Ah, Hell's Kitchen, you are always good for a Snark! Let's see what 18 new chefs give us to laugh about. I'm settling down for adventure with my Diet Coke and my favorite pizza in the world.
First of all, I REALLY miss JP!! James isn't bad, but JP is awesome! Carrie's already putting a target on her back by talking on the bus about how hot she is. I'm going to need to do some research, because I swear I've seen Will on another show, maybe Throwdown? Ramsay starts the show with another mindfuck, making it seem like they're playing to a packed house at the Orpheum and then giving them an empty auditorium. We learn that the prize restaurant is in NYC and this season's opening credits have a pinball theme. I always love watching the credits, although I'm getting sick of the bit with the designated Hot Girl blowing a kiss of flames.
Byko says:
1. Jason appears to be some sort of Mario Batali lookalike. That said, I didn't really see him much in any of the preview clips at the beginning, so maybe he doesn't last too long?
2. Jason, Natalie, and Carrie are all talking smack on the bus. $5 says that all three of them are gone by the halfway point of the season.
3. So, if the Masterchef prize is $250,000 and the Hell's Kitchen prize is a $250,000 salary, can we just have the two winners face off at the end, winner take all? Because I bet that would actually be a close call.
And finally, has there ever been a chef that blows a kiss in the intro that has lasted more than two or three episodes? Carrie, you're officially on notice. That said, based on the intro alone, Amanda looks like a leading contender.
My first impression as they're making their signature dish is that Monterray's a little too belligerant already. Yes, you're right that you don't need to cut anyone else a break, but in any kitchen you need to give your fellow cooks enough room that you don't elbow them! Carrie's not the only one to put sugar in mashed potatoes, so get off your high horse Gina. Apparently it was too much sugar, though, since Ramsay spit it out. (Byko: "So, does this mean I can keep the sugar in my mashed potatoes? At least I haven't seen you spit them out.") Branden, shouldn't your signature dish be something YOU came up with? Steven, how can you screw up the HK basics of scallops and risotto before the first dinner service even starts?? Why is everyone looking down on tacos? They may be "pedestrian," but so are plenty of other things that good chefs make delicious!
Byko: Steven, Gina and Jamie--have y'all ever seen HK before? There are three basic things you MUST be able to do in order to last long: cook scallops, cook lamb, and make a risotto. And Steven, what the heck was that on the plate? Risotto? I think with your dish, you discovered something new: a new disease that's closely related to chicken pox. And chicken pox on a plate is NOT something I want to see on any menu anytime soon!
Ramsay gets more creative with his insults: "You're so full of shit your eyes are brown"
The guys get to go to LA Market and meet Nona. I was so happy to see her win last year! The girls get to clean the kitchen and Elise needs to get over herself. If you've ever watched this show, you know that you win as a team and you lose as a team. Sometime I'd like to try those Henckel knives. I love my Calphalon knives enough that I take them on vacation with me if I think I'll be cooking! Jason needs the medic during prep...I hope we don't have another one learn about heart problems on the show. Turns out he needs bed rest and won't be coming back. Too bad, I would have liked to see him cook. (Byko: Well, I guess that explains why we didn't see much of him in the previews!)
During a commercial break, we learn that Kitchen Nightmares is casting in the Baltimore/DC area...that'll be interesting to see. In other commercials, I'm not sure I would buy old seasons of HK on DVD.
Byko: According to our announcer, "Tonight, Hell's Kitchen is once again the place to be in Los Angeles." Um, not in week 1 it isn't (unless you're anorexic)!
Ooh, I would love that birds' eye view of the kitchen, almost as much as I'd like to sit at a chef's table sometime. I like Carrie's efforts at communication, but I'd be interested to know if Elise wasn't communicating on purpose or by mistake. Steven's too much of an eager beaver, and he and Elise are showing their egos right away. So far, despite her poor signature dish, Krupa is shining in dinner service. The men have 3 guys sitting out after losing Jason to the DL...how many will the Blue team be down by the end of the night? Carrie, that's too much liquid in the pan for sauteeing scallops...apparently the girls also have issues with the fish station. Jonathan, it's great that you cooked a Wellington perfectly the first time ever! The question I have for you, though, is why didn't you practice ahead of time? It's always on the menu! Elise, you're not making friends with your team or with Ramsay by trying to take over. Let's see if some time sitting out cools you off.
Byko: Yeah, props to Carrie for standing up for herself and her station and pushing back against Elise--I don't think I've seen anyone do that before, though we've seen a number of chefs in seasons past get bullied off their stations and then get bullied by Ramsey! Other random thoughts: nice to see something new on the menu (even if squab is about as unsexy as it can get), Monterray's early mistake on garnish is at least a new one, and that first risotto did look exactly like rice pudding (even if I thought it looked like oatmeal at first), so that wasn't an actual insult from Ramsey there!
Chino just looks confused in the kitchen, particularly with his mouth always open, and Tommy, you really don't need to go to the Chino School of Clueless Looking Facial Expressions.
Steven, do you have ANY clue what a good scallop looks like? Because albino isn't it!
Uh oh, people are walking out before even giving Ramsay a chance to shut the kitchen down. He shuts down both kitchens barely into the entrees, and the boys are sniping at each other in evaluation, trying to prove who has more balls. As often happens, it's the worst opening dinner service ever. The more I see him, the more Steven reminds me of the stereotype of a 70's porn star. I am quite glad to see his back; now I just can't wait to get rid of Elise.
Byko: Steven, I'd say you have entusiasm, at least. Granted, it may be only 2 ounces worth, and it may be misplaced, but at least it's there. But this is Hell's Kitchen, not Hell's Dishwasher! You can clean the pans after you lose the team challenge next week! Can you show me just ONE actual redeeming quality you have on the cooking side of the kitchen?
Brendan, for crying out loud, you jackhole, take your lumps like a f***ing man! You blew it when Paul and Jonathon were somehow able to rip off wellingtons left and right, so just fess up!
Monterray, saying that you're better than one of the worst isn't exactly selling yourself. You won't be around long with defenses like that. And Chino, you're damn lucky to still be around after basically admitting you're in over your head!
All that said, getting rid of Steven was the right call: between being wholly incompetent on service and serving chicken pox on a plate as a signature dish, he wouldn't come anywhere close to even getting a Masterchef apron. So now, congratulations Steven: you can go jump in the oven just like Ramsey wants you to, even if you look nothing like Sylvia Plath!
So far, at least the women who bombed the signature dish challenge (Krupa and Carrie, at least) proved themselves during service. Brendan, Chino, Monterray, and Tommy, you all have NO chance next to Will, Paul, and even Jonathon (who will definitely be exposed when we get passed the competency half of the season and get to the second half, focusing on creativity).
Is that someone rooting around in the trash in the preview for next week?
Byko: It sure looks like it. And at least this time, it's not Rupert Murdoch. Good night!
No comments:
Post a Comment