviews. Emilia tries to tell you that she is racy...that never goes over well. Her food is good, but not great. Lenny Jr. has an engaging and funny video and a delicious but spicy bite. Mr. Stage Fright shows it BADLY in his video, but Giada gives his Italian food the thumbs up. Michelle the Mom needs her video to be more interesting, but her food is pretty good. Eddie Football has the drag queen licking his lips but isn't very clear in his POV. His shrimp is very good, but doesn't seems to follow his POV. Christina offers a tasty ride...I'm sure a lot of people would like to take her up on that, but she didn't personalize that enough for the judges. Her food isn't just badly cut, it's bland. Mamma Sita rocks her video, but not her dish...it gets described as tasting like it was made with an instant packet. Matthew looks more like a magician than a Food Network star. Bobby says WTF after his video and is surprised that his food is actually good.
Evaluation time: Your top three are Lenny Jr., Eddie Football, and the drag queen. We are surprised that Emilia is also safe, leaving Manic Squirrel, Stage Fright, and Christina. Michelle the Mom tries to get all mothery with Manic Squirrel, who shoots her down because he obviously knows everything. We'll see if he starts to listen, because he and Stage Fright get another chance while Christina goes home. I guess no one else wanted to get on her tasty ride.
So that's it for tonight, SnarkFolks! We'll see you next week for Adventures in Foodiesitting.
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